Living, Dying, And Everything In Between

Hello, hello, hello, my friend. Good morning, good afternoon, good evening, wherever you are in the world. Welcome to the Clarity Corner. I'm your host, Megan Johnston, your coach for today. Holding space for today, and I'm so glad that you are here. What are we talking about today? Well, really, I'm here as a little bit of a reflection. I went to a workshop last night, yesterday afternoon, whatever. What is Time? It was one of the most profound workshops I've ever attended. It was. It is called the Awakening and it is all about facing your own mortality, facing your own death, which is something that I'll say was maybe ish. I've definitely had a huge reframe. It's definitely. Yeah, the workshop itself did a lot, a lot for me that will still be unfolding. I certainly can't speak to everything that it's created for me. Because when we do workshops, when we do self work, you know, often we look at the instant result that we get, the immediate result that we get. But some of the most powerful results are the ones that ripple out over weeks, months and years after we do something, whether it's a single space or an extended container. And so this three hour workshop yesterday, I'll link Alua Arthur's work in the show. Notes of this. If you are called to explore this kind of work, highly recommend. What a beautiful, safe space. I felt so safe to explore these things. That felt really scary. But I digress. Facing my own mortality, my own death was something that was really scary for me. I'm. I've always been okay with the death of others. It's part of my story, as maybe, you know, if you've been here, you've heard part of my story and growth and in this path is losing my big brother. In 2018. I've lost many people in many different capacities. All of my grandparents have passed. My family dog, my cat, my brother, friends. I faced death many, many times outside of myself. And that part is fine. I'm very aware that I'm going to lose loved ones and I have a sense of peace with that. I have a sense of ease with that. That doesn't mean it's going to be or it ever is easy. There is just a state of peace in that. There's no avoidance for me in that. Whereas maybe for you, maybe that's the hard part. For me, it was my own death and it wasn't the idea of death itself, but it was the idea of who I would leave behind. And they read a beautiful essay by John Pavlovitz. Pavlovitz again, I'll link in the show notes. I'll put some resources for you in the show notes of this episode that was all about that, that one of the hardest things is that people will leave behind. And so much of this workshop was looking at what we left behind, what we will leave behind. And there was this beautiful part in that reading where, and I'm paraphrasing, this is not a direct quote, but inspired by his words, it talked about, you know, when you go, the stories that you so carefully crafted, the perceptions that you held onto for others, how you wanted others to perceive you, all of those will then be in the hands of others anyways. Think about that for a minute. How tightly do you grasp on to what others may think of you? How tightly do you grasp onto trying to control the perception that others have of you? But when you're gone, others get to choose that anyways. It's in their hands. There's nothing else you can do. And that was one of the most striking parts of that story to me. This is work I've been doing for years, reframing how we navigate the stories, the noise, what other people think. And that was so striking to me because, you know, I wrote this end reflection. I won't read my whole end reflection, but at the end of it, I wrote, my heart beats until it cannot anymore. And what a gift both of those are. It is true that all of us, everyone listening to the show, will be born and we will die. That is a truth, a fact for every single one of us. What we do in between is our choice. What we do in between is our life. What we choose in between is our experience. And that time is fixed. It's limited. I guess it's not fixed in the sense of we don't know when, but it is limited. We don't have limitless time in this human body, in this Earth experience that we know of. If anyone knows any different, please let us know. But this time is limited. And I think we can be limitless in this limited time. Our possibilities are endless. Our possibilities are vast. But I think that can be really scary that we actually do have limited time. I think, you know, that's part of why there's so much focus on limitless. That's language that's used in the personal development space quite a bit. And I've been pondering recently how I feel about it, because, yes, I do think we have limitless possibilities, but we also have limited time. And sometimes we can actually use limitless as an excuse. Like, oh, yeah, I'll get to it. Oh, yeah, we have so many possibilities. I'll get to that later. And then we let a different story win. But actually, when we realize our time is limited, that can be empowering in its own way. And I think what I'm really reflecting over this morning and inviting you to reflect over as well, is in that time, in between the beginning and the end, what do you want to be seen for? What do you want to be known for? What comes up for you? What's the first thing that comes up for you when you consider, what do I want to be seen for right now in this moment? And then what is the one story that comes up after that? If I know this is what I want to be seen for, what do I think about that? Just notice. What are the thoughts that come up for you? You know, maybe for you, maybe you are, quote, scared or blocked by the idea of what other people think about what it is you want to be seen for, what it is you want to be known for. Maybe, maybe that's you. I know that story really well. And maybe, maybe you're like, okay, yeah, like, when I'm gone, people are going to hold those stories anyways. That's great. But I'm not gone. I'm here. I'm here. And that's the pain. The pain is that you're here and you might have to hear it or actually confront it. And that can feel really uncomfortable. My curiosity is, what if it wasn't? Sounds simple, right? My belief is the more stable we are within ourself, the more stable you are in you, the more easily you can hold those stories and opinions because you know what to come back to. You know you. How deeply do you know you? Because in that timeline, I say this all the time. In the from the beginning to the end, the one constant that will always be there in your life is you. From the beginning to the end, no matter what, people may come and go, things may come and go, chapters will come and go, jobs will come and go, money will come and go. Everything will come and go. You will always be there with you on this journey. And so how deeply do you know you? And the more stable you can feel in you, the more easeful it is to be seen as you. You know, yesterday I realized I. So we did some breakout rooms in the workshop yesterday, and I think this was one of the first times that I felt safe to share my words out loud. This is something I've been working on for a while. Lots of fear for me around, sharing my words, my thoughts, particularly in Zoom Room breakout sessions. And yesterday, I felt so safe, and I realized it was because I knew who I was. I knew how I was bringing into that space. There was no performing or pretending. There was no trying to be someone else. I knew who I was and I knew what I needed to share. And I felt so incredibly seen. Not because anyone celebrated me or, you know, said I did a good job, which is previously what I might have been looking for. And sometimes that's great. I'm a projector. Recognition is wonderful, but recognition also comes in many forms. And I noticed that the way I was sharing was different than ever before. And the way I was receiving recognition was different than ever before. How safe do you feel to be you in all that you're creating and doing and all that you want to be seen for? How safe do you feel to be you in that space? I think overall, my reflection and invitation for you today is to take time to reflect on what do I actually want to be seen for, to be known for in this life. This isn't about your values or what you. It's not about like a bucket list of, like, what you want to do before you die. This is coming to you, coming back to you, knowing what do you want to be seen for? You don't get to control the stories that people have after you're gone. But if you're writing them now intentionally, instead of carefully tiptoeing on eggshells, trying so hard to not roc the boat, if you're intentional with it, then people will have intentional stories to tell. And so what are those stories? How are you seen? And then consider, what is the thing that's blocking me from that? What is the thing that's shrinking me away from this? I think this is one of the most important reflections we can do because again, you're coming with you every chapter. And in the end, you will be with you. And yes, there will be many incredible people who love you close by, nearby, maybe with you, maybe not. None of us can predict that, but you'll have that love. There will be no sense of loneliness. This isn't about being lonely. This is about feeling safe with you. Because you're coming with you. So I hope you spend some time with this reflection. I hope your wheels are already spinning in how this can serve you and support you. Speaking of workshops, I am hosting a free workshop scene, and we're going to dive deep into this reflection. Not so much through the lens of death. Maybe I don't have any death talk planned, but you never know. It's a powerful teacher. But more through the lens of the noise that's blocking you, whether that is external noise, opinions of others, or internal noise, fear of stepping into something new. We're going to be exploring that in this workshop. So if any of this did resonate with you and you want to go a little deeper into that work, I invite you to save your seat. Link in the description. And I'm so excited to see you there. And my hope, my intention, is that I hold space where you are deeply seen, even if only for 90 minutes. You feel so deeply seen and held as you. That's the intention of all of my spaces, because you are the magic. I'm certain of this. I have been gratefully able to hold space for hundreds of women around the globe. And what I can say with pure certainty is that they are all uniquely different. And the magic is when they come back to themselves. That's when magic starts happening in their life, things they didn't think could happen do. And I saw this to be true with my brother and his passing. One thing I can say about Kirk is he was always true to himself in the most ridiculous way. It's like some of the stories he told just crack me up. Like, I remember a story he told about working at this coffee shop just as, like, a barista and deciding he didn't like the colors of the walls, so he just stayed up late, didn't close the shop, and, like, painted them without any permission. And these were the stories of Kirk that. That was just him. He was just being him. And these are the stories I still get to hear. And I think that's the greatest gift we can leave when we don't hold ourselves back from. What are people going to think about this? You know, am I going to. Am I going to be thought of someone that I don't want to be thought of? What's going to happen next if I do this? Sometimes we have to think about those things. This isn't about not caring about what people think. I know. Confusing, right? But it's actually good that you care about what people think. It's about how you hold it. And sometimes we do have to think about what's next because we're living. We have a future ahead. We can't just blindly only live for the now. Even when we know that there's an end, that there's a limit, we can't only live for the now. As we live and breathe, we have to prepare for the future. Otherwise we could get in a not great situation should our timeline go further than we think it will. So it's not about getting rid of these things. It's about understanding how we hold them and holding them a little bit differently. A way that creates a little more ease in our life. A way that creates a little peace in our life. Because what is the point? What is the point of living this life full of stress and worry and guilt and fear? That doesn't sound very fun. All those things are going to come with us, but they don't have to be a constant. So anyways, I went on a little side tangent there but I hope to see you at the workshop. I hope this podcast episode was supportive for you as always. I would love to hear from you. Please do send me a little note if this resonated, if it landed in your heart where you needed it today and I will see you soon. Happy day my friend.