Redefining Success and Breaking the Cycle of Self-Sabotage with Mindi Huebner

Welcome to the Clarity Corner where you'll discover how to unlock and express the most authentic version of you and realize.

That this is exactly what you were looking for the entire time.

I'm your host and your coach, Megan Siemens.

Now let's make some magic happen.

Hi friend. Welcome to the show. We have a fun conversation today with but my friend, Mindy Hebner. Mindy and I are definitely aligned in so many ways. We have so much in common and I just love this conversation so much. So a little about Mindy. Mindy Hebner is an intuitive mindset mastery expert, NLP practitioner and clinical hypnotherapist who coaches high achieving women around the world to uproot the beliefs that fuel habits like overworking, overthinking and self criticism so they can redefine their version of success and grow and scale their business without constantly trying to out hustle their beliefs. Mindy and I talk about the power of understanding how your brain works and what that even means, what it is to understand how your brain works. She gives some really practical, grounded tips to to work with your brain to find out when there's a quote limiting belief standing in the way, what that even means and how to walk through it. She talks us through the symptoms of self sabotage, which are just so mind blowingly clear the way she presents it to us all and how we can move ourselves out of that space. We talk a lot about not having to dig into the root of what we're trying to solve in our life and how that actually can slow down the pace of our work. And then we talk a little about why New Year's resolutions fail. And Mindy gives some really great advice to take your mindset work to a whole other level and really step into a New Year's vision that's going to serve and support you and your next level. Mindy is an emotional manifesting generator with a 1:3 profile. And gosh, I told her after we stopped recording, you can feel the manifesting generator energy come through in her excitement, in her voice. And when her buzz is ignited, it is so magnetic, you just can't help but want to jump on board.

I just feel like the whole conversation.

I was just like, wow. Like I was so entranced. And that is the manifesting generator buzz. You're just like, I want to hop on board and I serve and support. She also has that 1:3 profile and that one is the grounded practical foundations, the research, the. And you can tell in Mindy's passion. She also has so many amazing she's like, clear facts on the things that.

We hear a lot about when it.

Comes to mindset work. But she's giving us the facts, the breakdown, and it feels like such a grounded approach while still having this buzz of excitement. And then that three, that experimenter vibration we've talked about before on the podcast, I feel like all of her processes.

Just have this story behind them.

And so I loved seeing Mindy's design just come through in this podcast episode. I have been grateful to get to know Mindy in these past few months, and I can just say that she.

Truly oozes the work that she does.

She lives and breathes it. So I'm really excited for you to get to know Mindy more and also to learn some amazing stuff about you, your brain, your mindset, and all of the things that you're creating in your life. And after the episode, Mindy's left us a beautiful free gift. So make sure you either pause now and check that out, because you just already know you're going to want to grab the magnetism that is Mindy. Or after the episode, make sure to check that that out. I have already downloaded it, and I'm so excited to dive in. So with that, enjoy the conversations, my friends. I'll hear from you after.

Mindy, welcome to the show. Oh, my gosh. We're already, like, buzzing with excitement over here.

Totally, totally. We've pulled cards, we've talked human design, birth charts, solve some world problems. Like, everybody better buckle up.

Like, in less than 10 minutes, we've done all of that. Like, I feel like hearing that I would be like, oh, they've been talking for, like, an hour before know less than 10 minutes, and we've, like, made all of the magic happen, so we're infusing that into this episode, too.

100. 100.

I'm so excited to have you here. I feel like we just have, like, such a love for so many of the same things. And we both hosted opening activations at our recent Mix youx Mind retreat, which was just really special to, like, hold the space with you. Even though it was, like, separate days, it just felt like we were holding that container together. I'm curious. I really believe in the power of that one single moment that kind of changes everything for you. And I'm curious if you had a one single moment that clicked that was like, oh, this mindset work, this coming back to you work, that's so important. So I'm curious if you had a moment that brought you there.

Absolutely. I would say it was it was a moment that, that then facilitated even greater moments.

Right?

Like, because of course it, it was the moment when I realized that I was absolutely burnt out and that this was not sustainable. And I traced that back to a limiting belief, like the mother limiting belief for me that had like driven me my whole life, which was rest was lazy. And so at the, you know, at the time I would have identified as a Type A almost 100 of my masculine most of the time, like check out the boxes, make happen, boom, boom, boom, boom, you know, all the time. And, and rest was lazy. And I found myself at a crossroads in business. My sales division closed and so it was time to. I had been massively successful, made a ton of money, went on trip, like did all these amazing things and, and the doors closed. And so it was then like, okay, now what? And oh, by the way, you are not doing it this way again. It was just like this moment of it's time to figure out how our brain works habits. All the things to understand how to not do this again because. Because we're not doing this again.

Yeah.

How did you know that it was a limiting belief? Was it just like, oh, I'm just like feeling this over and over or was it just this point of illumination? Like how did you know it's limiting you both.

I had been given a book on habits. The Charles Duhigg book, the Power of Habit, I believe it's called. The COVID is yellow. It's got some red in there. I can see it in my head. But I can't, I can't tell you exactly that book. I started reading that book I like. Okay, Habits. This is so interesting. What are my habits? Cuz we, here we are now. We all have habits that empower us and we have habits that disempower us. And this is because this how our brain works. We think a thought over and over again. It becomes a belief, it becomes an I am statement. It creates body sensations, emotions, and you create habits to prove it because you're that powerful. So that enabled me to be able to reverse engineer eventually, right? Like, oh, oh, this is what's going on. I believe rest is lazy. Therefore I don't rest. And when I do, I feel guilty about it. And I was like, nah, nah, that can't be right.

No more of that. Thank you. I think a lot of people in this cozy little corner of the Internet would resonate with that. I'm a projector in human design and a big part of the deconditioning process for projectors is Finding the magic of spaciousness. And I hear that rest is lazy thought all the time. So I'm curious if you could even walk us through, like, what that reframe process looked like for you and if that's, if it's like a copy and paste or if it's a little different for each person.

I, I, I think there's both. Both pieces. Some. So some of it will be copy and paste. Yeah, it'll be questions. The copy and paste will be questions like what are the gains and what are the losses? So this is akin to pros and cons, but it's a little different because there's gains in both sides. Like, this is what your subconscious tells you and your subconscious thinks in pictures and sounds and feelings. So logically, we all know rest is not lazy logically. And yet we are conditioned, as you so beautifully put, by things like sleep when you're dead.

Right.

Live, live off caffeine and sugar, which I did like those types of things to continue to feed this machine of you got to hustle and you got to grind. Do I believe there's a time for aligned, aligned grindage? Heck yeah. Like, there absolutely is. It is, it is few and far between that, that need to hustle because, because hustling for hustle sake, no good.

Right?

Like for me, I'm going to say for me, and I bet most people who have figured out that the hustle culture, the 247 grinding it out, that's a hamster wheel that they're, they wake up one day and go, who am I being? What the heck am I doing? So that part is copy paste. What are the gains? What are the losses? For me, specifically, rest equals lazy was protecting me from the expansion in my identity. It was protecting me from actually finding out, oh, could I, could I rest and be successful? Like, there was a fear that, that if I rested then I would lose everything. And that was not conscious at all. And that's what I got to though, right? Like that, that's when I got to the crux of it. The other piece that was huge for me is that my achievements were very much tied to my worth and value.

Yeah. Yeah.

So, you know, if I wasn't achieving, then I wasn't worthy. So also that limiting belief was protecting me from having to confront that lie and figure out how to rewire it and, and live holding two truths. I am worthy. I am more than enough. I don't have to do anything ever again to be worthy. This came stock on my model.

Right.

Like, this is Just the truth. And I get to evolve and, and I get to go after stuff and I get to achieve, and they are separate from each other.

It's so good. I heard you say on another podcast you were on, you said these words that, like, literally stop me in my tracks. I was like, yes. You said, you don't always have to get to the root of something. And I don't think that's talked about enough in this, like, world that we're in of growth and personal development. And I'm hearing that in your process that you're talking through right now of, like, you don't have to, like, dig and excavate and, like, feel the pain in order to, like, make the shift. Can you just talk to us about that concept a little bit more?

Yes. Yes. Sometimes we'll never get to the root. And, and, and coaching on one hand and therapy on the other, both are amazing. They, one is not the other.

Right?

And so you could do thousands of hours of therapy and maybe get to the root of something. And coaching. We, we go from where we are. We definitely, like, put an eye on the past and go, oh, wasn't that interesting? And then we go, and in the future, from now on and next time, and we decide to look for patterns of success to move forward for us. So if we can get to a root quote, unquote, in a decent amount of time, and I am talking about 30 minutes, if, then great, right? If we can trace something back. If not, it doesn't matter. What matters is right now and that you're reprogramming your subconscious with the pictures and sounds and feelings of what you now want, because that's the other piece, right? We logically do things. We use our conscious mind, which is 5% of what we do, and our subconscious. 95. I mean, those are general terms, but for all intents and purposes, so 95% of us is run subconsciously, like, just automatically happens. So we want to rewire that instead of trying to out muscle and out hustle our limiting beliefs with 5%.

Right?

Like, instead, let's go, oh, that limiting belief, Lame. We're breaking up. We're. We're finding a better belief. Like, come on.

Yeah, it can be that simple, right? And I feel like sometimes it actually can. Right? And sometimes we, like, try to dig and like, uproot things and like, and what is that actually serving here? Is it actually serving where you want to go or is it stalling a little bit? Is the question I'm always asking, like, is this actually helping Me like sometimes we find the root and it's like oh great, that's, that feels really nice to like see and illuminate but sometimes we're using it to stall us a little bit and I feel like this is permission to like just like put it on the shelf. Like it's probably not going anywhere.

You know you've reminded me that I love the question why? When we are in the direction of our dreams, schemes, plots, plans, all the juicy vision directed things. Let's ask why. Let's ask it over and over again. Why do I want to make, I just made this number up a hundred million dollars. I don't actually care about a hundred million dollars. I mean, you know what I. Why do I want this thing? Why do I want to double my revenue? Why do I want to have greater visibility? Why do I want to have a best selling book like whatever that is. You know those asking why there? Yes. Because then we go seven whys deep and we get so clear on, on the actual reason that we want it that we can cast votes towards it. It's so compelling that we, we will more often than not show up as the human who's calling it in. We'll take the aligned action. We'll check ourselves, we'll check the data, right? We'll do, we'll do all the things when we're asking why in the direction of what didn't work and what and all of that, all we do is tell a story. Because immediately when you say why, well why did you do that? Megan, the first words out of your mouth are going to be because. And then you're going to tell a very well rehearsed no shade story. It's just going to automatically come out 99.9 of the time. Because this is what we do. Like if you've ever asked anybody why that that is. Well, because. Why'd you do that? Because xyz, we don't even think about it, right? We, we just, it just comes out. So quit asking why because it's not serving you like it's automatic now and start asking what, when, how? What made me decide that REST was lazy? What kept me believing REST was lazy, not why. What. Like you get ask better questions, you get better answers. When did I decide that REST was lazy? I'm not really sure but I'm deciding that's not true anymore. How, how did that make me feel? Oh it really did not. How could I feel instead? Like ask a better question to move forward.

Yeah, I love that. It's kind of like when you ask the why in the directions of your dreams, you're going to go seven layers deep in your why. But when you ask why on the other side of the spectrum, you're going to go like seven layers deep into your story and then you're going to kind of feel like shit at the end of it because you're like, how did we get this deep here? Let's create a spiral.

Yeah, exactly. Exactly.

Where does self sabotage fit into all of this? Like, do you feel like it's. Is that essentially what you're creating as you're like going down the Y rabbit hole?

Well, we are operating in self sabotage and again, it's subconscious. We don't realize it. Limiting beliefs akin to self sabotage Protections they're protect. They're protecting us. Quote. Okay, I did air quotes everyone. Protections they are protecting us from. Yeah, almost always successful.

Right?

I like we. Because nothing's protecting us from failure like it. We're gonna fail. That's part of life and you can call it a failure. You could call it feedback. I was listening to a different podcast several months ago and she was like, sometimes just fails. Like there's nothing, there's nothing you could take from it. It just fails. And that's that. Move on. Like quit trying to dress it up like this or that or the other. So while I like to find a little feedback in it and I like to find a lesson and all that, here we are again with we don't need to get to the root.

Right.

Move on. Like you're allowed. You're allowed to move on. So self sabotage shows up, masquerades as overworking. Oh, I'm pointing the finger at myself. This was. This was rest was lazy. I overworked all the time. Over produced, over delivered. Because number one then I wasn't being lazy. Number two then, oh, there's that worthiness again. If I did more and worked more, then I could be more worthy. Haha.

Right?

Overthinking is self sabotage. That whole which is. It's separate from perfection. Although that is self sabotage too. Perfectionism that comes into play there, that analysis paralysis, that indecisiveness. All of those things when we stay in them are forms of self sabotage. Procrastination, Procrastination, overworking, overthinking are three that we probably experience the most. And when I say overthinking again, that analysis paralysis is in there too. The number one.

Oh, I'm ready for it.

The number one self sabotage symptom that the rest of them come from self criticism.

Yeah, yeah.

Think about. Doesn't matter which one of those other symptoms you take the ne like they will root back to self criticism.

Yeah.

Which is then when we self criticize. Self sabotage.

Right.

It gives us the illusion of control over our pain. So if we just talk ourselves, then we'll do it before somebody else does it. And we do it over and over again. Which then leads to the overworking.

Right.

Like, well, rest is lazy. Well, if you want people to recognize you and say, you know, that you're like, they. They want to call you in, they want to blah, blah, blah. These accolades, okay. To prove your worth, you need to work harder. It all procrastination, like all of them. You're not going to get it right anyway. You're just going to mess it up. Like you as well. There's. It's wild how our brain works that way.

Wild.

Yeah. Our brain is a wild place when left alone with.

Right.

This is why, like having someone in your corner, having an amazing coach like yourself, or, you know, having that support in your corner, it really does make a difference because it's a wild place when you're left alone with your brain. I find that you can just spiral back and forth so, so easily. Your mind can talk you into something and out of something so quickly.

So quickly. Those intrusive thoughts. And this is where we really. So in my work, I do a lot of helping clients with reframing. We do a lot of subconscious reprogramming. It's also recognizing, right. That you're the thinker of your thoughts and you can think of greater thought. Like, just because something comes bouncing into your head doesn't mean it has to stay there. You know, it's not like, well, that's it. Right. Like, it doesn't have to stay if it's not empowering, if it's not neutral, if it doesn't serve you. Because there's another rabbit trail that we go down is we give something meaning and then we never revisit the meaning that we gave to it. So boom. We habituate that that's just all the time.

Yeah.

So think about in traffic, someone cuts you off the. I mean, the first thing we typically say. And I'll keep it g. Right. Jerk.

Right?

We like.

Yeah.

And. And we give that. Someone cuts us off. We give it the meaning that that person is a jerk. Now let's pause for a second because I'm not a jerk most of the time, and I am positive I have cut people off. It was not because of My intent was to be a jerk, and so, therefore, I. It could have been. We could give any number of meanings to things, more empowered meanings, even neutral, because. Because thinking someone's a jerk, that's not really very neutral for you. It's still disempowering. It's still taking energy that doesn't need to be taken. And so instead, we could think, wow, they. They are distracted. They. Maybe they got bad news. Maybe, like, who knows? Maybe they're late. Maybe there's a kid in the backseat yelling, maybe. It could be any number of things. It doesn't have to be something disempowering for us. And so I say that to remind us that we get to change the meaning on things any time we want. As a matter of fact, nothing has meaning until we give it meaning.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I always say humans are meaning making machines.

Oh. Oh, I'm gonna steal that. Yes, we are. We. Everything means something.

Yeah.

And the worst part, I feel like, is we make it mean something about us most of the time. So in the car, right? We definitely made that mean something about someone else. However. Yeah, most of the time. Hello. Self sabotage. We make it mean something about us again. A losing illusion of control over the pain.

Yeah. Yeah.

Oh, I love those words right there. Like, this illusion of control over the pain that feels so potent to remind ourselves of, like, what we're doing here. Like, what the patterns are that we're creating. I was just having a conversation earlier today with one of our mutual friends, Jackie, and we were talking about holding events on Zoom and the stories we create within those events. I just held an event yesterday, and one of the things I have the most trouble with is if someone leaves and they don't say anything, and I immediately. I know I can feel it when it happens. I'm, like, this little observer of myself, myself. I immediately am like, oh, what did I do? Like, what did I do that made them leave the room? And that actually isn't the whole truth. Like, I'm not looking at the whole picture right when I experience it in that way. So if someone's in that. Like, if. If they're in that experience where someone's left the Zoom Room or whatever it is, and they're making it mean something about themselves. What's, like, a quick thing you can do to, like, bring yourself back? Do you have, like, a quick hit tip there?

I. I do. So the first question is, it is. What does making this about me? Like, how does that serve me? Like, how. How is making this about me how does that serve me? What's the gain? Here we are back at gains and losses again. Because sometimes we'll get to the place.

Of.

Well, then all the self criticism that I say to myself is true. So I'm proving myself right. If I make this about me, then I'm right. So this is a very. The work is so much about awareness. It's this elevated. My clients have this massively elevated level of awareness so that they can be the observer, like you said, as opposed to in the thick of it every single moment. They can. That. And, and you're talking about levels of mind here. So we talked about thoughts, right? Like thoughts bouncing in and out. Okay. Everyone has that. Like, that's. That's level one. Level two is being like, oh, I could think a greater thought. Level three is intentional directed thought. And I like to call these alchemized affirmations.

Right.

We actually can direct our thoughts in the direction of what we are desiring, what we are calling in, what we are allowing in the direction of those dreams and schemes. Right. And then the next level is this. Observe is like to be able to step back.

Yeah.

I go, oh, look at myself thinking these thoughts. Isn't that interesting, right? Like, isn't that curious? That is a very graduated, for lack of a better. I can't think of the word that I. That I want to think of there. That you can pull yourself out that way and do that without giving a meaning is beautiful. Like this, this consciousness level that we strive for, I think especially as, you know, again, I'm air quoting everyone, spiritual workers, right? Like, like we work in energy, spirituality, those types of things that. That one consciousness that, that we can observe and not have to give it any meaning, much less, you know, all kinds of meaning.

Yeah, yeah.

I love this concept of levels or layers. Was it levels that you said?

Well, it doesn't matter, but yeah, either one.

I love the concept of it because it feels very like stair step. And it's like instead of in the moment where it's like, oh my gosh, all these thoughts are happening. What's going on? And it's like, well, let me just like take myself one level at a time until I get to that observation and I can go, oh, exhale. This isn't. This isn't about me. I mean, maybe it is about you sometimes, but you can at least give yourself that moment to get there instead of like attaching all of the instant meaning to it. Yeah.

And if this is about me, like, here's my next favorite question. Who am I being and who do I want to be? Because. Because we. We've been, you know, dancing around mindset and talking about how our brain works and rewired. So mindset is our relationship with something. That's our mindset. So our money, mindset, relationship with money, our body, mindset, Right. Our relationship with our body, all of that. Our mindset is our relationship to something equally as important, yet not the same. Our identity. And our identity is our repeated beingness. It's who. Who we are being in conjunction with what we say we want. And so that's about identity. Right now we're talking about. About identity. Who am I being? And there's no shame here. Please, I'm. If. If everyone who's listening takes nothing else away, please take away. It's never about shame or blame or coulding or shoulding on ourselves. It's truly about curiosity. Oh, who am I being? And who do I want to be? Yeah, who do I want to be? Lots of times my clients will go, well, I want to be her. But right now, that ain't happening. Right now. Yeah, I'm in a puddle right now. I'm eating this ice cream. Right now. I'm doing xyz.

Right?

And I will move towards her again because I know who she is. I am her.

Right?

I am her.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

That's so powerful. So how does all of this. We're launching this episode around the new year, and, gosh, we could probably have a whole conversation about the new year energy. And I very much do. I believe there's an energy of the new year. Like, there is. Like, yeah, there's. You can feel the closing of a chapter and the starting of a chapter. I also think people can put a lot of pressure on that. Unnecessary pressure, if you will. And so how can our mindset and all of these beautiful concepts that you're talking about now support us as we're stepping into the new year? And we're maybe thinking about setting things like visions or resolutions. I know it feels heavy.

It does. And good. Like, honestly. So that maybe that makes us, like, think twice about it. So just to reiterate what you said, yes, there's an energy, and it's this really strange phenomenon because it's almost what came first, the chicken or the egg. We feel pressured to make these multiple goals because it's a new year. So then we do it, and then other. So there. So the energy starts going right. Like, we're. Oh, we're making multiple goals. Everybody's talking about new Year's resolutions. Well, I better talk about a New Year's resolution, right? We start like, like all over ourselves about these things. 90% of New Year's resolutions are abandoned within a few months. The turning at 90%, the turning of a page on a calendar is not some magic moment. You can create a new way of being anytime you want. Right now, right this very second, here's the mistakes that we make. We do a whole bunch of things. Oh, I'm gonna go to the gym. I'm gonna work out five days a week. I'm gonna go vegan. I'm never gonna put another pre packaged thing in my mouth ever again. I'm gonna clean out all my closets.

Right?

Like we go ham.

Yeah.

And everything in our nervous system goes, what are you doing? Because we are just slammed up against now the unknown we have. We are so practiced in who we are that when we want to make a change and remember we are enough and we get to evolve. Like if we want to make a change. Beautiful. Ask the right questions about why we want to make the change so we know that it's our change and not someone else's change that we think we should make. Hence people feeling pressured to make and set multiple goals know that.

Right.

And then side note, lots of times we also make, like I said, the goals way too big and we're just not wired that way. So back that up a little bit. If the goal is, and I'm just using this as an example because this is so many times a New Year's resolution, if the goal is going to the gym or working out.

Yeah.

Please don't make it five days a week with an hour a day. And you know, like you're gonna do all these things, like dial that back a little bit for yourself because your, your brain will like, it will stop you, you absolutely will self sabotage. And then you'll just feel bad because you'll talk to yourself about why you didn't do it, why you didn't do it. And so instead, like, what if you did the pre steps to that in, in the goal, goal setting, those smaller, more attainable ones. And again, this was about our known zone too. So when you're feeling a little resistance when you set a new goal, when you say, I want to start this new habit and I'm encouraging one, not a hundred.

Right.

If this is something that you want to do in this intention setting, goal setting, when you're experienced some resistance at like a 6, 7, 8, you're doing it. Bravo. Like this is you pushing on your known zone, and it's. You're stretching it. I know some people call it a comfort zone. Those of us in the know. No, it's not comfortable. It's not comfortable to stay in a place you don't want to be. It's just known.

Yeah.

You just know it.

Right.

Like, that doesn't necessarily make it comfortable. So when you're pushing on that known zone at a 6, 7, 8, go. This is. You are moving into alignment. That is that resistance is you moving into alignment. So find intentions, goals, whatever we want to call them in that space. Ask yourself, oh, I feel. I'm feeling some resistance. Yeah, that's a six, seven, eight. Okay. Mindy and Megan said, this is the spot.

Right.

This is the sweet spot. I get to keep going because. Yeah, this is moving into alignment with that next favorite version of me growing my identity.

Yeah. Yeah.

So it's like, finding that. It's almost like a. It's a bittersweet spot. Maybe I'm like, maybe it's not so sweet because there's resistance there. But you're not, like, feeling like you don't wake up the next day. Like, what was I thinking? Like, that feels horrible to go for that.

Exactly. So that resistance level would have been at a 10, 10 if you. If you were experiencing the level of resistance at its head, and then you woke up the next morning and said, what was I thinking? And just, like, a really ridiculous side note, I was like, that's why I quit drinking 20 years ago.

If you feel that. Yeah.

Yeah.

So if that resistance is out of 10, that is your beautiful opportunity to pause and take a breath and re. Ask those seven whys. Because something is off here. If you're at a 10, and it could be you don't feel safe. It could be. There could be a whole bunch of reasons in that.

Yeah.

And at that moment, it's a great time to go. Okay, what are the pre steps to this? What would the. What would the pre step be?

Yeah, yeah.

I. And I think pulling back something you were talking about at the beginning of that conversation is. And actually earlier in the episode, too, is like, what if your New year's resolution didn't fail? Like, I find so often people will be like, oh, my God, you know, I set this thing. It felt really good. And then, you know, like, a couple weeks in or a month in, you're like, oh, I totally forgot about that. And now you make it mean, oh, I'm a failure. I can't do anything. This is Why I don't set goals. And just remembering what Mindy said a few minutes ago, like, turning the calendar.

Doesn'T actually mean anything.

You can make this decision anytime in the year. So even if you're not listening to this in real time and you've caught this, like, a few weeks into the year, and you're like, oh, yeah, I didn't do that thing, instead of making that mean something about yourself, it's like, I could make it now.

These are my three favorite phrases to rewire your brain, too. From now on, in the future, next time, when we start using that, instead of, I should have done this, I could have done that.

Yeah, right.

The. And catch yourself. My clients are so funny because the. Because we'll be on a call together, and they'll be like, I should I. From now on. They'll just. They'll just stop. From now on, in the future, next time. These are your three best friends in rewiring your brain in the intentional direction of what you want instead of staying stuck in the past, which is over.

Yeah, right.

It's over. That. That doesn't mean you can't go, oh, there were lessons there. There were things to learn there that I'm going to take forward. And we bless and release that version of ourselves. Because she got us here.

Yeah.

Like, she ain't all bad. She figured some stuff out. So we get to say thank you from now on, in the future, next time.

Yeah.

And then step into that.

Yeah.

Another reason our resolutions also don't last is because we don't. We. We don't have a plan. We don't have a system. You know, we haven't figured things out. Truly. And do we even have the time to go to the gym five days a week for an hour? Like, do we actually have the time for that? And. And what's that going to look like if. If you're bent on, you know, setting a resolution or. Or a New Year's goal? As you're listening to this, I'm going to invite you to use something that I love to use and teach. And these are. We call them target goals. And I was taught these a long time ago in sales. And when I say target, I want you to think about a. Like a target. Like you're shooting darts or you're shooting. Or archery. Think about that target. So the bullseye, of course, is like the.

If.

If I. If everything is firing just like it's supposed to and the world is perfect, then the bullseye is my number. So, okay, maybe the bullseye is five days a week at the gym. Maybe that again.

Right.

The heavens opened up and daycare is working. And like, you got the best little workout outfit. I don't know. And then. But the outer rim.

Yeah.

That's the least you're willing to accept from yourself. So what if you gave yourself this? The least I'm willing to accept is two days. And the bullseye is five days. Look at all the times you're winning in between. Look at all the celebrations you get to have there. And then it's not just in the times where. It's not just in the days. Right. Because now we. We still need more of a system. So how long am I gonna go to the Gym again? Bullseye, 30 minutes.

Right.

And outer rim, 10 or whatever. I'm just making these numbers up. But when we set these target goals for ourselves. Game changer. Because we're giving our. You're always winning the game you're playing. I'm gonna say that again. You're always winning the game you're playing. So play a game that you can actually win. Give yourself the space to win. And there's a whole lot more chances to win in target goals than there are to lose and to fail. Because you're giving yourself this. This space. And the next thing you know, you're again casting votes more often than not to show up as the woman who.

Yeah, yeah.

It's like a.

It's an exhale.

It's a permission slip of like. I feel like you keep bringing us back to these, like, stair steps. Steps too. Of like, one thing at a time. Like, it doesn't have to be, ah, mass chaos all at once.

Yes, yes. I have to. I appreciate you so much. Your gentleness of holding my sort of craziness. Because I get really excited about this, about this work, about humans, about sharing the. Their limitlessness.

Right.

Like, I hold space for your belief until it catches up. Because this is. Yeah, yeah. And you just have this perfect. You're excited and gentle all at the same time. And I so appreciate that. Like, it's just a beautiful energy to be around.

Well, thank you.

That's.

That's a. A manifesting generator and a projector meeting in space who are both living very aligned. It's live in action. Design and operation. It's so good. I mean, this has been such a good conversation. I feel like. I mean, there's so many, like, side branches. I want to go on with you always, every single time we talk. I also want to get you a coffee mug that Says align grindage, by the way. I feel like you need that.

It's like I've ever said that word.

I mean, it worked. And I was like, that is. That is a statement.

If you. If you grew up in the late 70s, early 80s, you saw Pauly Shore, and that was. Grindage was a word that he used in a movie, Encino Man. And that immediately came to me. It was. It was hysterical. There are so many trails I want to go down, too. I'm gonna. I'm gonna. I'm gonna grab you for just a second because the. The last thing that I. I want to remind everyone around these goals, around all these things, a piece that we didn't touch is. I mean, we did, but let's go just a bit deeper. So 5% is conscious and 95 is subconscious. And if your subconscious is pictures and sounds and feelings, if you're just writing things down, well, that's great. That is not tapping into the well of your subconsciousness. And so here's where I'm going to invite you to use what I call the immersion method and dive into a swimming pool of what it is that you say you want, who it is you say that you want to be. So this is like be, do, have and visualization having a baby. And we're gonna. We're. We're gonna act as if. And what's it gonna sound like, what's it gonna feel like, what's it gonna smell like, what's it gonna taste like and what's it going to feel like, not only internally, but externally? Because all of this is our subconscious pictures and sounds and feelings. So if we're. If I'm sticking on my trail of the gym, because I think everybody can relate to that in some form.

Right?

Okay. And I'm looking at my target goal that I've set. So when I'm showing up between two to five days at the gym.

Right.

What's it going to. What's it going to look like? Okay, it's gonna look like the space carved out on my calendar, like a block of time. I'm gonna see that. What else is it going to look like? It's going to look like maybe a new gym outfit or, you know, like it's going to look like my gym clothes laid out. It's gonna look. I'm gonna see the plan. It's also gonna look like me hyping myself up. Like, we could do this. Yes. It's gonna look like me finding the music that I want to listen to. Okay, what's it gonna sound like. It's gonna sound like XYZ music. It's gonna sound like when I'm done going, oh, it was so hard and I'm so glad I did it. And what's it gonna feel like? It's gonna feel sweaty and it's gonna smell stinky and like dive in to a swimming pool of you being this human, the front end and the back end. It doesn't just have to be what's happening at the gym. It's gonna be you then taking a hot bath or saying, oh my gosh, I didn't know I had a muscle there. It hurts really bad. That right?

Feel that today.

Exactly. All the things and, and it's you looking at your calendar going, this is the woman who, she does the space in her calendar for this. It's all the parts and pieces coming together. And so while you're be do having be the woman who do the things. And you will have the results of that woman. Human. That human. And see it, see it so clearly that again, you're casting those votes more often than not. And what you're doing is you're tying your conscious and your subconscious. You're aligning them so you have so much greater chance of showing up for yourself.

I love, I love that you've brought this spin into the mindset world because it's like activating all of your senses, taking you a layer deeper and like, and not just living in your brain where you'll spiral instead. I love what you said. Dive into the swimming pool and activate. Open up all of these other senses. Like create a different reality and then it becomes kind of irresistible. Like just you talking through that.

I'm like, yes, I want a new workout outfit.

That's one of my go tos when I need to like get my gym habits back on. Like, new workout outfit. And like, obviously that will help me. So I'm like feeling this visual as you're presenting it and it's not even mine. So imagine if you're putting that into your own goal, the power that you'll feel behind that. It's so good.

Yes.

So good.

Yes. Yes. And if you're listening, you're thinking, I already go to the gym. Quit talking about the gym. Okay, let's, let's just put this a little bit different spin on this. So I have another, I have a client, one of my favorites. And when she's gonna show up like as the badass that she is.

Right.

That next level, that multi seven figure she puts on her Favorite heels at her desk. At her desk, right? Like do the things be. Do have, like be her. And if you're being hurt, what is she doing? You know she's going to the gym. Besides that, what is she doing?

Right?

How is she caring for herself? Those types of things. You can put this copy and paste this here's a copy and paste her onto anything that you want, right? What's it going to taste like? What's it going to feel like, what's it going to sound like, what's it going to smell like? All those things. And that doesn't have to take hours of visioning. Like it. I remember I had a client who the gym was one of her things and she said, I can hear the clinking of the weights as I pick them up and set them down. Like we know how sound is just like a transport for us, right? Music is just like takes us to a moment. So all of that will really, like you said, brings your body, this whole somatic experience into your mindset and your identity.

Yeah, yeah, I'll show that.

Never.

Absolutely never. No, this is just reminding me. It's bringing me full circle to where we were saying at the very beginning. Like, oh, we changed the world in like less than 10 minutes. And this is reminding me of it. Of like, it can be quick, your change can be rapid. And sometimes we make it such a big thing, right? We're like. And again, back to, you know, part of our conversation here. Of like, I have to dig to the root, I have to find the thing, I have to make this visual that's big. I have to go seven layers deep.

Into in my life and it's going to take forever.

And is that actually true or is that a way you're self sabotaging yourself as well? And that's what I'm hearing you say here. It's like, we can do this quick. Like, this can just be like as fast as like putting on a pair of heels. Yes.

I love that you brought it right back to that literal, like, literally. Yes. It could be that fast for you. It doesn't have to take forever. You decide your brain does not know the difference between real and imagined. We did not talk about that. Your brain does not know the difference between real and imagine. So what if you start imagining the best, biggest, baddest you want? Like, what if you start imagining that instead? Period, you're always winning the game you're playing. Like, like the data that's coming in, you get to shift it. Your brain deletes distorts and generalizes based on your beliefs. So if you're believing in the direction of all that you actually deserve and that you want, imagine how your filter's shifting for you.

Yeah.

Oh my goodness. Okay. I know you have an amazing resource that I am. It probably ties in a lot of these concepts that you're talking about and like, helps people put them into action. Can you tell us just a little bit about it? And it is also all linked up in the show notes for everyone listening. If you're like, I need more of Mindy's magic.

I have created a private podcast that is bingeable. It's like 10 minute episodes except for two, two or case studies. So you get to hear from some of my amazing clients and all the work that they shifts that they have made. However, the rest of the episodes bingeable, actionable. We go deeper on the things that we talked about today. We go down the give you the seven keys to success. Like everyone is a tiny little master class and you just get to take them and hit the ground running. Like start making those micro shifts to create and experience the macro changes that happen when we make those micro shifts.

Yeah.

Oh, I'm, I just downloaded it, so I'm very excited to dive into it and I feel like everyone can feel the magnetism of you and your energy in this episode. So definitely head to the show notes, get your hands on it. It's amazing and it'll help you just dive into all the concepts we've been talking about today. Mindy, this has been such a freaking joy. Oh my gosh. I mean, I knew it would be, but it's. It's truly been so good. Thank you so much.

I'm so grateful for you and all of your gifts.

I love sharing this. So I truly appreciate you sharing me with your audience in order for me to then scoop in your community and remind them of who they are and who they get to to be.

Thank you so much for tuning in today.

If you're ready to get unstuck and on with a joyful life, you're ready.

To be magnetically you in life, relationships.

Business and everything in between. I invite you to apply for coaching together.

It all starts with a clarity call. If you thought this was magic, get.

Ready to blow your mind through your own possibilities. Apply for coaching at megansemens.com forward/coaching.