10 Lessons From My Last 3 Months (Part 1)

Welcome to the Clarity Corner, where you'll discover how to unlock and express the most authentic version of you and realize that this is exactly what you were looking for the entire time. I'm your host and your coach, Megan Siemens. Now let's make some magic happen. Hello, my friend. Welcome back to the Clarity Corner. Feels so good to say. I'm so excited to be here. I'm so excited you're here. I took an unintentional three month break and it was so good. And today I want to share 10 lessons that have come through for me over these last three months. I want to do this for a couple of reasons. One, I think there's so often these collective themes that we're all going through and I think I've shared before on the podcast, like, I'll have a week where all of my clients are asking the same question. And I think it's this, this subtle reminder that we are so not alone in the things we're going through. We are probably going through them differently and we're not alone and we don't have to do them alone. So I want to share them for that reason and I think it'll just give you a little behind the scenes of what's been going on over the past three months over here and maybe give you a little permission to reflect on some of the lessons that have landed for you and the last three months. Because I think we forget what can happen in 90 days. And maybe, maybe you realized that I've been gone for three months. Maybe you didn't. Maybe you're brand new to the podcast. I'm so glad you're here and it's just landed at exactly the right time. Our perception of time and others is pretty skewed. And so I do want you to know if you are currently beating yourself up because, because of how much or how little you've been showing up, I want you to remember that our, our perception of time, when we put it with others, is truly so different than the way we see time within ourselves. So example of that is, I mean, with this podcast, how I took a three month break, maybe you're like, I literally had no idea. Or have you ever seen where someone will put on social media, you know, sorry, I disappeared for two weeks. You're probably wondering where I'm going and you're, and you're kind of like, I didn't even realize that you haven't been posting or on the too much side. Where I see this show up the most with business owners is I Can't possibly talk about this launch anymore because I'm going to annoy people. You know, everyone's already seen this and people just are in their own little life. And of course we have like our core inner circle people that are gonna, you know, check in on us if we are showing up a little bit differently and on either side of the spectrum. One of my friends was just recently sharing that a friend of her, a friend of hers kind of lovingly told her, I think you're just selling too much on your Instagram. Like, I miss you on there. And so, you know, we have these people in our inner circle that can challenge us and can check on us and all of that. But when it comes to self beat up around, I'm not showing up enough or I'm showing up too much. I just invite you to let that go because especially if you're a business owner, you also have to be a human and your energy matters and your energy matters greatly for the results that you're getting in life and in your business and if you're not a business owner in your work. And I just want to give you a little permission today that if you feel like you need to like step on the brake for a little bit, press the pause button or you feel like you need to step on the gas and you just want to like rev past the this thought of like, well, people are just gonna think I'm doing too much. I just invite you to let it go. So I originally set out to take like a month break because I was prepping and creating the next project that will be launching on this podcast, which I'm very excited about. And I'll tell you at the end more about that project. But my intention was I'm gonna step away from the mic for a little bit and I'm going to record what will be launching in this season of the podcast. I guess we're officially in seasons. Welcome to season two. And that turned into about three months, and rightly so, because not only was I creating that project, I also left on our annual European trip. So if you're new around here, Andrew and I typically go to Europe every summer because we live or in, are based in Florida and it gets too hot to handle here. And we've honestly just really intentionally crafted our life to be able to make that happen. We tried full time travel. That wasn't right for us and our energy and what we, our values are aligned with. And so this is what works for us, has worked for us for the last several years. That could be a whole other podcast episode. And I also was working with my amazing private clients. My books have been full all summer. I just filled my only October spot that I'm opening up. And on top of all of that, I launched Back to you. And I think that was probably the main factor that really allowed me to create some spaciousness in these last three months. So if you don't know what Back to you is, it is my new membership that I launched and it has been the most magical space. So basically I opened the doors to that for the first round of incredible women. And they truly are incredible women that stepped into this space. And I closed the doors for the first 90 days because I really wanted us to co create this space together. They're telling me what feels really, really good, what they want more of, what they want less of. And we have just had the most fun over the last three months together. And there's been some pretty epic transformations as well. So just a little more insight about Back to you. I'll definitely be sharing more about Back to you here in the coming weeks because I'll be reopening the doors. But it is my coaching membership. So every single member gets one laser coaching 30 minute coaching session every single month. And that's really the heart of Back to you. And that was, that was my dream for a long time. And a lot of people told me I couldn't do this for so many reasons. It's not scalable, like, that's not a great offer. I mean, so many different stories. And you know, this year I was finally like, you know what? This is just what I want to do. This has not gone away. I don't know anyone else that has something like this. And I want it to be out there in the world for so, so many reasons. I mean, the main one being just how transformational coaching is, period, full stop. And it is also my answer to the accessibility of coaching as well. Not just on a monetary standpoint, but also on a energetic and time standpoint, along with so many other factors that we consider when we're stepping into a coaching agreement with someone. But I think there's been such a rise of high ticket coaching. This could be a whole other episode of like unasked for opinions that I have about the coaching industry. Might be a good episode. Let me know if you want me to do that one. And I, I saw that happening and I saw so many negative side effects of that happening. I saw beautiful side effects of that happening as well. And I saw coaching becoming just More and more and more of a luxury. And I think ultimately I'm still working on this thought. It's not a fully baked thought, but I do think in some senses coaching is a luxury. Coaching doesn't answer any of our survival needs. It's not something we need to survive. It's something that's designed to help you thrive. And again, whole other podcast episode I feel like I need to take notes of branched off episodes from this all that to say I wanted an answer to you can experience coaching no matter where you're at. And so that was one of one of the many reasons I launched back to you. Outside of the one on one coaching, we also have incredible group space that's held and resources that launch every month, basically giving you a toolkit and a checkpoint to come back to you. Because no matter what chapter of life you are coming with you. You are going to be the one constant in every single chapter. In everything you build, in everything you create and everything you burn down. In every mess and season of chaos, you are going to be there. And so we have to take care of that foundation. Have to. That is, is it a survival. I mean, I guess on like the hierarchy of needs, it's not a survival thing to take care of you. I mean, maybe let me, let me bake this thought more and I'll come back to you on it. But I believe that you have to take care of you because you're coming with you every season. And I mean, this in itself has been a lesson just as, as does happen when you launch a new project or step into a new chapter of your life, I feel like you're just going to amplify the lessons of whatever that is you're stepping into. And so coming back to you has been such a lesson in itself over the last several months and a beautiful lesson at that. And the, the members in back to you are doing incredible things. We have women showing up online for the first time, feeling confident, sharing their voice in ways that they couldn't have imagined sharing. Women knocking out and getting new certifications. We have women setting boundaries for their work and really being intentional with what work they're putting on their plate. Women are understanding deeply what it is to honor their energy and, and how to call more into life without more feeling super overwhelming. I could go on and on. We have women who are finally creating consistent content again, women who are learning to feel safe going inward. So many magical things happening in that space. So if that sounds magical to you, I will put the Waitlist link In the show notes. I'll be opening the doors here in a few weeks again for Back to you. And I also will just let you know before we move on to the next thing in the show, if you, if you are one of my private clients, you also get back to you for your entire series. And then if you want, after our series wraps, you can continue on with the laser coaching through Back to you. So anyways, so much more I could say about that. It has just been the most joyous project that I've launched in my business. I feel like I haven't had this kind of joy in a launch since I launched my private coaching. And I mean, maybe that's unfair because it has private coaching in it, but it has so much more. We also dive into your design, human design each month. Oh, so much goodness. It is truly, truly been such a nourishing space. And if anyone in here is listening, that's one of my back to you magic makers. I want you to know how much you've impacted my life over the last three months because you showing up for you is also healing for me. It's also nourishing me. It's also feeding my energy and it's, it's so beautiful. It is like this give and receive in that space. And the community element to that space has been a wonderful surprise that's unfolded as well. There's been collaborations happening, people supporting each other's projects and passions and cheering each other on. It's, it's, it's a special place. Okay. And then we've also been traveling. Like I said, we went to the uk, we went to France, we went to the Netherlands. Travel is such an expander for me and it is something that it was, it was the heart of my initial vision into building my first business. And it's been an evolving and consistent spark that has, it's given me so many lessons in itself and so many lessons unfolded this trip as well. That could be again, a whole separate podcast. I need to write these down. That, just the lessons that, the trip itself and I have a few of those sprinkled in. But yeah, it was a really, really, it was a really good trip in so many ways. We experienced some really magical things. But also I got to celebrate my love with my husband. We celebrated our 10 year anniversary of being together and our one year wedding anniversary. And gosh, it was, it was really magical. On our 10 year, we hiked the tallest mountain in the UK. I thought, you know, if we can make it 10 years, let's see, let's see if we can make it up this really challenging mountain together. And it, it was a challenge. This isn't actually in my lessons. I don't think it's in my lessons. No, we're going to get a bonus lesson here. That was such a challenge. So we have had our eyes on hiking this mountain and it's called Ben Nevis if you want to look it up for. There were three times we had planned to do it and each time various things happened. The weather, I think twice the weather got us and then once Andrew's knee blew out and that felt like too much of a risk to take. And so this trip we packed our hiking boots and part stubbornness, part divine timing led us to hiking this. And it was kind of special that it was on. It landed on our 10 year anniversary. That was part timing but also part very intentional. And I think the, the stubbornness was I'm lugging these hiking boots, they took up like half my bag. And, and I will hike this mountain. I will not think about it anymore. I will hike this mountain. And part defined timing was so I don't remember the number of days, but essentially it's extraordinarily rare to have a clear day at the top of Ben Nevis. There's some pretty severe weather conditions that happen on that mountain, like rain itself, but also like hail. It's very susceptible to. I think the weekend after it that we hiked it, it got its first snow of the season. But the divine timing was that we had the one clear day of the season. And I couldn't have planned that. I mean, I checked the weather as a responsible hiker and I knew it was supposed to be good. But it kept getting more and more and more clear. And we had the most clear day at the top of that mountain. And it was hard. It was so hard. Like beautiful weather was, I think something that helped pull me up the top of the mountain. I don't know if I could have done it if we were facing some of the severe conditions that it gets. The reason it's such a hard hike is it's only 4,000ft and you'll hear about like Colorado mountains being 14ers, but you're starting when you're doing a Colorado mountain, you're starting higher above sea level and Ben Nevis starts at sea level and you go up like straight up. So it is really challenging. And the most elevation gain happens in the last mile of the hike. I mean, so imagine like, I don't know if you've ever hiked before. But you're. I feel like there's these stages of hiking where you're like, you start and you have maybe this high energy boost and then you kind of like you go up and then you're kind of questioning like, why am I doing this? Is this even fun? Should I turn around? Like, we did good. Made it halfway. Like that's good enough, right? And then you maybe get another energy boost and then you kind of start lagging again and you're hungry and your body's doing weird things and then usually you're like, oh my gosh, I'm almost there. And I feel like there's another little mini spike that happens as you're approaching the peak. It was the most absurd, absurd experience at the end for me because it was completely a rocky path and horrible elevation and it looked like it never ended. And I had to play some serious mental games in that. And every time I hike, I am just reminded of how strong my body is, how powerful my body is, and how much control we have over our body. So if you don't know, again, this bonus lesson for you all. If you don't know. My lungs collapsed when I was about 14. I had two surgeries on it. They clipped a part of my lung out and I have a ton of scar tissue still that I can feel depending on certain factors and elements. They want, they wanted me to use an inhaler for the rest of my life. I don't use an inhaler. They told me that I really couldn't, you know, run or hike or do these things that other people would be doing. And I didn't accept that either. So, I mean, I think that all started when I ran my first half marathon. I wanted to show myself how strong my body was. And every single hike that I do, I am reminded how powerful I am and how strong I can be and how I don't get to let other people speak over me, how I'm gonna live my life. And I think we can do that in a physical sense too. And so, oh, it's getting me a little teary eyed. I hope that this bonus lesson landed for you. Let's talk. Let's get into the lessons now. And I don't think I said this at the beginning, but I think my hope and my intention is Whether it's all 10 lessons or one lesson, I hope that this lands for you exactly how it needed today. So number one, this was a big lesson pre leaving for travel. And the lesson itself is sometimes structure creates the flow. And I am typically someone who operates a little more in flow. I don't love strict routine. I have like, like I know I'm always going to spend at minimum 30 minutes on me in the morning. No phone, no distraction. I'm always going to give 30 minutes to me. But I've really fluctuated between morning routine, must do these three things and various different ways of holding that. And they all ended up feeling really restrictive. So I don't know if you relate to that, but I in short, have always just been more of a person that operates in flow. And I kind of took that to an extreme. I think around the time that I was like, I'm throwing my morning routine in the trash and I'm just doing what I want to do. I'm promising myself 30 minutes. Sometimes it's more. And I realized too how much of an extreme I went with that. Especially as we were planning this trip. This was the first trip that we were both working the way we're working in the past. We've had maybe more like flexibility in our work is the best way to put it. And we were feeling this trip that we needed to know we were going to be grounded. And that's one of the reasons that we do these kind of two to six month trips in the middle of the year while still having a home base back home. Because we tried full time travel and it just didn't work well for our energy. We just didn't enjoy it. We tried it I think two or three times and it felt very ungrounding and untethered to us. I mean it was fun and it was like a both and situation. And so our style of travel just works really well to have this like long term extended stay while being feeling a little more grounded because we have a home base to go back to. So that's what works for us. I think everyone travels a little bit different and the past few trips we've kind of just done very go with the flow. I will say Andrew and I, neither of us got like the organizational gene. Like neither of us have a lot of Virgo in our chart. If you're into the astrology, it's just not our strong suit. Like we, there are no like trello boards in this household. Someone else can make one for us. That's great. There's just not a lot of planning. We are very go with the flow people and we enjoy that to an extent. And sometimes I think we have to look at how are the things I enjoy actually going to my detriment. Instead. And in this case, traveling where we just had no plans and we were just like, spontaneous and free, it wasn't really working for us anymore. And we didn't want to swing that all the way to the other side of the extreme of, like, let me structure it so hard that every minute of my day is planned out. And so I got this. I actually got this breakthrough as I was writing my book, as I'm speaking this out now, it wasn't just travel. I had this piece of wisdom land in. As I was talking to a friend about my book, I said, you know, sometimes structure creates the flow. Sometimes structure creates the flow. And I can see this apartment building being built across the way from my office space in my home base. And I can see all the bones of the apartment. It's all coming together. And it just was reminding me, like, this structure is what's going to create the flow of someone making that a home and living in their home. And so for our travel, how can I create structures? How can I create the bones of this trip so that we can still have the flow that we both thrive on in between? And in my book, since that came up, I was trying to just sit down and free write, which I did for my first book, and it wasn't working. And it was getting so, so frustrating. And so one of my friends one day was like, oh, I have this outline. Would that be helpful for you to follow? And it was literally one of those moments where, you know, when something so simple comes through and you're like, oh, an outline. What a brilliant idea. I didn't think about it, and it was so simple, yet everything I needed, everything I needed, I've written. I think I'm at almost 30,000 words in the book now. And I've also started the book proposal, which is so exciting. And so all these things were showing me sometimes it is structure that creates the flow. Because I can have both. I can create the bones of a trip and I can still do things like spontaneously go to the Netherlands for a concert. We were able to do that with the structure that we created. I can do things like create an outline for a book and write completely out of order. Like, be in the middle of writing chapter two and then go, oh, I have such a good idea for chapter six and start writing it. And so whether you are resonating with this so hard of like, oh, yeah, like, I'm such a float person, but I am craving a little more of that structure. Or maybe you're the opposite. You are Such a structure person, and you need to let a little more flow in. Just notice. Or if you're like, neither of those are really landing to me, I invite you to just notice. Like, is there something I've kind of gone into the extreme with? And I maybe need to just shift that and let the opposite in just a little bit. Not to where I'm completely letting go of what I know works for me, but to where it can support the thing that I know allows me to thrive. Okay, we're only on lesson number two. I hope you're enjoying this so far because we have a journey to go on. This might come into a two parter episode. So lesson number two was really around focal points and consistency. And this really started to land in. For the first back to you workshop. We did a workshop on going from scatteredness into focus. Oh, it was one of my favorite workshops I've run. And if you do join, back to you later this year, you'll get access to all of the previous previously recorded workshops and calls. The first workshop we did was bringing yourself into focus. And that was when this lesson really started to integrate into my life. I think consistency has always been something I've known is so powerful. I've been consistently showing up in my coaching business for, oh, how many years has it been? Eight years. Wow, eight years. And I think I'm just now seeing the fruits of showing up for eight years and keeping strong on my vision. The same with travel. I think I shared at the beginning of the episode. Travel was like the heart of why I started a business. When I was graduating college, I was like, I don't want this. I don't want to go into the traditional life. I don't want to land myself in a job where someone dictates my days. Again, resisting the routine. I don't want to end up in something that's not fulfilling me. I don't know where I'm gonna go, but I know that for sure and I know that I want to keep traveling. Andrew and I started so much of our relationship on travel and it was something that was already expanding me in so many ways. And so travel was always like a focal point in my vision. It was something that I knew I would keep my eyes on. And it has evolved and it has changed, but it's always remained a part of my why. And I think if we can remember our focal points, we can remember what are the elements of my vision that have stayed true month after month, year after year. Other things are going to come and go like, there have been seasons where I was really focused on the material. I was like, I want that Louis Vuitton purse. I could care less about that now. Like, there's gonna be some things that change, but there's gonna be some things that remain constant. They are always there. They are always your foundation. And I think those are actually just so important. Like, how strongly can you keep your focus without strangling your focus in. In. In the meantime? Because when we put pressure on it, it's kind of like screaming at a cat. I don't know if you all have ever had experience with a cat, but, like, tell a cat to move. I feel like it's usually just gonna, like, stare at you. Like, why are you talking to me human? And that's the same as our vision. If we're like, can you just happen? Can you happen right now? Like, what are you doing? Happen, happen, happen, happen. We, one, create a lot of excess pressure, which doesn't open our perspective to other solutions we could be creating. And two, we miss out on opportunities. I love that quote. I don't know who said it or if I said it. The blurred lines of all of the wisdom that's landed the past eight years. Anyways, the quote is, sometimes on your way to a dream, you get lost and find a better one. And I think that's so true. I've seen it happen again and again with clients, clients who have said, this is what I want. And then we work together for. I've been so blessed to work with so many of my clients for five, six, seven years now, and so much more magic has unfolded that they could have ever imagined. And when we hold so tight to something, we're like, this is how it has to happen. And we have that sense of control over our vision. We miss out on those magic things, and then we just feel pressurized in between. And that's often how we lead to burnout. So what are your focal points? What are your consistencies? And how true can you stay to those focal points? I think I've seen this, like I said, really come alive in my coaching business. I knew coaching was for the long term for me. I love coaching. I love doing it so much, and I wanted to be a master at my craft. Like, how often are you. Like, this is the thing I want, but you're not willing to give it the attention. It's like, I want this beautiful garden to grow, but I'm not willing to water it. It's another thing I've done this year is I got I've kept plants alive, multiple plants alive for the first time in ever. In inside plants, that is, I've kept outside plants alive. I'm pretty good at that. There is this sense of like consistency with it too, of am I watering them, am I rotating them every now and then, am I telling them how beautiful they are? Yes, I'm crazy plant lady. I do that. And the other way I learned this over the last three months is when we went to the concert in Amsterdam. We went to a Noah Khan concert which if you haven't heard of him, I don't know. Go look him up if you like. Like Mumford and Sons Lumineers, I think you'll like him. It was like my answer to being heartbroken that Mumford and Sons broke up and I would never be able to go to one of their concerts. But I find his. His most recent album, Stick Season, which is his most popular song. There's so much resonance in it and I think this is the coolest. This is not to the lesson, but I promise I'll get back to the point. There was something so cool about being international at a concert with majority of people that were from the Netherlands at this concert that resonated so hard with this guy that wrote songs about small town Vermont. Like, if that is not a testament, I'm getting like full body goosebumps. If that is not a testament to how much the world needs your story and the connection points that we have, I don't know what is. I mean, it was so magical to see. But I read about his success story after the concert. I don't know I do that. I did that with Ed Sheeran too. If I like go to a concert or a movie where I'm just like really impressed with the actor, I think it's maybe a projector trait. Tell me if any other projectors do this. There's something about seeing like an auditorium of 17,000 people. I think that's how many people were at the concert. Show up for this person's craft that like feels so empowering for me. And so I really like to read their success stories because I know this wasn't overnight, which was very true for him. And there was a quote that he had in one of his interviews that was just like. All I knew was I liked making music and there was a time when I couldn't even fill a room of a hundred people. And I just kept showing up for whoever was present and I just kept showing up for what I love doing and I just kept showing up for my joy, my music. And there's something so potent about the way artists do this. I think there's definitely shadow work in the artist industry, so singers, photographers, painters, creatives in all ways outside of even the traditional sense of art, that there's just a certain way that they hold their vision for their craft that I just think is so powerful. And. And reading that was so. I don't know, it just took me to another level. Reading like, oh, there is a time I couldn't fill 100 seats. And now to have sold out concerts of 17,000 is surreal. And it's because I just kept showing up for my work and I think that's so important. One thing I've done since I started my coaching business is I always zoom it into the one person. Yes, there are times when I zoom it out and I connect with the big vision, but in the day to day, I more often connect with what is the one person need to hear. Today, recording this podcast, I hope that you're the one person that needed to hear this, and I focus on that one because I believe in the ripple effect, that one can have another episode for another time. We can go into the ripple effect because there's so much I could go into there. But I think when we can show up for the one, when we can show up for the joy, there's something magnetic that happens from there. Okay, lesson number three is claiming my fear. Like, not becoming my fear. There's a difference. Not letting fear take ownership over me, but claiming my fear. And this really came alive in. I went to my friend Mandy's breath work in person retreat. We did our podcast episode after I attended that, and it was so magical. If you're ever looking for breathwork support, Mandy's work is unreal. I just went to another breath work circle for the new moon, and my life was shattered and changed in all the best ways. But there was this moment where she asked us, I think she said we were gonna dance and we were in person. Yeah, that was totally it. And she asked, you know, how's everyone feeling? And everyone was kind of quiet. And she kind of asked again, maybe in a different way. And I said, oh, I'm terrified, but I'm scared all the time. And I just keep showing up. And everyone laughed and had this, like, collective exhale. And someone was like, I'm so glad you said that, because I'm also terrified. And I realized in that moment how hard I was fighting my fear from having space. And all fear wants is to be heard. All Fear wants us to be heard. And I've realized over the last few months, I've done a lot of work with this and I've been working with clients on fear since I started coaching, because when I started coaching, my primary niche was getting out of your comfort zone. So I've really been studying fear and learning fear over the past several years. And early in my journey, I heard a podcast interview with someone I really look up and respect. The question was asked, you know, you've had so much success, you have a multi seven figure business, you show up in, you know, speaking events and all these things. And I just have to ask, like, I know we all still have fear, like, what are the fear stories that still show up for you? And she told the interviewer, you know, to be honest, I just don't have fear anymore. It's just not here. And I remember in that moment it like it locked in without me giving it a second thought. And I created this almost instant belief that, oh, one day I'm going to get to a point where I'm just not going to have fear. Great. The more successful I am, the less fear I'm going to have. And that wasn't happening. It was not happening. In many ways, the opposite was happening. I was having more fear showing up. And I still have so much fear all the time. And I have found over the past few months that just giving that voice is what has allowed the fear to lessen. And I think that's what some of us need. I think some of us might, might erase fear. Sure. I think some of us will experience fear in different ways. And I think some of us have fear kind of like sprinkled into our DNA. And so I've just been putting it into practice more just like claiming my fear instead of just trying to like jump like, you know the quote, I think I've talked about it on here, feel the fear and do it anyway. I think that's just such a overarching quote that leaves out so much nuance. I think we talked about that in Jackie's podcast here on the show. And so I realized how often I was operating on like, I'm gonna feel the fear and do it anyway, and I'm not gonna give it any voice. And there's just been something so refreshing about just like owning my fear, claiming my fear, and sharing my fear with other people. I find that it's been such a permission slip to voice my fear to people. And it's always, I don't know, it always seems to be A surprise. I'm scared all the time. I just am. And I've just learned to be okay with that. And in being okay with that, I've found that I've just had so much less fear. So take that as you wish. I do believe that we don't all navigate fear in the same way. There's not one like six step formula that's going to get you out of there. I think there's a pathway to reframe our fears and I think that we're all going to process and navigate it differently. Just like we process and navigate everything in different ways. You know, I was talking to my friend recently and, and we were talking about travel and I was like, yeah, I'm terrified of flying. So anyone who doesn't know that about me, I try to not claim that. I try to not claim like, oh, I have a fear of flying or I have flight anxiety. Like there is an element to where I don't want that to become part of my identity because I do. I actively feel like I make steps on that all the time and I actually do a lot of active work on that fear. And I'm still really scared of flying. I mean, every time I, I don't get into the panic attack state that I used to, but I do feel a lot of fear every travel day. And I told her from that recently and she was like, what? She's like, I would have just never known that just because of your lifestyle. So yeah, I'm scared all the time and I just, I just own that it's part of me and I, and I love it about me. I think there's been like such a space of acceptance in that with me recently, which just feels so good and it feels so freeing. So I invite you, yes. To look at how you process fear. And is there something you've been running away from for so long because you feel like you should be more evolved in that or you should just know how to get over it or whatever it is that you're just ready to just say, you know what? I think this is just here and I think it's here to stay. And I think it's like partly designed to be a lifetime lesson for me and just see how permission giving that is and notice the subtle difference between saying this is here and I have power and control and the difference between okay, this is just who I am and like I'm just gonna fully identify with it. There's such a difference. Okay, number four, I. This is one that's definitely still Baking. But a lot of stuff has landed in over the last months, and I feel like I'm definitely having a strong calling to lean into this one a little bit more and more and more. And that is on mother dynamics. Mother, Mom. Hi, Mom. If you're listening, my mom is the best. I love her so much. She loves the work that I do, and she's definitely my number one fan in anything. And I. I know she's here listening to this episode. I love you so much, Mom. And I also know that not everyone has that relationship with their mothers. And there are so many dynamics that can come into the mother daughter relationship particularly. And I've been really curious recently with what are the things that carried over from my mother, that carried over from her mother, that carried over from her mother. How long has this generational, whether it's a wound or even a gift, how long has that come through? How many lineages has that come through? How am I ready to shift it? How am I ready to mother myself in so many ways? And I've really particularly been diving into and studying mother dynamics when it comes to experiencing and expressing our joy. And, oh, there's a whole section coming in the book on that. And it's. It's just been really juicy to dive into. And I find that when you lean into, like, opening up to learning something, you'll just like, randomly come across things that support that lesson. Good old universe. Delivering us things. God delivering us things. However you want to look at it, all lenses are welcome. And mine often come in the sense of books. I very much read a book that I'm kind of intuitively drawn towards. And I have had this book sitting on my shelf for a while. The Heroine's Journey, A Woman's Quest for Wholeness. It's by Maureen Murdoch. I had it sitting on my shelf for some time. I started reading it last year sometime. And I. I just know immediately if I get into a book if it's not time for me to read it. And so I started this one last year. I was like, nope, not time. And right around the time I was really starting to lean into the mother dynamics and study more and learn a little bit more about the generational things that we, particularly as women, carry through in our mother line when it comes to smiling. I picked up this book and the first quote, looking me in the eyes. I'm just going to read it to you. It's by Adrienne Rich of Woman Born. It says, the mother stands for the victim in ourselves. The unfree woman, the Martyr. Our personalities seem dangerously to blur and overlap with our mothers. And in a desperate attempt to know where mother ends and where daughter begins, we perform radical surgery. I invite you to just take a moment and see how those words land for you. There's certain elements of it that ring more true for me. There's certain elements that I felt like I needed to read twice and there's certain elements that kind of stung me a little bit. And yeah, I'm just getting really curious with what are these dynamics? What do these dynamics look as we both me and mother continue to grow and how do they still affect my day to day moves? I really recommend this book if you are interested in expanding on that quote. The whole book is definitely not about mother dynamics, though I might have a few of those book recommendations soon. Actually, the next chapter after the mother dynamic one is father dynamics and it really just looks at all of the dynamics we bring bring through as women. Yeah. So this one's definitely still baking and there's just a lot of curiosity with it. And I did a writing session with a amazing coach at Raquel who was also on this show. I know such amazing people. I'll link all these episodes that I've shouted out in the show notes if you want to go back and listen to anything. I had a session with her and she pulled some cards for me and one of them was the mother card. And so it is just here. It's very present. I'm very grateful to have a wonderful relationship with my mom, which I think gives me a whole different lens to be able to explore this work than someone who had a very turbulent relationship with their mother. I had other turbulence in my life, but God graced me with good family dynamics. Thank you. But even in the book it talks about even if you have the wonderful parent, there's actually some really specific dynamics that come into play there. Anyways, all still baking, all still landing, but definitely started to land in at the beginning of this last kind of 90 day cycle, if you will. Okay, number five. And then we're gonna split this into a part two. So stay tuned for details on. On how that's gonna happen next. Gosh, this lesson, it makes me like. I don't know, it makes me cringe to even say out loud. But I also know that I'm just not alone in this one. I am very aware that I spend way too much time on social media. I've become really aware in the last couple of months of what my scroll is replacing. I'm noticing what thoughts it is feeding and what thoughts it is allowing me to avoid. I'm noticing how it's changing habits and patterns in my life. I'm noticing how it's hindering my creativity and I'm getting a little fed up with it. You know, I've known this for some time. I think part of I did the 21 day reboot challenge last year and it was something I was noticing then and starting to replace it with healthier habits. And I think I'm at the point now where I'm just like, wow, I'm just really fed up with this. And I'm. I'm teetering that thought of like, can I just delete all social medias? But there's also so much magic in social media and there's so many connection points I've made thanks to social media. And so again, I think this comes back to one of our earlier lessons of like, we don't have to swing to the extreme. And so I'm just playing with this idea of what is all of this telling me right now. Like I said, it makes me cringe a little bit because I never thought I would be someone who got sucked into like a social media scroll. I. I immediately did not get tick tock when it came out because I downloaded the app in 2020 when it was kind of. I don't know if that's when it came out. I don't know a lot about tick tock. People ask me questions and I'm like, I don't know what's. What's the TikTok? But I downloaded the app for a day and I remember getting stuck in my first. I think that my friend Kayla uses the word scroll hole. I don't know if she made that up, but I'll give you some credit for it. That was the first time I remember getting stuck in a scroll hole where I scrolled and scrolled and scrolled and then looked at the clock and I was like, oh my God. I thought I was scrolling for two minutes and I think it was an hour. And I was like, nope, I don't want any of that. There's something it does to your brain. And there's been so, so many studies coming out about this around what short form content does to our brain and our attention span. I think the average attention span has now lowered to. Well, I can't remember if it was 8 seconds or 08 seconds, which is wild. And I'm starting to see the effects that it has on me and I don't like it. I Think that conversations I've had with other people about this, like, there's almost this like shame, especially if you're in like the self help world. Because I do think in many ways the way social media is affecting some people right now is mirroring patterns of addiction. I think we're gonna see more and more studies come out about that. But for me right now what I'm really focusing on is one, cleaning up my feeds and two, getting really clear on my intentions. I'm also putting more focus and energy on different connection points, like remembering that yes, social media has fueled a lot of connection and magic, especially in my, my business life. And at the same time there's so much power in getting out in person. It's been a long time since I've done an in person workshop and some of those are brewing right now. And also spending more time in my client spaces, like my back to you space and these beautiful containers and spending more time curating client check ins and client experiences for my private clients. So yeah, I think overall there's just been a lot of, of curiosity behind this and a lot of cleanup and intention like I said. And what that looks like is clean up. One, I'm, every time I'm on, particularly Instagram, for me, every time I'm on there, I'm really looking at like, who am I following and why am I following them and what is the feeling they give me when they pop up in my feed. And the reminder is that sometimes it people that we follow are meant to be around for seasons. Also, this gets like full circle back to the very beginning of this podcast conversation. A lot of times when I'm talking about this with people, they're like, oh, I'm afraid they'll like see that I unfollowed them and it'll hurt their feelings. Yeah, if it's one of your friends, probably, there's probably a different way to approach that. But if it's someone who's just like work you followed initially and right now it's not resonating or it's not working for you, or it's not sparking or igniting the right thing for you, like permission to unfollow. Permission to unfollow me for a little bit. I hope you stay. I hope my lessons haven't scared you off so far. But truly, how can I make this a space that feels really good to enter into? Because we live in a digital world now and our digital spaces do matter and I think they need cleanup just like we do spring cleaning. In our house. Just like we evaluate our friendships sometimes, just like we evaluate our projects that we're doing at work, just like we evaluate how we're holding our clients in space, our digital spaces need that attention too, and they need that intention. So what is your actual intention with your social media? And I just want to say if you are feeling like you're getting stuck in those mindless scrolls, like I see you and I just invite you to drop any shame around it. There can be so much self beat up around, like, oh, I just spent, you know, however many minutes scrolling, like, oh, what is wrong with me? I just invite you to lovingly release that and just meet yourself where you're at. And if you're, I don't want to say struggling with this, but if you're just noticing, like this is a pattern, I'm just like fed up with and ready to break. You can do it. Just take one step at a time and use whatever tip that I shared. Feels good for you. I particularly invite you to notice though, what, what thoughts are behind your mindless scrolls and what is that feeding and what are you avoiding? Those have been really powerful questions for me recently. I have really discovered that I used to really go to social media scrolling for inspiration and, and it would spark my creativity. Now with the way content is, gosh, just like these hot takes and like quick like little content blips, it like does something to my brain where it jumbles it. And I've lost like all creativity completely. And there's like this sense of frustration with that. And I'm also like finding new outlets in that as well. So I've shifted a little bit from. I mean, I'm still definitely on Instagram. I've shifted a little bit into threads because I like the way you can share over there. And I. There's something I love about written word, probably why I'm writing a book. So I don't know. I think still all these lessons are still forming and still baking, but they're really ones that have solidified over the last 90 days. I'm always a work in progress. I think we all are. You know that reminder that there's no end destination in healing. If we're reaching the end destination, I think we're reaching our deathbed if we get there. So if you're rushing to the end point, just take a, take a pause there, slow down at the yellow light and notice where you're rushing towards. Because if we reach the end destination, what is that? That's the end of life. Are you ready to go there? So yeah, I am going to pause the lessons here. And by pause I mean we're going to come back for part two. I didn't know these lessons had so much to say. I hope they have landed. Do come into my inbox. Come into my DMs. How it would light up my world if I heard from you as I step back into this podcasting space. Oh I would just love to hear from you so much. I'd love to hear if there was one lesson that you really needed to hear today if you were that one person it landed with. It helps me remember I'm not so alone too. And it helps you remember that as well. So I'd love to hear from you. I am going to come back with part two on Thursday. So do look out for the Thursday drop of part two. We still have some juicy ones coming. Really excited for our last five. I should have known better that self projected me. Couldn't fit all of these in to one comeback episode. And in part two I'll also share what is to come on the podcast and the project that I feel like so many of you are going to benefit from. So I will see you on Thursday with part two. I will hear from you in the meantime. And hey, if you have just a quick second and you loved hearing the podcast waves today, you're excited that we're back on air and you haven't left me a five star review on your favorite platform form, I would be so jazzed. And it really does help out the show and get this into the ears of more listeners. It helps all of us evolve and grow because I hope that this show is bringing you back to you and it is igniting you in the direction of your purpose, in the direction of your joy and giving you a little bit more clarity in your life. And what a gift if someone so many more people in this world were doing that. So I'll see you Thursday. I'm so grateful for you and have a beautiful rest of your day. Thank you so much for tuning in today. If you're ready to get unstuck and on with a joyful life, you're ready to be magnetically you in life, relationships, business and everything in between. I invite you to apply for coaching together. It all starts with a clarity call. If you thought this was magic, get ready to blow your mind through your own possibilities. Apply for coaching at megansemens. Com Coaching.