Stuck in Indecision? Here’s How to Break Free

Hello. Hello, my beautiful friend. Welcome back to the pod. I have a fun episode today. Well, maybe, maybe fun. We're talking about indecision. Is that fun? We're gonna make it fun. This is a topic that I work with a lot with my clients. So often my clients come to me stuck in this pattern of feeling like the only answer that they have is I don't know any decision that they're faced with. They immediately go into this, I don't know state. And I know that pattern very well. That is, that used to be my go to answer in one period of my life. And I want to chat through why we get stuck in that place. And also some tips to get out of indecision and talk a little bit about the power of your, your choices. So I want to start with, I heard this on a recent podcast with Christine Hassler, one of my favorite coaches in the world, and she talked about the root word of decision. So decision has Latin roots and it comes from the combination of two words which mean off and cut. And so the essence of, of decision carries this weight of being cut off, your split. You're cut off from the final choice, the final decision. And I think there's two lenses to look at this. And Christine talked about in her podcast episode that I heard this in. One side of this, which was that you're cut off from yourself, you're own inner compass, which I think is very true. And we'll definitely talk about that in this episode. And then the other lens to look at this through which she didn't touch on, but I really think about with decisions is your, what are you doing in the process of a decision? You're cutting off answers until you get to the right one. And so I think the reminder here is that if, if you are stuck in indecision, well, first of all, we're never stuck. You're still alive, you're still breathing. You're listening to this podcast here. So good news, you're not stuck. Stuck implies that we're just going to sit in the mud and we're not going to do that around here, right? You will get to a solution. And in the decision making process, things have to fall away in order for you to step into what it is you want. And so it can feel like we're endlessly sitting stuck. But what are you doing with the stickiness? Are you actually creating forward motion to it? And sometimes the answer is yes and sometimes the answer is no. I gave the journal prompt in our bonus back to you gathering this month Part of the journal prompt was are you open to a solution? And one of the members, I think a couple of the members really related though one of the magic makers in that space shared that her instant gut reaction was no. And I found that to be so interesting because when I was first crafting that journal prompt, I thought, well, yeah, of course everyone in this space is going to be open to solutions. And even when I consider that prompt for myself, there's definitely seasons where I feel like I've close myself off, cut off from solutions. And so the only way we're stuck is if we're not open to those solutions coming through. And that's part of the decision process, sifting through, cutting off until you find your answer. So let's talk about why we get stuck in indecision. Not stuck forever, but why you might feel stuck there right now outside of like, we've already started to touch on this a little bit. If we spiral into, well, I'm never going to find the answer and we're just endlessly telling ourselves that, then we're going to stay in that state. If we shift our lens, we shift our perspective, we start to look at different solutions, we're no longer going to be stuck, we're going to start moving the tires in a different way. I think another big reason we get quote, a little sticky. That's what we'll call it now, we get a little sticky in indecision instead of a full stuck is that decisions take energy. And maybe this sounds super obvious, but it's not something we think about when we're in the actual process. We tend to just get frustrated that we seemingly can't find the quote, right answer. But we forget that the decision making process actually takes energy. And it takes almost no energy to just say, I don't know. To just throw our hands up and say, I don't know. That takes almost no energy. And so if you already have, or if you're already at your capacity in other energetic areas of your life, then you're not going to want to make a decision. Because if your plate already feels full, you're not going to want to put more food on it. A plane can't land if their Runway isn't clear. And so if you're already feeling at energetic capacity in any area of your life and another decision is added on top, of course you're going to route to that. I just don't know. Throw up your hands. I just don't know. I'm just never going to get there because that's an easier place to go that uses way less energy. And maybe you're not feeling like you're at capacity energetically in other areas of your life. Maybe you're feeling like. No, I've actually sorted that out really well. Then just zoom into this decision that you maybe feel a little sticky in right now and notice how much energy output you're using towards it and how maybe you might need a little space. A little spaciousness goes a long way. Another reason I think decisions can get a little sticky. We get a little sticky in our indecision. I really like saying that. I don't know why. It just feels fun to say is the external noise. This is a big one. I think this is probably the most common reason that the people in kind of this corner of the world get a little sticky in their indecision is that the external noise is in excess. So ask yourself, are you going to everyone else trying to find the answer? Are you going to everyone else trying to asking them what they think you should do? Are you going to everyone else asking what they've done in a similar situation? Are you even replaying that to people again? Maybe you've already asked them, but then you're asking them again or you're asking them in a different way, or maybe you're not even straight up asking, but are you continuously talking about this thing? You're not even making an ask of, you know, what do you think? Or how have you navigated this before, but you're just continuously talking about about it. And we're going to talk about boundaries and communication in a little bit in our tips, but you're. You're not actually cutting off the XX noise. So you're getting feedback, you're getting advice even though you didn't ask for it, which is just piling onto this excess noise. Everyone has a different opinion. Maybe, or maybe everyone has the same opinion, but it's different from the one you feel. And so the excess noise is creating confusion. So all that to say, just ask yourself how much is external noise playing into this right now? Another big reason we get a little sticky and indecision. I'm going to make a theme song out of it. Is that we kind of get stuck in our own rabbit hole, AKA the mind. So we're not actually playing this out externally, we're just playing it out internally, on repeat, continuously and consistently, going through the exact same pros and cons over and over and over and over again. It's like this loop of feedback that even if the Internal dialogue goes a different direction. It always ends up in the same place, and it always ends up with you feeling stuck in. Well, I don't know. I just don't even know what to do because you've talked yourself into it and then talked yourself out of it, and then talked yourself into it and then talked yourself out of it. That is the brain's job, by the way. Our brain's job is to analyze. So it will always play on a loop over and over and over. As long as you let it. It will play on an infinite loop of pros and cons and analysis. That is the brain's job. So just consider those are, I feel, like the most common ways that we kind of get stuck in our own moments of indecision. And then I want to shift into some tips to get out of. So usually if we're stuck in a place of indecision, we're kind of stuck in that I don't know space. We're not in a yes, we're not in a no, we're not in a clear this way or a clear that way. We're kind of in this middle space of I don't know. And I think often we use I don't know to avoid trusting ourselves. And I think this is generally the root of an I don't know answer for the people in this corner of the world. We've created this default of I don't know because we've gotten further away from trusting ourselves, waiting for someone else to give us the answer, waiting for someone else to tell us that it's the right thing to do. And so we've created this default answer of I don't know because it's easier, because it's more comfortable, it takes less energy. So pay attention to what follows here. I don't know. Is that really true? Do you not know? If you did know, then what would you know? But I also think the important thing to remember in this is that I don't know is a full answer. So if you're like, no, no, no, you don't understand. I'm actually not super clear. I don't know. And that feels powerful for you. Remember that that is a full answer. Sometimes it's not as clear as yes or no, this or that. Maybe I don't know is the not the answer you want right now. And maybe that's why you're in such a frustrating feedback loop of endless, oh, I could go this way or I could go that way. But the truth is, there just isn't an answer right now. Sometimes that is true. Sometimes we're holding on so tightly to, it has to be this or it has to be that. There has to be something else. And right now, in this moment, the ask is that you just let it go, that it's a different direction altogether. So I think all that to say investigate your. I don't know. Usually it's like, I don't know. I'm just like. I keep saying, throw hands up in the air. I don't know. Just like, give up. That's often what we. We do with our I don't know, we just leave it at that. And we're like, okay, well, I guess I just don't know. We leave it and we don't investigate it any further. I'm saying, pull out your investigator hat, pull out the magnifying glass and look at that. I don't know, A little deeper. What is that I don't know actually telling you? Is it telling you that you're running from fully trusting yourself here, or is it telling you, hey, look, this isn't the spot right now that we need to be having our magnifying glass on. Let's look over here. So just listen to your. I don't know, the next one, the biggie. A tip to get out of indecision. What are you afraid of if you make a decision? Spend some time with that prompt. I really recommend if you're sitting in that sticky space of indecision, to grab your journal and write down these words, what am I afraid of if I make this decision? If it's a very clear, specific decision, write it down. Give it its name. What am I afraid of if I make this decision? And even if you start with I don't know, I don't know, I'm not even sure that I'm scared. Start there, start writing and just see what comes out. Because more often than not, if we are sitting in that sticky place of indecision and we're letting ourselves be stuck, there's a fear that's playing in the background of, okay, but if I choose this, then. And we have this whole story that's pre playing in our head, so playing before it's actually even happened. And that is enough to stop us from even starting. So get really clear on what am I afraid of if I go all in on this next tip is I should have numbered these. I don't know how many tips we're going to go through. We're rolling with it is to practice clear, boundaried communication So I talked about at the beginning one of the biggest kind of blocks or reasons we get stuck in indecision. So one of the biggest blocks to making a decision is external noise. But I'm a big believer in we don't swing one extreme to the other extreme. That's not going to serve us at all. So often we over correct something. So we go, okay, well I'm not supposed to have any external noise, so I won't ask anyone. And that's unfair. I actually find my inner circle's words and musings and wisdom to be so valuable. It's just noticing when it happens in excess or noticing when it's actually affecting your decision making process that matters here. But that's not to say cut them off completely and don't hear anything that anyone in your trusted circle has to say. So practice clear boundaried communication if you need it. And so if you find that there', smaybe, there's one person in particular that does tend to go heavy on the advice or the opinions. Or maybe you just want to put this into practice. You can try saying things like, hey, I'm not really looking for any feedback right now, but I just need to kind of like verbally process this. Or I just need to kind of like word vomit and just make it really clear that hey, I'm not really looking for advice or feedback, like maybe even sharing, depending on what the relationship is with that person, maybe even sharing. You know, I'm actually feeling like I've gotten so much advice and so many opinions, so I just need to kind of just like kind of word vomit or process all of this out in a verbal way. Could you just listen to me? And then maybe by the time you get all of it out, you might say, is there anything you heard that I said that really stood out to you? Or what did you hear when I told you that? And that automatically creates a different lens. Now it gives someone the invitation to no longer speak from their little bubble of a reality. They're now deeply listening to you and sharing through your lens. I mean, there's definitely exceptions to this practice and there's people that are most certainly boundary pushers that will like automatically go into opinion anyways. So this one might test your, your boundary setting, but I do find it to be really effective, especially for the people that are closest to you. I use that wording so often when I'm chatting with my, my husband. I'll just say, hey, I'm really not looking for feedback on this, but I just Want to share this. And by the end, I've kind of formulated a question that makes more sense for the decision making process as a whole. So give that a go. I might be a little biased, but since we're talking about communication, working with a coach in this instance can be so, so supportive. And I'm talking a real trained coach because the practice of coaching is always about bringing you back to yourself and finding your answers. Coaches are trained to ask questions that bring you back to you, not to give advice from their own reality. So I might be a little biased because I am a coach and I love the world of coaching. And coaches were the first people that helped me, myself to cultivate my own inner trust and make really powerful decisions in my life. So I'm a little biased, but I do find it to be one of the most supportive practices in decision making. I think the other amazing thing about having a coach in your life is that not only are they trained to bring you back to yourself, to ask questions that get you back into your own space, but they're also an impartial party, which is so different from the people that we talk to every day, from our friends, from our family. They're invested in your decisions in such a different way than a coach is. So just throwing that in there as we're talking about clear communication. Okay, let's keep rolling through our tips. A really important one. Make space to be in your own energy. Learn what it is to listen to yourself. And I don't just mean your brain, because we already talked about where we can go if we get stuck in our headspace, but learn what it is to listen to your body cues. Learn what it is when your brain's playing out a story. Learn what it feels like in your body when those different stories are playing out. And look, we can have. We hold conditioning in our body as well. And so again, we don't want to lean anything into the extreme. It doesn't have to be I have to only be in my space to make a powerful decision or I have to only be in other people's space to make a powerful decision. It's finding a balance between the two. But I think the important thing here is how often do I make space to be in my own energy? Or am I constantly in other noise? Even if I'm not actively talking to someone? Am I scrolling on social media looking for the next answer? Am I draining out by watching tv? Am I constantly filling my space with noise? How often do I make space to be in my own energy? To listen to myself. And I think the key here is not just trying to make the decision making space to be with yourself completely outside of the decision. So rerouting the thought completely. If you're, if you're right now, if you're really in that mode of trying to make a big decision in your life, give yourself moments to not be with that decision at all. Think about something different. Find another journal prompt to go to think about a book that you read or a recent podcast that you listen to. Maybe, maybe not this one about decisions, because you're still going to think about decisions. Go to a previous episode in the clarity corner and see where your brain takes you with a different topic. But make space to be in your own energy. Listen to yourself, be in your own space. And when you do finally get to that space where you're clear, you know the choice that you're meant to make, you know the final decision in your process. Stand powerful in it. That is what's going to cultivate your self trust. So once you make the choice to move, stand powerful in it, celebrate it, amplify it. No more wavering. If your brain tries to waver, remind yourself why you're doing it in the first place. Connect with the why that you're doing this at all and allow yourself to be with that. Because your fear can always come back in at any time. Even when you make the decision. Your what ifs can pop back up and so anchor into that why. Stand powerful in it. Amplify it. And the more you put this into practice, the more you stand powerful in your own decisions, the more you're going to cultivate that self trust. I think this really is a practice if you're someone who's never fully trusted your decisions, making this next big decision and standing powerful in it and be like and being like, thinking, oh, now everything's going to be different now. I'm someone who makes powerful decisions and I'm never going to waver again. I'm never going to question anything that's not true again. Your brain's job is to question, to analyze, to doubt. And if you're like me, I always say I was designed with a little ounce of extra fear. It's not going anywhere. That fear is going to come with me. The important thing is that I'm putting into practice. I'm flexing and I'm exercising my own trust in where I'm going. For me, I'm reminding myself always that I have the power to change my mind. The only right decision is the One that you make. You can always change your mind if you end up going, you know what? I think I took a wrong turn here. Let's get off on the next exit. The only right decision is the one that you make, because that's the only one that you have. And so stand in it, amplify it. Remind yourself that fear, doubt, questioning, they're all coming with you on the ride. And that's okay. You're safe to make decisions, you're safe to stand powerful in your choices and you can change your mind as you go. I hope this was so helpful for you. As a reminder, if you're into your human design, if you don't know what your human design is, you can pull your chart for free at the link in the show notes. But if you are into your human design, your inner authority is your decision making compass. It is the tool to help you get out of that external noise and out of your mind and back into your body. And I find that it is a powerful anchoring point to help you to get out of those two things, the external world and stuck in your headspace so you can connect with that inner authority as a way to strengthen this self trust and to get to know what it is to listen to your body a little bit more. So for example, if you have a sacral authority, it's connecting with those gut feelings. What does my gut feel as I am moving through the process? If thoughts are coming up, what is my gut doing when those are processing? If you're an emotional authority or solar plexus, similar thing, except with your emotions. What are my emotions doing as I'm moving through this process? What am I noticing about how I'm feeling? If you are, we're just going to run through all the authorities now because we're already here. If you're self projected like me, noticing what your voice does as you're talking through the decision process, noticing what direction you're pulled in. If your ego projected or ego manifested, noticing what your heart is doing in the process, it might be physically connecting with the rhythm of your heartbeat. Noticing what raises your heart rate, what lowers your heart rate and what that means. What if neither of those were right or wrong? You're simply noticing what your heart is saying. Also noticing what I decisions I me my language comes up through your process. Who am I missing? Splenic what are the quiet whispers you hear in that space away the alone time when you're cultivating that space with yourself? What are the quiet whispers that are coming up? What do you instantly know and then try and talk yourself out of and then for our reflectors noticing your energy in different spaces in different environments, when you're talking it out to your trusted inner circle, what is your body doing? What are you pulled into? What are you sparked towards as time plays out through your decision making process, what shifts and changes for you? So hopefully that little mini human design session helps. But all that to say your inner authority is a great connection point for you to get to know what it is to get out of your headspace and into your body a little bit more. So again, I hope this episode was so supportive for you. As always. I would love to hear from you after tuning in. Let me know which tip you needed to hear the most. It ignites my world so much to hear from you all after these episodes and to see your shares as well. So thank you, thank you, thank you. I will see you in the next episode and happy decision making my friend. Thank you so much for tuning in today. If you're ready to get unstuck and on with a joyful life, you're ready to be magnetically you in life, relationships, business and everything in between. I invite you to apply for coaching together. It all starts with a clarity call. If you thought this was magic, get ready to blow your mind through your own possibilities. Apply for coaching at megansemans.com forward/coaching.