How to stop saying "I don't know" to everything: Self Coaching

Welcome to the Clarity Corner where you'll discover how to unlock and express the most authentic version of you and realize that this is exactly what you were looking for the entire time. I'm your host and your coach, Megan Siemens. Now let's make some magic happen. Hello, my friend, and welcome back to to another episode of the Clarity Corner. It's your host Megan Siemens here and today we're going to do something a little different. I'm going to walk you through some self coaching around the concept of I don't know. So if you've ever been stuck in an I don't know or if you feel like every decision you make the answer is I don't know or every question someone asks you, the answer is I don't know. If you consider yourself a bit of an indecisive person, I'm going to walk you through my I don't know formula so that you can self coach yourself anytime you're stuck in an I don't know and make decisions faster. So I'm super excited for this episode. Before we dive into it all, I am going to give a little quick announcement and I guess maybe like a personal update in the podcast earwaves. So I've been in projector mode all day today for those of you who are new to human design and I suppose if you're new to me, hi and hello. I am a projector in human design and projectors are designed to ebb and flow in their energy. They are not designed to be on all the time or to go, go, go all the time. And projectors can also easily absorb energy that's happening in their environment. So I've been in Atlanta all weekend for an event. I spoke on stage there. I met hundreds of humans. It was amazing. I had the best time and I almost feel jet lagged today. My energy has definitely been in an ebb and I've just really been honoring that all day today. I've just taken the day super slow. I've been working from the couch. I'm coming to you in my jammies today with like a very chill, relaxed self coaching episode. I'm just really, really hon this ebb of energy and I realized as I was sitting with this concept today that was going to come on today with, I realized that I've really been honoring and focusing on where my energy has been ebbing. And when I say ebbing I just mean where my energy is feeling a little lower so that I don't hit a wall of burnout so that I don't try to push through where my energy feels low, where my energy maybe feels at capacity, where it maybe feels like I might want to keep going and force through. But actually I'm craving space. And so I invite you to just consider, as you're hearing me chat through this personal journey that I'm moving with in my own energy. Just consider within yourself, is there anything that you're forcing through when you're actually craving space? And even though you want a result in something, what if space was the answer to the exact result you were looking for? And so, zooming out, I am honoring that ebb of energy in a much greater perspective right now. March is historically a hard month for myself. This is the month that I lost my older brother a few years ago, back in 2018. And for anyone who's listening that has gone through a journey of grief and loss, you might start to notice as time spreads out a little further, grief shows up a little different. It. I think grief is always hard. It has like, a different flavor when grief first hits. And then as time goes on, it has a totally different flavor and there's different layers that you're navigating. And so what I'm noticing recently in my own process, in my own journey, is how my energy tries to force through this month of March and how it actually wants to settle and be in this really, like, slower pace and not fill up my calendar and just really be with what is here. And so these are the things I'm currently honoring within my own energy and just inviting you to look at your energy and notice, like, what's underneath the currents. Notice what am I maybe pushing through? What am I trying to cover up? And what do I actually want to give my attention to, Even if it feels like it's going to take me off track, or if it feels like it's the complete opposite direction of where I want to go for, like, my goals and my visions. You know, we're still kind of in the start of the year here. Even though it feels like we're flying through the year as it always does, we're still pretty fresh into this chapter of 2024. And so we still might feel that energy of, like, new year, new ambitions, new visions. And. And what if you didn't rush force through to the finish line? And what if you gave yourself what you were actually craving? And so a quick little announcement and then we'll get into the episode today. I guess we're already into the episode, but we'll get into the. The topic today of The I don't know, formula, which I'm super excited by the way, because this is the first time I've ever shared this. It's a really, really clear and precise process that we're going to move to or move through. That is quick announcement is because I am gratefully full with work right now and I am really honoring that ebb of energy. I have placed all of my coaching books on a wait list. So if you are craving some coaching but maybe right now isn't feeling like the right time, but you know you are feeling drawn towards coaching. If you've been listening to the coaching sessions on the clarity and you're like, ooh, this is what I need to tap into. These are the directions that I'm wanting to go in. These are the possibilities that I'm hoping, hoping to open up right now. Or if you're just feeling that nudge of curiosity towards coaching together. I'll place the link for the wait list for coaching with me in the show notes and I invite you to drop your name in there if you are just feeling that little nudge of curiosity for whatever reason that it's there. I have a free goodie for anyone who's putting their name on the wait list as well, so you can be excited for that. And, yeah, I'm just super excited to see. It's always so magical for me as a projector to see who comes through after a projector reset and how the energy of the reset carries through into our work together. It's a really, really magical space. So, okay, that will be linked up in the show notes. Now let us move on to our I don't know formula. I'm, as I said, jazzed up for this. This is a concept I've been incubating for a while now. A lot of my clients, the beautiful souls that I work with, would resonate with being indecisive and would say they're just stuck in I don't knows. You know, answering questions like, what do you like to do for fun? With I don't know. What are you passionate about? I don't know. Answering almost every question with I don't know. And the I don't know it can be many things why that I don't know is popping up. I think the top two reasons that I see I don't know popping up as a pattern. This is not to say we should never say I don't know, I think I don't know or not right now are very clear answers. If you are actually clear that it's not the correct timing, but there's a difference in being clear that something's not the right timing and using I don't know as a mask. And so I would say the first reason that this I don't know pattern shows up is because you're not fully connected with you. And so you actually don't know your inner compass. You haven't trusted the answers that have come through in the past, and you're not even fully sure or certain where to feel into that. And so I don't know is just almost like a band aid answer when the reality is usually when we go a few layers deeper, you actually do know. But that band aid keeps you safe, that band aid keeps you protected. That band aid keeps you from exiting your comfort zone. And the other reason that I see, I don't know popping up as a pattern most frequently is a sign or a signal that you have been giving your power away and sourcing your answers from the external world. So letting other people answer questions for you, letting other people write stories for you, letting other people decide how you should live your life, or maybe you have just been checking boxes and not even necessarily asking people for advice or asking people for answers, but you're just kind of following along with everyone else, what. What everyone else has been doing. These are the two biggest reasons that I see people kind of caught in that I don't know pattern. And so just take a moment, reflect if either of those or both of those felt resonant with you. Because oftentimes when things feel resonant with us, that is the sign that we're ready for a shift. That is the sign that we're ready for a transformation. Okay, so let's talk about the I don't know formula. So I'm going to give you five steps that you can take anytime you feel like you are just completely trapped in, in I don't know, and you feel like you're spiraling and almost like you'll never get an answer. You're just stuck. You're stuck in the mud. Your wheels are just spinning. These are the five steps that you can take to get out of that space in a rapid amount of time. I'm going to throw in a bonus tip as well. So five. Five plus a star. Okay, so number one, first and foremost, if you feel like you're stuck in, I don't knows, let yourself be there. Let yourself really be in the. I don't know, like, just throw up your hands and surrender and be like, okay, you Know what? I really. I don't know. And what if that was okay? Because so often what I see with people that I work with when they are stuck in the I don't know is they're fighting it. So it's almost like you're swimming against the current. You're like, I don't know. And also you're creating this inner tension because you feel like you should know. You feel like you should have the answer. You feel like you should have certainty. And so you're kind of fighting against the current. You're like, I don't know, but I feel like I should. And so then you start to shame yourself. You start to have some negative self talk within yourself because you're like, well, I should know. I should know the answer. Look, everyone else knows the answer. And you start to fall into these patterns of comparison. And then I don't know. Rather than becoming this simple and at times, like I said before, we started diving into the I don't know formula. At times it's a very sovereign answer. It's actually a very clear answer sometimes. But instead of it actually being like that, it's become this big thing. And so suddenly your answer becomes further and further away because you've created resistance. And so the first thing to do if you're feeling like you're just stuck in this indecision and you feel like you're just stuck in this, I don't know, is to just let yourself be there. Like, I don't know. Okay, that's great. And then when you're ready, you can move to step number two. Step number two is one of my favorite questions. And anyone who's worked with me might have this question on repeat in their when you are ready to move to the next step, ask yourself, if I did know, what would I know? The reason you want to move yourself into this space is because this brings you from fighting against the current to starting to trust your internal world, just starting to trust your internal possibilities. I don't know can become such a trap, it can become such a trick, it can be your comfort zone, as I was talking about and like the reasons why you get stuck in an I don't know pattern. I don't know can be a mask, it can be a band aid that keeps you protected and keeps you from moving into something that potentially feels scary. And so this question, if I did know, what would I know? Opens up this opportunity for you to see past the mask, for you to see past the current, past the wave, and to start opening up to, okay, well, where do I begin? Like, where would I just start? And this is really the key element that took me from, you know, when I was in university, when I was in college, I changed my major seven times. And I was like, I just don't know. I just don't know what I want to do. I don't know what I'm good at. I don't know what I like, I don't know what I should do for the rest of my life. Because, I mean, let's be clear, let's be honest here. There's not a lot of people at, you know, 18, 19, early 20s that actually know what they want to do for the rest of their life. And for so long, I spiraled in the, well, I just don't know. I don't know. Why is it clear for everyone else why this is. This seemed like it was so easy for everyone else? And finally when I graduated, I started in what I call my experiment of yes. And I finally said, I did that first step. Okay, well, you know, maybe I just don't know. And what if that was totally fine and I started to create ease instead of pressure and figuring it out because everyone else was figuring it out. And then I started asking myself, okay, well, if I did know, what would I know? What would I try first? What would sound fun? What does feel like a yes? What does feel like a no? And that brings us to step three, which is to play in the possibilities. What if instead of trying to find the end result, instead of trying to get yourself to a finish line here? Because so often what we do when we're in an I don't know is we're like, I don't know. And you might know step one, but then you bring yourself to step 4:40 and then you're like, well, I don't know what's going to happen over there. So then you get overwhelmed and you're way ahead in your timeline. And so then you don't even let yourself play in possibilities. And so step three is to just start playing in the possibilities just for fun. There's a reason. It's the word play. Play in the possibilities. This is just fun. We're just giving it a go. It doesn't have to be permanent. It doesn't have to be permanent. And so just let yourself play in what you do know. Play in the yes. Just give it. Give it a try and see what you find out on the. On the along the way. Step number four is start to notice what's underneath the I don't know. And while this feels like it could be or quote unquote should be step number one, like, don't we want to find what's underneath the I don't know before we like start moving? The reason we put this as step number four is because when you start playing in the possibilities, when you start opening your mind to if I did know, what would I know? You start to see why you are holding yourself back in the first place. Your fears, your stories start to reveal themselves. They are not going to do that when you're in the I don't know because the I don't know is protecting you from actually knowing. And so when you can start to play, when you can start to open, when you can start to surrender, then you can start to see what's underneath. So start to realize what's underneath the I don't know so that you can start to move that in a different direction. And that piece, whether that's working with a coach or just starting to navigate that through any self practices you have, or starting to do research on that specific pattern that you're noticing within yourself, you can start to move with that freely in your own time. I know from working with hundreds of clients around the globe that if we don't uproot what's underneath the surface, then our patterns evolve with us. And so that's why even when we go to our next level, we find ourselves hitting blocks, hitting patterns, feeling burnt out before we get to our next level because we haven't actually uprooted what's underneath. And so don't underestimate the power of step four and consider what is underneath this. I don't know. And then step five, action catalyzes clarity. So often when I'm working with clients on clarity and my clients call me the clarity Queen, I would say I would be bold enough to say that 95% of feeling overwhelmed or feeling indecisive is because you're simply living in your mind. You know, I would maybe even be bold enough to up that to 99 to 100% because when you're living in inaction, when you're not moving, that is still taking action that is still making a choice. It is action that creates, that catalyzes, that sparks clarity. And clarity is not knowing all the answers. Clarity is simply seeing the space of what's in front of you. And the way you're going to get that is by movement. And so action is going to come easeful when you follow the first four steps of the I don't know formula and remind yourself that it is this action that is going to create more clarity. It is this action that is going to actually fully transform the I don't know to oh, I do know and I've got this. I do know and I've got this and I can keep going. And if I don't know again, then I can navigate that one more time and one more time and one more time. You know, I feel like I'm getting like a little bit of a giggle or a smile here because I really, I. I wish I could tell you that you'll be certain the rest of your life and you'll never face an I don't know again, but that is simply not true. I know for certain that you will face uncertainty and there will be times where you don't know and there will feel times where you feel stuck and you can move forward and there is clarity available. And there's actually so much clarity in just starting at that step one and just letting yourself not know. And so you can move through these steps in any timeframe that you want. I'll repeat the five steps again and then I'll give our bonus tip. One, be in the I don't know really be there. Two, if I did know, what would I know? Three, begin to play in the possibilities. Four, what is underneath the I don't know? And five, action catalyzes clarity. This is the process to move yourself out of any I don't know patterning. Now I'm going to give you my bonus tip for the day. Bonus tip to help you be to make decisions with complete and rapid ease is to get to know your human design type and to start to access your authority. So your authority and your human design. If you go to if you don't have your human design chart, you can go to megansemens.comhd-chart I will link that up in the show notes as well. If you don't know your human design at all, you can pull up your chart there and you'll see your authority just as a. It's just written text right there. It just says authority and then it lists your authority. Your authority is how you are designed to make decisions with the most amount of ease. None of us are designed to make decisions from our mind or from the external world. But these are the two places that we are taught to make decisions from. So we're taught to make decisions from our mind. Logic it out, think it through, get make that pros and cons list and all of these things are valuable. That is what your brain is there for. Your brain is there for logic. Your mind is there for, for processing things through. Your mind is also there to doubt things. And doubt is actually a good thing. Your mind is actually there to create the I don't knows. And it will help you stay there if you let it. And your authority in human design brings you back into your body, brings you back into your inner knowing. And then the other place we're taught to make decisions is from our external world. And I talked about that a little in just the one of the signs that you are caught in an I don't know pattern is if you are just looking to everyone else for the answer. And gosh, gosh, are we taught that in our society without even anyone directly saying it? You know, we're taught to move through the path, check the boxes, listen to the teachers who are just adults figuring out their own lives along the way too. And of course, as children we need guides and we need adults. And at some point along the way, it could be so easy to lose your own inner authority. And so your human design authority gives you access to tap into that. And so you'll either be sacral, splenic, solar plexus, or emotion, self, projected ego, projected ego, manifested environmental, or if you're a reflector, lunar, or wait for clarity. So one of these will be your authority. And it shows you how to access that inner decision making part within you. And as always with anything human design, we all have access to all of the energies. You might feel resonant with any of those authorities and you have access to that 100%. Human design is not designed to box you in or to place a label on you. It is just here to help you find pathways that create the most amount of ease. Authority was one of the first things that I found within my human design that made that light bulb go off and go, oh, this is how I've been shutting off me. This is how I've been shutting off so many different parts of me. And so I'll let you just have a play with that. We won't do a whole episode on authority today. But if you do want a full episode on your authority and human design, send me a note over to infoaganseemons.com and actually, while we're on that note, cracking myself up over here while we're on that note, if you did like this episode today, this solo episode where we walked through more of a process of how you can coach yourself through something, send me a note over there as well because I would love to hear that so that I can make a few more of these happen. All right, my friends, we will wrap the episode for today. I will go crawl back into my projector zone as I reset, recharge and rejuvenate my energy. I'm here to remind you that space, spaciousness, resets and rest are not rewards for doing good work. They are here for you to access anytime, absolutely anytime you need them. And you can have peaceful success when you surrender and allow yourself to let those things in. To let that spaciousness in is a success. All right, I'll see you in the next episode. Bye for now and keep making magic. My friends, thank you so much for tuning in today. If you're ready to get unstuck and on with a joyful life, you're ready to be magnetically you in life, relationships, business and everything in between. I invite you to apply for coaching together. It all starts with a clarity call. If you thought this was magic, get ready to blow your mind through your own possibilities. Apply for coaching at megansemans.com forward/coaching.