Finding Your Purpose In A Transition with Angela

Foreign.

Corner, where you'll discover how to unlock and express the most authentic version of you and realize that this is exactly what you were looking for the entire time. I'm your host and your coach, Megan Siemens. Now let's make some magic happen. I'm so excited to bring you today's episode, which is a a unedited coaching session with a beautifully courageous soul who is opening up their heart and their vulnerability to share what's going on in life. And I just find, you know, I've been in the coaching world since 2016, and every time I hear someone else coach, I just find so much power in it. Whether it's the exact message that I needed to hear or just seeing that zoomed out perspective of seeing something a different way. There's just so much magic in witnessing the process of coaching. And so I'm just celebrating everyone who is stepping into these on air coaching sessions and I can't wait to hear your thoughts, thoughts on these. So every week on the Clarity Corner podcast, we will have two episodes. One will be that unedited coaching session that I'm talking about, and the other will be an interview with someone who is fantastically living in alignment on their clear path. And so today we have Angela for a coaching session, and we'll be coaching through the big old question around purpose. Angela is going to explore with me a spot of a weird but good transition and what it means to just let herself be in this transition. So if you've ever been stuck in the definition of purpose or figuring out what your purpose is in life, or if you've ever felt like I want to have all of the answers, but also, I know it's okay to not have all of the answers, but I can't stop feeling that pressure of needing to know all of the answers. Um, I'm sure no one has ever felt like that before. Right. I say that with my own hand raised in knowing that feeling very well. And so I hope you enjoy this coaching session today with Angela. All right. Hello, Angela, and welcome to the Clarity Corner.

Hi. I'm so excited to be here.

I'm so excited, too. What's your question? Or where do you need some clarity today?

So I feel like I am in a weird but good transitional place in my life right now.

Okay.

I feel like, yeah, I just feel kind of lost. I feel like I don't really know what my purpose is. I feel like I don't really know what I'm supposed to be doing. And I know sometimes that's good. And Sometimes it's good to just lean into that and kind of see what happens. But I also have trouble with that because I want to know, like, well, what does that mean? What should I be doing? Should I be doing something else? And so I think that that is. That's a big. That's a big thing for me right now. So I would like any guidance that you have to offer, any suggestions to kind of help me navigate this new era.

I love that word era. Yeah. Tell me a little bit more. Like, tell me some. Is there a specific transition that's recently started to unfold?

Yeah. So I have had my small business for almost 10 years, and, you know, selling vintage clothes and selling vintage accessories has been. Has brought me so much joy over those years. And especially moving to Florida from Ohio, I felt like I have created such an amazing community here in Orlando. And I'm so thankful for that because I feel like I wouldn't be where I am today if I didn't have those people in my life. And a lot of these people, I have still had contact with you. You're one of them. I wouldn't have met you if I wouldn't have gone to one of those networking meetings. I'm just. I'm so thankful for that group of amazing creators that have taught me so much.

Yeah.

And so that is a really big part of. Of what I do and why I do it. And I feel like I'm at a place now that it just doesn't bring me as much joy as it once did. It almost feels like a chore or something that I have to do. And I've been. I would say the pandemic also changed things a little bit, too. Just the way that people were going out and doing things, and just the way that people are choosing to spend their money. Everything's different. Everything feels different now. And that's not bad. That's not. It doesn't mean anything. It doesn't have to mean anything negative. It's just different. Yeah. And I think it changed a lot of people's lives in a lot of ways. And so I feel like it changed mine as well. And I feel like it kind of put me into focus of what do I really want? What do I really want to do? Yeah. And so I've tried to go down different avenues of just, you know, should I focus more on styling? Should I focus more on. I started doing mystery boxes where I would send out a questionnaire and people would fill it out. And I had fun with those for a while. But Then I started to get them, and I was like. I was just really stressed about them because I'm like, what if this person doesn't like it? Or what if this isn't good enough?

Or.

And so, yeah, I just feel like I have taken a step back, and I did my last market that I plan on doing for a while until I feel inspired to do another one. And it was amazing. And everybody came out, everybody showed up, and I had such a great day, and I'm so thankful for that. And I feel like now is my chance to dabble into new things, new hobbies, getting back into just things for mental health. I feel like I've neglected a lot of things for myself. Yeah. Over the past 10 years. And that's, you know, my relationship with my husband, relationship with myself, just, you know, even friendships and stuff. It's been hard because I've been busy, focused on that. So taking a step back is also scary because I don't have that as a crutch anymore. So I kind of have to open up space for these new things, and that's scary. And it feels different. And I'm like, oh, I don't know if I'm doing this right. I don't know if there's a right way. And so, yeah, it just feels. It just feels really weird right now.

Yeah. Yeah. I really honor. You actually have a lot of clarity in the transition, and I just really honor to, like, your ability to notice all of the contrasts here. Like, you're like, it's weird, but it's good. It's different, but that's okay. And I just really want to honor that because that's such a gift, to be able to see both of those contrasts. And while that feels like a confusing point, that's probably going to be a really, really great tool for you to have in this transition as well. So let's zoom in a little bit on the weird, the scary aspect of it. So what are you making this transition mean about you?

I think it is all about just getting to know myself again. So I feel like with any other relationship, any other job, or any other thing that you do for an extended period of time, I feel like that kind of becomes your focus, and that's what you do, and that's what you know, and that's what's familiar. And so I think by taking this step back, it's kind of giving me this opportunity to get to know myself in a different way. I'm not the same person I was when I started this 10 years ago, I'm a different person. And so what does that mean? What does that look like? How do I embrace this new person? How do I love this new person? I've always had issues with self love and self worth and just finding value in myself as a person. And so, you know, I've been introducing yoga on a daily basis. Every morning for the past three months, I've been taking time to get up, and whether it's five minutes, whether it's 20 minutes, I do a yoga practice. And I feel like that has been really grounding and helpful, but that's an area that I am just now starting to explore. It's something that's new for me. And so I think that's a big part of just getting to know myself again. And, yeah, it's weird.

Yeah. So I'm curious, what is weird or scary about that?

Well, I think for me, I have never really known myself or taken the chance to really get to know myself that well. I feel like I've always kind of just filled my life with things to keep me busy. So I never really had to sit with myself and sit in that silence and quietness and be like, what do you really want? What do you need? What do you like, you know, what do you think is, like, what feels right for you? And I've never really asked myself those questions before. And so now that I've taken a step back and I've got some extra time and I'm making extra time, I'm asking myself those questions. And sometimes I think I don't even know where to start or even how to answer them. And so I think I feel like I'm like, it's like an assignment. I'm like, oh, well, I'm not doing it right, or, oh, I should have all the answers, but why don't I have all the answers? And I think it's just a. It's just a strange feeling because it's new. And I've never really done that. And I think that that is. That's why it's weird. It's just a new thing. And I'm like, oh, is this. Is this right? And I know there's not right a right or wrong way to do it, but. But that perfectionist in me is like, but you're not doing it right. You could probably be doing it better. So, yeah. Yeah.

So what do you feel like you need to hear when it comes to how you're quote unquote, doing this? And we're gonna. We're gonna talk about that doing aspect. But what do you feel like you need to hear in all of this?

So I am really big on validation. And so that is something that I enjoy hearing. That is something that I need, and that's something that I really. I've realized recently that I need. And I think that just that validation and that encouragement that I am doing what's right for me or doing what's best for me or doing what's needed for me at the time is really important. Yeah. Because I feel like you just. I don't know, just sometimes just little words of encouragement be like, hey, you're on the right track. You're doing a great job. That's like, that means everything. And so I feel like I could also use some guidance on just more activities or more things I could be doing to help lean into that a little bit more.

Yeah. So I'm curious. I want to come back to the doing part now because even in that, like, what are more activities I can be doing, what are more things I can be doing? And the ultimate thing you want here is to get to know you and your being. And it feels like you mentioned earlier, like, I've always just been busy. I've always had something to do, always. And so I'm curious if your activity of doing can be more being. And like, what if you didn't have a to do list? What if you didn't have a list of things to pull from?

I mean, that would be so brand new to me because I literally work off a to do list every day. I have things to do. I've. I've had. So I recently saw a journal prompt. I don't know if it was somewhere on Instagram or online somewhere, but I. It was asking, like, if you had a perfect day, what would that look like? What would that be? What would that look like for you? And my perfect day never has a to do list. My perfect day is never busy. It's me getting up and laying in bed all day and reading and not having anywhere I have to go, not having anywhere that I have to dress up for. If I want to put on a cute outfit for myself, I can. But it's just like that, taking that easiness and carrying that with you. And I feel like I'm really guilty of taking my days off and being like, oh, I clean the bathroom and I've got to go to this appointment and I've got to do all these things. And then so I never really get a chance. Or maybe I get like a very small portion of my day that's just for me. And then I end up, like, just scrolling, you know, Instagram or scrolling TikTok or doing something else because I, like, want to just disassociate because I'm overwhelmed. It's like, it's very. It's hard for me to be still. And, you know, as a. As a kid, I know especially that wasn't something that was encouraged. It was like, you need to be busy. You need to stay, you know, find something to do. No sitting around. And so I think that that also is partially, you know, ingrained a little bit into me. Not that I can't change that or not that I can't say, hey, you know what? I don't have to do that. My worth is not dependent on my busyness. But it is hard. It's something that I have to. I would have to actively work at to just be.

Yeah, yeah. And I hear you on, like, your adult brain knowing, like, well, it doesn't have to be this way, but it's almost like there's still a part of little you in there that's like. But. But to get that validation that I desire, to get that encouragement, to get that, like, you're doing a great job, like, I have to be doing something. And so while your adult brain is like, well, I know this isn't true. There's still that little part of you that's like, but. But this is. This is how it's supposed to be. So let's just talk to that. That little. That little kid, you, the little Angela, for a moment. How does that feel? Does that feel okay?

Yeah, it's. It's definitely like, an emotional spot for me. That's something else that I have been doing a lot of. It's just as simple as, like, dressing for my inner child or buying things. Yeah. That I would love. You know, I'm like, oh, yeah. I recently did. I made, like, a charm necklace with all these charms on it that I felt like I would have loved as a kid. And it was so fun, and it was such a fun activity, and it's just, you know, leaning into those things that I would have enjoyed. And. Yeah. You know, I think. Yeah. Talking to little Angela, letting her know, like, hey, it's okay to sit still. It's okay to just be. You don't have to be doing something. You don't have to be busy. You can just exist. Simply exists.

Yeah. And tell me, like, what was little Angela like? Like, in her essence.

She was very, I think, quirky. Is a good word.

I love it.

I kind of just so I. I loved. Even as a kid, I loved dressing up and wearing really. I would wear the most ridiculous. Like, I'd wear like, cowgirl boots and like a really fluffy tulle skirt and like rhinestone T shirts, a headband, all the accessories. I always did my nails, like, my fake nails. I would always them myself and paint them and glue them on. And I was just really extra. And I just. I loved. That's just who I was. But it was also really shy and really quiet. And that was like a way for me to show my personality was kind of through, like an outward appearance in a way. And yeah, I, you know, I still loved cats like I do. So, you know, animals have always been a big part of my life and. Yeah, but, yeah, she was. She was cute and fun and, you know, I had just a very few select friends, which is still true today. You know, I never had the large friend group as a child, and I don't have one now. And I'm very thankful for that because I feel like I've really honed in on people that are close to me and important to me. And that's something that I'm really thankful for because that's not an easy thing to do. It's not easy to find people that you can surround yourself with, you know, easily.

So, yeah, I love that it's such a clear picture. I can tell that you really consciously do work with your inner child and you've really gotten to know her. And so I'm curious if we can just take a moment and just sit with her. So maybe either close your eyes or do a soft gaze down, whichever one feels good for you. And maybe even like placing your hands on your heart for a moment and taking a deep breath. And in your mind's eye, whether you see it or sense it or just know it, notice you in the present day face to face with little you. Do you feel like you can see or sense that?

Yeah, absolutely. Yeah.

It's just.

It brings up so many emotions in, like, a good way.

Yeah.

Like, I feel like I'm definitely healing. Healing that part of myself. And I have been actively for, you know, probably the past year or so. Yeah.

So stay there and just notice the two of you face to face and really honor the emotion that's coming through. Honoring the emotion that has messages. And so I'm curious, from present day, you, what does little girl, you need to know? What would you like to tell her?

I think the biggest thing that I would want to tell her is that she has value and she has worth, and she is so amazing, and she is capable of doing anything. And I don't know, I just want to be, like, her biggest cheerleader because I feel like that's what she needs. She needs someone to, you know, know that they're there for her, support her, encourage her. So that's. That's definitely the kind of feelings that come up. Yeah.

Yeah. Just taking a breath there. And now Little you seems like she has tons of wisdom with her quirkiness and her dressing up. And even though she's shy and quiet, I have this sense that she just, like, knows things. So I feel like if she had a message for you, it might be a little message around purpose. It might not. But is there anything you feel like Little you has wisdom for you? Today?

I feel like she would be so incredibly proud and so excited and, I don't know, happy. When I started selling vintage clothes, I was like, my little. Little self would be like, wow, like, that's the coolest job ever. Get to do that. And so, yeah, I just feel like it's. It's definitely centered around purpose. It's definitely centered around just knowing that, like, she already thinks that I'm super cool and she's proud of me, and she is very supportive and excited for what's next. And I think that just having that. Knowing that I'm capable of what's next as well, you know, little Angela is capable of anything, and present day Angela is capable of anything as well. So, you know, it's. Although it's scary on this new era, it doesn't have to be a bad thing. It doesn't have to be anything that, you know, is. Is weird. I can just lean into it and know that it'll be okay. Yeah. Yeah.

That right there. So just take a breath and just remember those words of, I am capable of what's next. And although it's scary, this new era doesn't have to be weird. I can just lean into it.

Yeah.

So giving great thanks to Little you for popping in for some wisdom today. And on your next breath, letting her go off knowing she's always around and seems like a wonderful, wonderful tool. You were wanting some tools today.

Yeah.

So it seems like a wonderful tool for you to be able to connect with her, whether it's in your journal or in your mind's eye like that.

I love that. Yeah.

Yeah. So let's be with that statement for a moment. I'm capable of what's next, and Although it's scary, this new era, it doesn't have to be weird. I can lean on into it. I'm curious if you have some evidence, because our brain likes evidence. And as much as we can say these things and we can give ourselves the affirmation, our brain is like, AKA that. Like, how am I going to know that? I'm curious what evidence you might have that tells you that you are capable and that this part doesn't have to be so weird or scary.

Well, I think it's just anything, any. Anything in my life that I've experienced that's new or different or scary. You know, starting a new job or even moving, you know, to Florida.

Yeah.

You know, doing a market for the first time, going to a place for the first time, you know, not knowing what to expect, not knowing what that means, not knowing your way around. And I feel like I think about so many times when I. When I was in college, I went to a community college. And for a while I was in this safe, little, small building. I was in a safe little space. It was really close to home, and I would go there and it was so easy. And I knew my way around, and there was two hallways, and it's great. And I knew all the people there. And then I reached a point where in order to graduate, I had to go to, like, the main campus, which was huge, with, like, multiple buildings and stairwells and different people. And I had to drive, and I had to drive a far distance. And I remember the first day that I was there, I was like, I don't know how I'm ever going to be able to do this. Like, I'm not. I can't. I'm not capable of this. I can't. I'll never figure this out. And within, like, two weeks, I completely knew everywhere I needed to go. I knew all these new people. I did. I did everything that I needed to do, and it was great. And it was one of my. I still. I'm so thankful that I got that experience because I met so many incredible people through that. And I also just showed myself that I was able to navigate through that weird, scary change. And so I think that's a really good example because, yeah, at the time I was like, I. I, like, I almost dropped out of school because I was like, I'm never going to be able to do this. And then I was like, I'm gonna try. I'm gonna give myself a little bit of grace and. And try it and see what happens. Believe in myself a tiny bit. And I'm so thankful that I did because I wouldn't. I would have never have known that.

Yeah, I love that. And what a wonderful visual of. I mean, all life transitions. Right. Just like stumbling around these long hallways and stairwells and. Yeah. I mean, even that visual. And reminding yourself, like, we're just walking down the hallway right now.

Yeah. Trying to figure out where we are and, you know. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

So I'm curious, as you continue walking down your long hallway right now, if, instead of looking for the next thing to do, you can notice who you are, who you be. And even in these stories that you remember of times that you've been in the new. And it sounds like there's been a lot noticing, like, who you are in those stories, like, what are those traits, those parts of your essence that you so effortlessly pulled out about Little. Little you. And so noticing those in all eras of your life and what parts of those you're bringing into this new era.

Yeah. Wow. That's just really insightful. I'm just like, whoa. Yeah. I mean, I feel like I've always been really resilient. Like, I feel like I've always just. And I've been pretty. Pretty. It's. Even though I don't like, change. I mean, I'm a Taurus by nature. I like my. My, My routine and I like my things to be the same and everything has a place. And so there's like a part of me that is like, this is how it is. But I definitely feel like I am. I can adapt to the situation, and whether that's people or jobs or experiences. Yeah. I definitely feel like I am able to. To bring some of that with me. And just knowing that I. And, you know, I. I think that it starts with just believing in myself. I think it's just saying, hey, I know that this is a weird and scary time, but you've done it before and you can do it again and you can continue to do it. And I think that that is a really important part of it because I think if I don't believe that I can do it or I have doubt that I can't do it, then it's going to be a lot harder for me to actually do it. Yeah. And so, you know, I know as a child, I'm very independent. I've always been very independent. And it's hard for me to ask for help. It's hard for me to, you know, go to someone and say, hey, like, can you. You know, I'm really overwhelmed today. Can you do this, this, and this for me, or can you listen to me? I have, you know, a question, or this is on my mind, or I need to talk to you about this. And hard for me to be vulnerable. It's hard for me to open up. And that's something that I've also been practicing lately as well, is just when emotions arise, feelings arise. Talking about those, rather than just being like, oh, that's something that I'll deal with later. That sounds like a later Angela problem. It sounds like something I'll deal with, you know, and then it just piles up, and then before you know it, you are, you know, lashing out about broken crackers when it has nothing to do with the crackers. It has everything to do with everything else that's been stacking up for the past two weeks. Yeah. And so that's been really challenging for me as well, just to. To actually be like, oh, I'm feeling something. What am I feeling? What does that mean? What. Like, in trying to explore that.

Yeah.

And talking about it. And I'm very thankful for my husband. He's very supportive, and he's a great listener, and he always has been. And I'm thankful that I'm able to share that with him and we can kind of grow. And that's the thing, too. Like, that also that other. That part of my life, you know, my. My marriage and my relationship with him is also growing because I'm also getting to know myself in a different way than I did when. Yeah. You know, we were first married. So.

Yeah. And how beautiful that you get to grow together. And I just want to point out and celebrate how wonderfully you are doing right now with being open and vulnerable and letting the emotion come through.

Thank you. Yeah.

So reminding yourself again, I can do this. I think you've said that so many times in this episode, and I know you said the validation is really supportive for you, and maybe you even create yourself a little audio or if you prefer, visual, just writing down very specific statements around. Like, I can do maybe even re. Listening to this episode and pulling out some of your own words and putting those in places where you can either hear or listen to them from yourself.

Yeah, I think that's great. I actually just. I've been getting back into journaling slowly, and I actually went through my journal for the past couple of years, and I just picked out things that I saw that were common statements or things that I said a lot or feelings that I felt a lot, and just kind of picking out trends, things that I noticed that were, you know, common, and it was such an incredible exercise that I just did randomly. I was like, doing this and I'm going to do this. And it was so incredibly healing and so amazing to see what I've said and, you know, why I said that and kind of getting some background as to those statements. And I think that's a fantastic idea. I'm all about that. Because I think that that is. It's really important to hear it from yourself. You know, I can listen to, you know, affirmations and, you know, different, you know, you know, say, hang different quotes all over my walls, but unless it's coming from me, unless I'm saying it, it's just going to hit differently.

Mm.

Yeah.

It's so true. There's so much potency in our own words. And so, yeah, I definitely encourage you to re. Listen and then pull some of those out, just like you did with your journal. And I also want to point out how many amazing activities you already have for yourself.

Like, you're looking for more.

Yes, yes. And you have a full toolkit. And so I'll encourage you over the next week or so, as you're continuing to walk with this exploration, noticing those times that you're like, oh, I need to fill the space right now. Interrupting yourself, maybe asking, like, why? Why do I need to fill the space right now? And then just noticing, like, what actually in my toolkit wants to come through right now? Do I really need to go run an errand or would I rather just lay in bed? Like you said earlier? You're like, sometimes I just want to lay in bed and just like, read or just do nothing.

Nothing. Just lay there.

Yeah. Yeah.

I mean, that's. It's so true. And I think that question, why? Asking yourself why? I don't think that we ask ourselves why enough. I have been. I think I saw a video or I read something, or a friend of mine shared something recently. But that was also a really important thing, is that even in, you know, relationships with your partner or friendships or family members, you know, having conversations, and even with yourself asking yourself, why? Why? Why is that? You know, and really understanding, because I think that we're so quick to respond and we don't take time to really understand what we're responding to. And so I think that that why is a really important thing, especially for me, because I. You're right. I do want to fill up that space and very quick to be like, oh, I have to be doing something. What do I. What? What's what's next on my list? Rather than being like, what really wants to happen right now, like, what am I really looking to do?

I think that's beautiful. So what do you now know about your purpose and this transition?

I feel like there is a sense of peace and a sense of ease after this conversation today. I feel. I don't know, I feel like there's a little bit of confidence as well that is, you know, encouraging. It makes me feel like, hey, you know what? It is, it is okay. It will be fine. And just having those moments with little Angela and being able to talk to her and to see her and to know that she's like, hey, yeah, you're doing a great job. I think that that is also extremely healing. And it feels amazing. And so I feel like that's something that I definitely want to take time to explore. It's also an area that makes you really emotional. So that tells me that there's a lot of healing that needs to be done around that. And I want to take time to do that. And so I feel like I. I have more of a sense of purpose. I feel like I don't. My purpose can be to literally lay in bed and do nothing. That can be my purpose, rather than saying, hey, how am I going to fill up my day? That is my day. And I so admire. I'm very thankful that I have friends that do that. I know you are a really big supporter of being like, I'm laying in bed all morning because that's what I feel like doing. And I love that and I always admire that. And I think that we get so caught up in admiration sometimes that we don't feel like we're. It's something that's for us or we're capable of doing the same. Yeah, it's like, oh, well, Megan, Sheila's in bed till, you know, 11, 12 o'. Clock. But I could never do that because that's not for me. But I can totally do that. I can do whatever I want. And so I'm thankful that I get. I see people around me doing that and then just letting myself do that, being like, hey, I can be like them. I'm doing the same thing. It's been a great morning. Yeah.

Yeah, I love that. And there's more pieces of evidence for you that, like, this is okay. This is safe to do this. And the more you can exercise and lean into that evidence, the more you can say, like, this is me. This is what we're doing.

Yeah, I love it.

Is there anything else you want to voice to really feel like you've come to completion today with this question.

I feel so, so amazing right now. I'm so thankful. It was such a great way to start my morning. I couldn't ask for a better way to start my day. I'm like, oh, I feel like I can do anything or nothing at all.

I love it. That is a perfect way to start today and a perfect way to close the conversation. So good. So many blessings to you. Thank you so much for tuning in today. If you're ready to get unstuck and on with a joyful life, if you're ready to be magnetically you in life, relationships, business and everything in between, I invite you to apply for coaching together. It all starts with a clarity call. If you thought this was magic, get ready to blow your mind through your own possibilities. Apply for coaching at megansemans.com forward/coaching.