Are you in the abundance trap?

Hello. Hello, my friends. Welcome back to The Clarity Corner Season 3. Ish. This is like that teaser episode in between the new season of your favorite show coming out. Again, I feel like that's what they did with Outlander. It wasn't really a teaser episode, but they did that like part one, part two of the last season. Anyways, that's what this is. There's some big changes coming to the show soon, but I was feeling super inspired because this week in back to you, we doing our quarterly workshop and it's all about the topic of wealth. And this is it's definitely a concept that a lot of my clients desire some work around. So it's a topic that comes up quite a bit in sessions and is also something I've personally just had a really big journey with. And so as I was kind of free writing the outline, my own wealth story was really present and I didn't want to include my entire wealth story in the workshop. While I think the power of stories are incredible, there's some really exciting practices we're moving through and some other deepenings that we'll be doing in that workshop itself. So I had so much around my own story and also this new concept I've been working with called the Abundance Trap that I wanted to pop on here in this podcast and share with you all. So I think a lot of people teach abundance wrong in this space, and I think some of that is unintentional. I think there is some intentional teaching happening. I won't say it's from ill intention. I think it's more from a space of misinformation. But I also think there's a lot of unintentional abundance teaching happening that is creating what I'm now dubbing the Abundance Trap. And I do also think there's actually a lot of really dangerous abundance teachings out there. So we're going to go over the Abundance Trap today and how to get out of it. And I. I feel like whenever I pick a theme of a workshop, I kind of have that experience where now things pop up around me that wouldn't normally pop up. You know, that synchronicity. Everyone experiences that. It's like that moment you decide you're going to share something or you're going to step into something, and then all of a sudden you have like the biggest lessons around it, and all of the sudden you're hearing things that you weren't hearing before. It's one of my favorite moments and in a process of growth. And so in my suggested videos. The other day on YouTube, this financial audit popped up and it was basically this channel where it was kind of a cool concept. This guy had people submit pretty much from what I could gather. I, I didn't end up subscribing. I just kind of watched the video that was recommended for me and I'll tell you a little more about that in a moment. But basically people would submit how much debt they were in, what their income was, what their expenses were and he would quote, help them to overcome that. I put that in quotes because I don't know that I necessarily agreed with his communication style. But regardless, the episode that was targeted to me was a 27 year old life coach and I think she was about, it was like 15,000 to 20,000 in credit card debt. And gosh, I just related to her so hard. And I'm going to tell a little bit of my own wealth journey in a moment and you'll hear some of that in there. But he, there was this moment in the show where he asked her why she was spending so much when she knew she was in trouble financially why she was spending so much. And she said to be in the feeling of abundance. And this right here is part of, and maybe the biggest part of the abundance trap that I've been talking about. I think there's so much misinformation out there that if you just believe that you can make more and you believe the flow of money and you believe in yourself that more money will come. But that's actually ignoring some really deeply rooted conditioning, especially for women. It's ignoring a whole part of the puzzle when we talk about financial abundance specifically. And yes, spending can be incredibly abundant. You know, having that energy of spending on something new, spending on something you desire, your desires are important. And, and we are all wildly deserving of extraordinary things, extraordinary experiences. And, and I think the part that's missing is spending can be incredibly abundant, except when it's doing you harm. There's even cases where it's wise slash abundance. What Abundant, whatever word you want to put to it, to put things on credit cards and in the same breath drowning in debt without a way to get out of it is harm. I won't even go down the rabbit hole of consequences and things that happen when people go down this path. So in today's episode we're going to talk about all of this. We're going to talk about how to get out of that trap. And I want to start with a little of my own wealth story. So I, I think I I wasn't raised with an incredible amount of financial literacy. I think this is so common. Gosh, a part of me thinks that there's a small part of our society that doesn't want us to be the most financial literate that we can. I mean, that's maybe another rabbit hole we can go down another time. But I just didn't have. I mean, we don't learn it in school. There just wasn't a lot of education around me when it came to the topic of finances. And some of my first money memories were in middle school where we had to wear collared shirts. That was the uniform. It wasn't a specific collared shirt. The rule was just that we had to wear collared shirts. And you were only cool if you were wearing the one with the moose or the eagle on it, which is Abercrombie or American Eagle. This was back in the days when they had, like the big animal logo on it. It was like the big moose, the big eagle. It was this like status symbol, right? And I remember I had one of the moose shirts. It was this teal green. I think I'm wearing it in one of my picture day photo shoots. And I would wear it as much as I could. And the ones that I did get with those status symbol logos on it, they always had to come from the sale rack. And I want to just say, maybe relate to my money story in some way. We definitely weren't in a horrible financial situation. We. I grew up very middle class, and I'm so grateful for all of the opportunities and things that my parents offer me. And I now, retrospectively looking back, know that they were doing the absolute best they could with what they have. I have. I'm blessed and grateful to have incredible parents. And my middle school brain did not know that. And my middle school brain just wanted to fit in, right? And this concept of earning more was never something I really even considered. To me, wealth all the way up until I started my first business, earning money was just something that just kind of happened. You just kind of fell into it. There were, in my mind, there were people that didn't make money, people that made it okay amount of money, and then people that made a lot of money. It was just never something I considered that I could be, someone that earned more. Like I said, until I started my first business, and my eyes were open to everything we could create, if all of the possibilities of income that we could bring in and how we could. Back then, my thought was we could be in control of it and this was a especially highlighted and amplified when Andrew, my now husband, then boyfriend, was let go from his very comfortable corporate job. He had just done, done this huge project with the company and it kind of had these, I'll say, maybe unspoken promises of promotion, but actually when he got back, it was a trip that was, he was required to go on. They brought him in and because of the trip you were required to go on, which I won't go down all of the details, but essentially it was because there were a lot of people on strike. And so he kind of filled those gaps. And when he came back, they said, you know, thanks for everything you did. The strike is over. And unfortunately that means, you know, we have to make some cuts. And that moment right there just all at once had this realization of how much is out of our control and how much we lean on people to control our money. And I think that was when I first probably created the belief that we can't rely on others for our own financial well being. It was probably. It was actually a couple years later that I read the book Prince Charming Isn't Coming, which is an incredible book all about how women have essentially been conditioned to leave the finances up to their men. Up to a man, it's a better way to put it. You know, Prince Charming is coming, he will save you, he will rescue you. And conditioning has told us that men are better at finances. That is not truth, that is conditioning. And the book itself is all about how women could take, can take control of their finances. And it's definitely a recommended read if you resonate with any of those parts of my story that I was just sharing. And so all of this was kind of starting to anchor in these new money beliefs without me even realizing it. I guess I was actively doing wealth work. I think when you go on a path of growth, you start to open to this idea of abundance and you begin to open to the idea of money abundance flowing in in different ways. And while I was building my business and living in what at the beginning of the episode I said that lovely life coach that hopped on a financial audit said I felt like I was living in a state of abundance. And while I was building my business and I was focusing on more money flow coming in and earning more and being in that belief of I'm the one that gets to control my money flow and you know, no one else can control that for me. I was also spending, and I was spending quite a lot. And I was reading another book, another book, Shout out here. Get your, get your Book list. Ready? This is one I've shouted out a few times in the Love Letter and over on Instagram recently. It's a book I read very recently. It's called On Our Best Behavior. Amazing book. But I read in that book about how women are conditioned to spend. And this really goes back to, if you think about that very stereotypical like, like 1950s housewife era where men worked, men provided, and then women stayed home. And their sole purpose, a woman's sole purpose, was for the house to look good, for the kids to be taken care of and for themselves to look good. And essentially for the woman it was to be a picture of their man's wealth. And, and so conditioning was really anchored in. And this is a really dangerous conditioning that, that was probably the first time that was really amplified to me in reading that book. And it felt like one of those like, whoa, light bulb moments. I thought about all the women before me generationally and their relationship with spending and my relationship with spending again, all doing the best we can with what we have. But I could see that conditioning deeply rooted in, even if it wasn't still in that era, even if it was in that era of women breaking free and, you know, working and earning their own money and things, there's still that conditioning of spending anchored in. So I spent and I spent and I spent and I racked up about $20,000 on my credit cards. And I looked at my statement one day and it showed that if I only paid minimum payments that it was going to take me 26 years to pay that debt off. And that was 20,000 or so of me trying to, quote, live in abundance, trying to be resourceful. The abundance trap again, I'm going to define the abundance trap soon, but maybe you're starting to see what it is. But underneath all of that, what I was really trying to do was I was trying to be the little girl who could afford and have the moose and eagle collared shirts. I was trying to be that little girl who could fit in. I would say yes to things because I wanted to give something to that little girl that she didn't have. And this is the deep rooted conditioning that we often just brief past. And I'm a big believer. I think I've talked about it here. I talk about it in a lot of my spaces. I'm a big believer in. You don't have to spend an excessive amount of time digging into the root because I think that sometimes we, if we focus more on the future, if we focus more on forward motion if we focus more on solution, that will actually more often than not retrospectively find the root cause of something. The me reading the On Our Best Behavior book recently is a great example of this. I had already worked through all of the relationship I had with spending, but when I read that, I was like, oh, that is a generational pattern that was in place. I didn't need to know that in order to work through it. But now I know it and it's created a new level of growth. So I don't think we need to get stuck on the root. However, when we just bypass it, then we get caught in the abundance trap. And ultimately I wasn't helping that little girl that wanted the moose collared shirt, that wanted the eagle collared shirt. I wasn't helping her. I was becoming the adult stereotype who was actually just in really deep trouble. And I found myself not being able to cross certain earning walls. I would have really, really good months in business and then I would barely earn any. So what did I do? You might think this is the moment that I'm like, and so I changed everything. I saw the 26 year payoff and that was the moment I changed everything. But it wasn't. And I think that's often true in things that we're looking to shift in our life. I lived in the drama triangle for a minute. The drama triangle is essentially, I'll have to do another episode on it one day. But it's essentially a triangle of drama that we kind of tend to get stuck in that keeps us away from creating solutions. So the three roles in it are the victim, the persecutor and the rescuer. And so in this moment, in this phase, I was the victim who didn't know anything about finances, who was bad at math, who needed to be rescued. Even though I had read that book, I was still like, okay, someone's going to save me. You know, someone's going to get me out of this. I was still actively working on getting out of it. And I think, you know, I celebrate past me for I was never late on payments. I actually almost never paid the minimum payment. I was just in a hole. And so I celebrate the action I was taking. And at the same time I was still in that victim role. And I think that's a really hard thing to look at when we're working towards a point of growth in something. Sometimes we are doing forward motion, but we're also living in another role and that's keeping us stuck, stuck. So I was being that victim that was like I don't know anything about finances. I didn't have that education, I'm not good at math, I'm not going to figure this out. And then, you know, so and so talked me into buying this and, and then even being blaming myself for doing things. And then, you know, sometimes I would be the persecutor blaming coaches who sold me, you know, ten thousand dollar packages and gosh, that's a whole other topic for another day. And then I would try and be the rescuer for others, trying to make sure that they don't get into the same place, usually by getting my horn and blasting the story of manipulative sales practices, which, you know, is not okay. And it wasn't helping me in that moment. And my only goal in all of this while I was, you know, looking at this debt and of course I wanted to pay it off, but all I was thinking was, I just need to make more money. I just need to make more money. It made sense, right? If I make more money, then I'll have more to pay off. If I work harder, then I'll earn more. But it felt like I was hitting my head against this wall trying to work harder in my business to make more money. And I was just bumping up against not making more, not making more. But making more money is only looking at one part of an entire system of wealth. And again, I had wins along the way. I mean, this sounds like a very downward slope. And zoomed out, it probably was quite downward. I had wins along the way and we always have to amplify those. So if you're listening to this and you're like, oh, I'm in that downward slope, I just want to call out, you know, celebrate what is happening along the way. And that's a huge part in abundance, which we'll talk about shortly. But all of that worked until it didn't. And I still looked at the statement and even though I wasn't even doing the minimum, I was doing just above the minimum. And it was still showing that 26 years to pay it off. And so one day, after living out that pattern for a while, I decided this was enough. And one decision is all it takes for a change. One decision is all it takes for a change. So I stopped blindly believing that my business was going to make money. I stopped being in that belief of like, oh, it's just gonna happen, it's just gonna come in. And I actually got super clear on what that looks like and what I actually wanted. It's really easy to attach money Stories to someone else's money stories, because it's a very external ph result. And so I had to get clear on, yes, what I actually wanted and also how I was actually going to make that happen instead of just throwing spaghetti at the wall and banging into this trap. I had to take full responsibility, which took a lot of swallowing my ego. I had to take full responsibility of how I ended up here, not from a place of blame or judgment, just responsibility, and swallow my ego and make a plan that actually supported my wealth, not one that just revolved around making more. That was part of it for sure. And this is where the other areas of wealth come in. Because wealth isn't just money. Abundance isn't just money. That's just one part of a very big, beautiful puzzle. And so I started to consider how my time felt wealthy, how my relationships felt wealthy, what other things I was doing outside of trying so to make money that actually made me feel like I was in that wealthy state. And the reality was forcing through, trying to make money, forcing through, trying to pay off the debt, trying to work harder to make it happen wasn't making me feel wealthy at all. And so I had this moment where I feel like I almost looked at what if nothing I knew about money flow coming in was true? And this was really interesting. It's almost like, okay, what I'm doing right now isn't working. I feel like I'm just running up against a wall over and over and over again. What if none of this was true? Like, what if nothing I knew so far, nothing I learned was true? This is like bringing it back to the beginner's mindset. And it really allowed me to go, like, yes, back to the deep conditioning of, okay, you know, how did my parents and their parents and generations past, how did they earn? And what if none of that was true? What if everything I believed about earning in my business now untrue, and then it allowed me to shift into, okay, but what do I want to be true right now? And what I wanted ultimately was I wanted to feel ease. I wanted relief from that pressure. And that was my main desire. And I think we have to get to the core of the desire. Yes, making more money does things for our life. And it is true what they say, money is an amplifier. So in my case, and I don't think this is true for everyone, this is just what worked for me. But in my place, place that I was at, I found the most perfect, remote job that had completely flexible hours and gave me this real sense of Fulfillment so that I could still coach, I could still run my business and I could relieve some pressure. I do. I guess I should add a little caveat in here that I also, I think I started two or three other positions. I actually, and I don't talk about this a lot, but I actually tried to go back into an office, like an actual physical location. And I lasted, I think, three months. And I was like, that's not it. That's not bringing the fulfillment and ease. So it took me a few tries to actually find where I wanted to land. But what that allowed me to do was take the pressure off. And then it was in that moment that my business started to take off. It was in that moment that my visibility started to unlock because I was in the state of ease. And again, I don't think this has to be the pathway for everyone. It's just what worked for me to relieve the pressure. So I think you have to get to that core of your desire and then see what can support that instead of looking at how can I fix this money thing? Because there's too much pressure on it. So we need to look at out. Because if we're like, oh, I need to fix the money, okay, I just need to earn more money, okay, I don't know how to earn more money. And the pressure is building up on the other side of the money flow. We're not going to create solutions from that space. So what's the ultimate core desire? What do you want to feel and what's going to support that? And then I think that's why I brought up, I need to swallow my ego because especially anyone listening who is a business owner, I feel like there's this weird stigma around getting a job and that being like a dirty word and wrong. But if it supports you and if it allows you to take pressure off of your passion and it allows you to grow in a way you've never grown before, then it's a beautiful place to be. And I think most of all, in all of this, I had to bring it all back to me. This is when I really started to deeply get to know me. I talked about getting to know my desires, unattaching from the outside. All I was doing was trying to create external solutions. And that leads me to, and I think anyone to doing things like, oh, I just need this course. I just need to work with this coach. I just need to earn more money. It's all outside, outside, outside, outside. But I think the most important thing I had to do in this season of My life was knowing that my own spirit is the magic. It is getting to know me. It is getting to know my magic. It is coming back to self, back to self, back to self, back to self. That is what's going to truly unlock abundance in my life. And I change many, many, many stories along the way. I, I mean just to name a few, I definitely anchored into spending and buying and you know, gathering more things into my life doesn't show my wealth or my worth. Spending just for the sake of spending doesn't actually equate to anything about wealth or abundance. I started to anchor into. I trust myself as a business owner. I focus on serving first and money will follow. I spend, save, invest and earn responsibly and abundantly. This was an affirmation I actually wrote every single day. I talk about power statements a lot. These are like affirmations but connected to your own personal goals. They're your own words instead of just finding an affirmation out there. And this was when I wrote continuously on this journey, I spend, save, invest and earn responsibly and abundantly. And most importantly, I got out of the abundance trap. The abundance trap says I can have anything. But true abundance is look at everything I already have. And so now we're a few years out from this journey. I paid off my debt in 18 months, not 26 years. I have been debt free ever since then. I have not carried any balance on any credit card and I've still been able to invest in myself, get support, go on amazing adventures. I think I've traveled to, I mean definitely dozens of new countries since then. I've had amazing experiences. We had a debt free wedding. I also now earn more than I ever have before, so unlocked that earning ceiling because I took off that pressure. Sometimes my own checking account shocks me and I want you to feel this like if any part of you is feeling uncomfortable right now, if you're like feeling triggered by hearing some of my own wins, I invite you to look at what part of your money system is feeling a little uncomfortable right now. I have a healthy savings account and overall just monetary wealth feels really, really good. But I think more importantly, I know and experience wealth outside of just money alone. So maybe you related to me and my story at some point during that. Maybe, maybe you haven't spent yourself into debt, but maybe you do feel like you can't cross an earning wall. Maybe you're not even a business owner, but you feel like you haven't been able to unlock that promotion or be fully seen in your work, whatever it is. Let's really clearly define the abundance trap here. I've kind of defined it throughout. But the abundance trap is an overspending and overworking cycle masking as abundance. So the abundance trap says just be resourceful and trust that it will be returned. It's this creation of more, more, more. You're worthy of more. You can have more without an actual look at your own desires. And so it's just like this attachment to like. It's like almost playing that game of like, who can be the best. It's the 1950s housewife that is fighting to be a picture of her husband's wealth, which yuck, yuck. And overspending actually comes from a place of lack. Overspending doesn't come from a place of abundance. It comes from a place of lack because we overspend to prove we overspend to fill something missing in our life. Which then leads you to thinking and believing, if I just work harder, I'll create more money. So this is the trap. I'm going to overspend and then I'm going to overwork. I'm going to overspend and then I'm going to overwork. Overworking also comes from a place of lack. I just need to do more, more, more, more, more, more, more. And that's not how we're designed. So we're trying to create more, more, more, more, more, more, more. And at the same time we're trying to work more, more, more, more, more, more, more. So we're in this cycle of more, which is actually not the more that we're designed to experience. Abundance is being with, completely being with exactly what you have. And I'll just call out over. Saving also comes from a place of lack. So let's just look at the definition of abundance for a moment. So abundance is a very large quantity of something. It is an extremely plentiful or over sufficient quantity or supply. Spiritual abundance, which is more often the abundance that we are talking about when we're talking about living an abundant life, is a deep sense of fulfillment, peace and contentment. That coming comes from aligning with your higher purpose and trusting in the universe. It's not just that material wealth, but I think too many of us are operating from that like extreme plentifulness, the over sufficiency. And then we're creating this state of pressure. And while abundance is creating plenty, it's also simply amplifying what you have. And I think when we get into the trap is when we fall into that over, over, tendency, overspend, overwork, over save. And we get into a state of pressure instead of a state of ease. Abundance has a lot of ease. Another thing that gets talked about a lot in abundance and I think is something that can get people into a lot of trouble when it comes to money. Abundance is there's that talk of flow, right? So what is flow? Flow is the give and the receive. Flow is the ebb and the flow. Is there another word to put there? It's the up and the down. Either way, it's the give and the receive. And this is talked about a lot. And I think, you know, when we think about money, it's kind of talked about of like, okay, you give money out and spend and then you receive in your income, right? And if you give out, you spend, you invest in yourself, you let yourself be resourceful, you just trust that it's going to come back in. But we're, we're looking at the feminine energy without acknowledging the masculine. I think when we're talking about money and abundance, there is a feminine and masculine energy within it. And what's not looked at is where is your giving coming from? And this is where I think a lot of people get in trouble. Most people I work with have no issue giving. I'm going to spend, I'm going to serve. Most people I work with are so happy to give to others, even to the detriment of themselves, I'm going to give out, out, out, out, out. And it's actually the receive that's an issue here. And that's where we get in trouble, right? I'm going to spend, I'm going to invest in myself. I'm going to be resourceful. I can figure it out, but there's no actual look at, okay, how am I receiving in? There might be a belief that like, yes, I can receive in, but where's that masculine energy? Where's the plan? That was the thing I had to look at and actually set into motion and create. And so if we're just going out, out, out, out, out, spend, spend, spend, spend, spin. It's kind of like a river that's just going into a drought. And so where is that giving coming from? Is your people pleaser leaving it leading it? Is your people pleaser leading the giving? Which people pleasing I like to look at as. I don't know if like to look at, maybe that's a weird way to put it, but people pleasing, while we pretend it's a selfless quality, it's usually a selfish quality. Because we're doing something to make someone else happy so that they see us as a good person. It's to protect our own perception that someone else has. So if we're giving from that people pleaser state, that's not living in abundance. Are we giving from guilt? Are we giving from caretaking? Like, where are you actually giving from? Is it truly coming from that space of service? And the answer might be yes. And, and what I think is the really the most important thing to highlight here is am I only giving, giving, giving? Is it only going out, out, out, out, out? And what does my space for receiving look like? Is it kind of just like, oh yeah, I just trust that it can come in. But are you actually clear on what it looks like to receive? Are you actually clear on what that balance of give and receive looks like and why? I do think some people are actively tangibly teaching and living through some of these kind of trap abundance ways that I've been talking about, like sales calls I've been on, and I know other people have been on where they've been told because they can't afford something they're not being abundant, or because they can't afford something they don't believe in themselves. This is bullshit, by the way. I think there's some really great marketers that know how to speak to pain and money problems can create some very, very real pain. And so we'll give money again, out, out, out, out, out to try and get out of the pain, which only ultimately causes more pain. So I think that there are people out there that whether intentionally or unintentionally teach this. I think there are people that are delivering some of these things that get us into that trap, whether it's through the sales call or actual teachings. But I also think that all of this, the abundance trap, is just a product of comparison. Seeing people with seemingly more money and beautifully polished photos or reels or video clips looking very happy and then you just trying to place yourself into that reality. Why? Because money is an external thing. And so we try to create the external solution. So how do we really break this trap? Well, I think first and foremost we have to understand what true abundance is and then shift the stories we have that are blocking it. I pulled this quote from Deepak Chopra. It says, true abundance is the experience in which all of our needs are easily met and our desires are spontaneously fulfilled. We know true abundance when we feel joy, health, happiness, a sense of purpose and vitality in every moment of our existence. And so to you, my friend, if you're thinking, well, I feel like I'm doing the things like I'm believing that more money is going to come in and I'm, you know, spending and I'm trusting that it's going to come back. Yes. And is some of that creating pressure and what would true abundance do? I think it's Deepak Chopra. It might be someone else that says, when we lead with love, we create abundance. And so are your actions leading with love. And then I think we have to look at the stories that are blocking our abundance and begin to shift them. Again, I don't know that we have to dig into and completely, deeply understand the root of something in order to shift it. Like I said earlier, sometimes I think you retroactively find the block and sometimes that's better quote better when you retroactively find it because you have a whole different lens to look at it with. But I think some of the most common blocks that I see and I want to present these to you so you can look at if any of these are playing out in your life in any area is I can do it myself. So this is such an interesting one, right? Because we'll both live in that are arena of victimhood, of, oh, someone needs to help me. Someone needs to fix this. Someone needs to save me while at the same time living in, I've got this, I can just do it. I can take care of it. I'm not even going to tell anyone about it. I lived in that when my debt was piling up. I was like, I'm not even going to tell anyone about this. It's. It also had a lot of shame attached to it for me. So it's like, I'm not going to tell anyone about this. I can get myself out. So we're like simultaneously living in this state of victimhood, but also in this state of trying to be super strong and like, figure it out. And that gets us into the trap of, okay, I'm now going to overwork. I'm going to work harder to make this happen. And I feel like I saw that play out in my own life before the story I was telling you before. More so in my college, right after graduating college years, I was that person that would work three, four, five jobs at once. Just like, I've got this, I can do it in that overworking state, which for my projector energy is not the best state to be in another episode for another day. Let me know if you want a human design and abundance episode. But notice, are you living in that state of, I can just do it myself. I'm just not even gonna ask for help. I don't need help. I'm gonna trust that God and the universe have got me. I don't need help. I can just do it. I can figure it out. The other story I think I really commonly see play out in blocking abundance is if I have what they have, then it's an if. Then if I have what they have, then I'll be more happy, then I can live in more ease, then I will feel fulfilled. This is where that comparison trap comes in, where people might not logically be saying, here is exactly how you find abundance, but you're just seeing someone else live something out that you feel like you want without actually giving a full consideration of, is that actually what I want? Do I actually want the Louis Vuitton bag? Do I actually want the status symbols? Do I actually want the most colored shirt? And ultimately, for me, my answer is no. And I want to say, if those things are things that you desire, there's nothing wrong with that. To me, it's about getting clear on what do you actually desire. And for me, though, like brand names, designer things, it's not something I ultimately desire. Don't get me wrong, I love nice things, but. But there's things I value more in my personal life. And so notice where you're saying, if I have what they have, then. And really ask yourself, is that actually something I want? Is that actually what I'm walking towards right now? Get clear on your desires. Get clear on your desires. We're going to go into that a little more in a. In a second. The other story that, and this, the. The last, most common story that I'll bring up is working harder equals more money. I know this is probably one of the hardest ones to really understand, and I think one that takes, I'll say time, for lack of a better word, but it takes motion. That's a better way to put it. It takes motion to understand and experience. I. And maybe just borrow my belief for now. I don't believe that working harder means you're going to make more money. I think working harder can sometimes lead us to burnout. I think working harder leads us to exhaustion. I think working harder leads us to banging our head against the wall. And I'm not saying that earning doesn't take work. And I'm not saying that sometimes it's not going to be hard. Especially if you're a business owner, there's going to be moments that are really hard and there's going to be moments that you're like, why am I doing this again? I'm saying, look at where you're running yourself to empty to try and create more money. And it's actually not happening. The second way we break the trap, which I kind of already started to touch on, so I'll just stay on this one briefly, is to get really clear on your own desires, unattached from anyone else's, and come back to this continuously, consistently, because you are on a path of growth and your desires will change as you change. So come back to your desires often, regularly. Write about them in your journal. Give them life. This is where I create with my clients. I create what I call the lighthouse, where. Where are you constantly coming back to? I also think when it comes to getting really clear on our desires, this is where we can really start to see wealth in all areas of our life, start to understand that wealth isn't just money. And if I'm not only zeroed in, zoomed in, focused on money, where else do I want to experience wealth in my life? And then how can my money actually support that? This is where, for me, in my path, in my story, it made sense for me to find a very flexible job that worked really well for me while I built up my business, because it allowed me to take pressure off of my business, and it allowed me to not only pay off my debt, which was a huge thing, it was a huge desire that I had, but it's also what still allowed me to travel to dozens of new countries while paying off my debt, because it allowed me to be intentional with what I actually wanted to create, the feelings I actually wanted to create. And the reality was the way I was building my business and the offers that I wanted to have in my business and the ways I wanted to serve, they weren't unfolding in the timeline that I was envisioning for the things that I wanted in my life. Hopefully that made sense. I feel like there were a lot of words in that. But all that is to say, it's about getting super intentional with what are all of the areas in my life that feel like wealth, and how can money simply support that? And then the third way to break the trap, the abundance trap, is really discovering and letting it work in its full flow. So money in its full flow is going to have earning, so money coming in, it's going to have spending, so money going out, it's going to have saving, so reserves for those times that maybe the flow is going out a little bit. More or maybe reserves for a future time of your life. It's also going to have investing. So where's your money growing? How is your money growing? So spend, earn, save, invest. Notice where a lot of your focus is right now and notice how the full system can be in support. So with that my friends, we'll come to a close on our Abundance talk. I hope this was so supportive for you and I would love to hear from you today because this is a topic that I'm feeling really passionate about recently. So if this was super supportive from you, maybe we'll create a whole abundance series here and unfold a few more pieces of the abundance trap and action steps that you can take. For my friends that are in back to you, we are going into a deep dive workshop on this topic this week and we'll be doing an energetic practice tuning into our full money flow system and we'll also be moving through some tangible exercises to start to shift those blocks. If you would like to join us for that, I definitely invite you to back to you. It's such an incredible space and I'll leave the details for that in the show notes. And if you just want to come join us for a little bit of a taste and just join us for this workshop, send me a message and I'll have a secret invite link for you. Just to be fully transparent, the workshop will have a cost. Our back to you members are paying members to be in this space and so it feels like a fair energetic exchange. If you're going to join this workshop for there to be a spend on that and you can come join us for just the one workshop, see a few love back to you and you want to hang out with us a little bit more. It'll be a bit of a taste that you can get. It'll be a fun one. So my friends, may you know that you are so completely abundant. May you start to see all of the ways that abundance already in your life, that it's already playing out and that there's nothing for you to prove. You don't have to do excess in order to make it happen. There's so much magic in your life and most of all may you remember that you are the magic, your spirit is the magic and the gifts that you have within you are designed to attract abundance. And so I hope more than anything that you know and remember that deeply and I'll see you or I guess I'll not see you. I'll be with you in the earwaves again soon. Thank you so much for tuning in today. If you're ready to get unstuck and on with a joyful life, you're ready to be magnetically you in life, relationships, business and everything in between. I invite you to apply for coaching together. It all starts with a clarity call. If you thought this was magic, get ready to blow your mind through your own possibilities.