Updating Language and Leadership with Carly Clark Zimmer

Foreign Corner where you'll discover how to unlock and express the most authentic version of you and realize that this is exactly what you were looking for the entire time. I'm your host and your coach, Megan Siemens. Now let's make some magic happen. Hello, my friend. Welcome back to the Clarity Corner. I'm overly excited as always for today's episode. Gosh, I think I just get more excited when I re listen to an episode after being fully present in it and then I really hear the wisdom. Gosh, it's just so good to hear people speak through their gifts. And I just encourage you and invite you today to lean into. How can I speak through my gift? How can I speak through my truth? What's the thing that I have been holding myself back from saying? Because wow, it is so activating when you give yourself permission to do that. And I hope that that's what you're experiencing in all of these conversations as well. As always, I'd love to hear from you behind the screen. So if you do have musings on an episode or you would love to hear a topic in an episode, or if you want to do one of our coaching sessions on the episode, we have spots open for that as well. And you can email me over@infoegainsiemens.com my projector self would be so excited to hear from you. And okay, let's talk about today's episode. So today we have someone I've really gotten to know over the past several months and, and it's been such a joy. I'm hoping to go meet her in person later this year in the beautiful Galway, Ireland. Our guest today is Carly Clark Zimmer. Let me tell you a little bit about her before we get into what we're going to talk about today. Carly Clark Zimmer is the director of Leadership Development for when you lead coaching and consulting. Their mission is to help equity centered companies that are experiencing growing pains or revolutionize and update leadership models from toxic top down productivity at all cost cultures to strength centered, equity centered and humanity centered cultures. One of the ways they do that is with the Colby Index, an assessment tool that helps define your instinctive strengths. From there, they help companies establish communication systems that consider different team communication styles. And the result? Less stress, less drama, quality productivity, happier teams and growing profits. Ooh, that just feels so good to lean into that feeling. Even if you're listening to this and you're like, oh, I'm not in a position of leadership or I don't have a team, Carly is Also an ICF certified life and leadership coach. And we talk a lot about how to become the leader in your own life, how to create that work life balance, and how to really go after your bold goals without compromising mental, physical and spiritual health. So there's a little something for everyone in this episode. Whether you are stepping into your next level of leadership or you are trying to figure out how to be a leader, how to get your footing, Carlyle just brings so much wisdom through. We really talk about considering how you do lead, how you want to lead. We talk about mental, emotional, behavioral, spiritual health, the importance of updating language and leadership and why this work is so important. Gosh, I'm just. There's so much more I could say about this episode. I was so blown away by the wisdom that Carly speaks over all of us. So without further ado, I'm going to pass the mic over, sit back, relax, and enjoy this conversation with Carly. Hello my friends, and welcome back. Our guest today is a beautiful soul that I have had the absolute joy of getting to know over the past couple of months. She is an expat living in the gorgeous Galway, Ireland, which I'm really hoping to come visit soon. She's a sacral generator 2, 4 who was once struck by lightning and cannot wear a watch, which I just think is the most fascinating fun fact ever. A heart centered life and leadership coach for conscious high achievers. A Colby facilitator who I have also had the honor of sitting in a reading with. And it was truly magical. Carly Clark Zimmer, welcome to the Clarity corner.

Hi Megan. I'm so excited to be here with you today. Thank you for having me on.

You are so welcome. It's going to be such a fun conversation. I have no doubt about this. I feel like we can't like breeze past this like struck by lightning fact. I, I mean, I know this is like not in, in line with the work that you do and how you serve, but I feel like somehow it probably is at the same time.

It's a very strange thing that happened in my early 20s and yeah, I was at a. Do you want to hear the story?

I would love to hear the story.

The shortened, quick version. So it was my, my middle brother. I have three brothers. It was my middle brother Billy. His high school graduation.

Yeah.

And this big storm came in and all like the tent that we had started blowing and we all went inside, the guests started to leave and then my cousin and I wanted to make cheese and tomato sandwiches because they are just simply the Best. And yet, for some reason, somebody put the tomatoes in the refrigerator that was outside in the garage that had a gravel floor. And because of the monsoon that came through.

Yeah.

The floor was full of water. So I go down to this refrigerator. I'm standing in a puddle of water, and I open up the refrigerator. And at that exact moment, lightning struck the house. And it blew out the windows of the back of the house. And it went, like, up through the ground, out through the refrigerator, all around me. And my mom saw it happen. Otherwise I wouldn't have thought anything about it because it didn't hurt. Like, I. I was fine. And then my stepfather is alignment, so he's worked on power lines his whole life. And he said I was in what's called the halo, so. Which is so wild. He's like, that's why you didn't get hurt, because you were like, in this part of the electric current that doesn't, like, zap you. So it was such a wild experience because I was screaming because my mother was screaming. And then my cousin was in the back of the house screaming because the windows blew out. So it was very wild.

Okay.

Few moments. And I was totally fine.

Totally. I have, like, full body goosebumps over this story.

I feel very lucky that I was fine.

Yeah.

And then for some reason, I don't seem to be able to wear a watch. I don't. I like to say that it's correlated, but my husband seems to think it's just me. It's user error. So that is just a fun part of the story that I don't know if it's actually true or correlated at all.

I mean, it totally makes sense, like the connection point does to me. So I see where you're. I see where you're coming from there. I'm so curious, like, did this experience, like, teach you anything about fear or anything like that? Because I feel like it's just like it's something so rare and you couldn't have controlled it. And there you were, and here you are.

I love that question. And I was more afraid because of the reactions that were happening around me.

Yeah.

I was actually like, I think I'm okay. I'm fine. I'm breathing. I'm not like, on fire or anything like that.

Right.

And it was my mom's reaction, my cousin's reaction. And actually my stepfather was so grounded because he's used to dealing with electricity that he was super helpful in calming me down.

Yeah.

And so I haven't quite thought about what I've Learned about fear from it.

Yeah.

I might have to sit with that question after our interview and see if anything comes forward.

Yeah. Such a fascinating story. Thank you for sharing it as well. Okay, so I feel like we are going to chat a little bit about the Colby today. And so I feel like before we even start diving into that, do you want to just share what that is a little bit?

Sure. So the Colby is an assessment tool that I use with a lot of leaders that I work with, lot of teams that I work with, and I even use it with my private clients. And I love this tool because it measures a part of your brain called conation, which is all about how you take action. So it's like your instinctual, like, am I going to put things into a system or am I going to brainstorm first? And it actually gives you these results that tell a story about how you're going to take action. Yeah, I just found that so fascinating because in the coaching world. Right. We're always looking at patterns and behaviors, learned behaviors, instinctual behaviors. And so the Colby is this beautiful insight into who you naturally are when you're free to be yourself. Much like human design.

Right.

That you're an expert in. And so. And they work really well together. We love the combination of Colby and human design.

Yeah.

Because you're really getting at the. The core of who the person is. And so what's interesting using this Colby is sometimes when people get their results, they're like, oh, my God, I always thought I was just bad at this, or I thought I was wrong. It's like, no, you just do things a different way. And our society says that you should be good at everything. You should, you know, get an A in every area while the Colby brings forward what you're naturally good at. So if you know that you can leverage it, you can use hiring, you can use it to approach projects. My partner, Heidi and I in the leadership development company called when you lead.

Yeah.

We use our Colbys so well together because we bounce back and forth. I'm like, okay, I'll work on this proposal for a little while, and then I'll toss it over to you, and she'll work it on for a little while and bring it back to me. So we use it in a way to collaborate with each other. And, oh, my gosh, yes. It's just so much fun. I could go, like, talk for another hour about it, but I'm going to stop. Yeah.

Yeah. I love what you said of just like it is and. And having experience, like a Reading with you as well or a session with you. It is a tool that's just very life affirming and like, you touched on. That's what I feel like human design is as well. And so I'm curious because we're gonna talk a little bit about your human design. I'd love to hear if you're like, oh, that part is also in my Colby and like, the connection points that. But I'm curious too, because I feel like we were recently having a conversation about people being like, assessment out. And whether it's, you know, a Colby, where you're taking an assessment or a birth chart. And I'm curious what your thoughts are on, like, the integration piece of it, not letting these assessments, these readings be just more information. What are your thoughts on that?

Oh, Megan, I know we were just talking about this a few days ago, so I think it's to. To put it in a really simple framework. It's all about the framing, like framing up the assessment and also giving people some information about why you're using it. So if you are a human design expert and you're using that with your clients, letting them know, Right. That this is, this is like really powerful information. It's going to help me coach you better. Are you okay with that? Do you want to learn more about it? Here's a resource. So I think it's. It can be our responsibility. We can, we can take it on as our. As a facilitator of whatever assessments we use instead of just like, take this. Great, now we know your results.

Yeah.

Like, how can we actually support people to utilize those results? And it's one thing about, I know we talked about this the other day, both human design and Colby. We don't just want you to take it and that now, you know, like a teeny, tiny sliver about, you know, what your is or you know, what your Colby is. We want you to know how to use it in your life. So that's why having a session to walk through your design or walk through your Colby numbers, it really is essential. Otherwise it can be confusing. Right. If you get your, your results back and you're like, that's not me now. You've just, like, thrown the assessment out, whereas there might actually be some other stuff going on. And that's where the coaching piece comes in. Right. Because we can start to look at, well, is it really not you, or are you acting in a way because society told you that this is like the right way, that you have to be in the world and so that's. That's why I was kind of on my. Megan and I had a conversation the other day, and I was on my. My soapbox just talking about.

Yeah.

That it is our responsibility to use assessments ethically, just so people understand and even if we're not an expert in it, which I don't think you have to be, like, a total expert, but you can say, here's some resources where you can learn more about this. If this is really resonating with you and just giving people a little bit more. Not information, but the integration piece.

Yeah. I love that that is how you answered this question and like, remembering the responsibility as a facilitator. And I think for people listening, too, it's a reminder of, like, looking at what mentors, what guides, what coaches you are aligning with, looking what. That. Looking at what values that they are aligned with. And I think that's such an important way to approach it. And that allows you as, like, if you're a client entering into a space for a reading, for a session, it allows you to go, wa. Why am I entering into this? Am I entering into this to, like, be saved? Am I entering into this because I feel like they have all of the answers for me? And that allows you to take that step back and go, wait, wait, wait. Is that really why I want to enter into this conversation? So I love that answer so much.

Yeah, absolutely. And also, one thing that I do in my sessions, it might be different, and I. I want to know your take on this. So love it. I always ask the person about, like, how. How is that landing for you? How are you interpret? How are you interpreting it? Does this feel true to you? And I always want to, like, hand the power dynamic back to the client so they feel like they have control over how they're going to use these results. So I use words like, according to the Colby. Right. Yep. Typically, this is how these numbers play out, like, leaving some space and some breathing room in there for the client to actually interpret those results as well. Instead of being like, you are an initiating quick start, this is what you do. This is who you are, and it puts you in this box. And that is not what we're here to do as coaches. Like, people and put them in all these boxes. So I. Can I ask you a question?

Oh, please. I love this.

So in human design, I'm super curious about how that works because the. And I'm not an expert in human design, so. But I do know about the birth chart. And then from there, like, it Kind of seems like this is how it is. So approach that with clients when they're like, yeah, this part doesn't seem true, or has that even ever happened?

Oh, 100%. 100% that's happened. So 1. The first way I always open a human design session is I give you permission to rewrite, redefine, or just completely let go of anything that we chat through today. Like, I am not here. Just like you're saying, I'm not here to label you. I give you permission to just, like, write your own descriptions of all of this. I also very much enter into a session in my own energy of knowing. Like, I'm about to learn as much, if not more, than the client is learning, because I can't tell you who you are, but you. The words that you pull out, the words that you share, that's where the magic is. And yeah, I think the other piece with human design, I, similarly to you would use language, like, generally, typically, you might feel like, how does that land for you? We pause after every section to reflect and rewrite as needed. And with human design, it's layers and layers and layers. And so when I look at your chart, you have such an interesting chart because you're a generator, but almost all of your channels are projected. And so you might resonate with a lot of pieces that projectors have. You're also a generator who has a defined mind. And so you have this incredibly powerful body connection, but also this mind and this logic that's super powerful too. So there's all of these layers that you can't just stop at that first label.

I've never heard someone say the projector thing, the project. Now I'm like, oh, okay, now I'm super interested. But. But I. I just want to reflect. I love your approach. I think it's so important. And language is important.

Language matters.

So important. That's to me, that's. That's why I do this work. It's putting language to what you're feeling, what you're experiencing, what you're in your body. Right. And just finding the words for it can be so healing because you're integrating that body and the mind. My mind, as you just shared, is very strong, but I also have a lot of awareness in energy. And I think I have an. Correct me where I'm wrong. An undefined emotional state. Center or no, decision making is unemotional. That's what it is. Right?

Yeah. So your sacral. Your decision making is sacral. So that would come from your gut, and you're right. Your emotional center is undefined. And so that might really, like, amplify the emotions in your environment at times.

Feel everything. Feel everything. And as a child, that was so hard. Yeah. And even when I first started coaching, that was really challenging. And now I've learned how to like, energetically clear, which is so big because for decades I just walked around like, holding on to all of that energy and all of those emotions because I could feel everything from the person across the street to my mom and my dad and my brothers and my clients.

Yeah.

It's just, it's just so important to know this kind of stuff about yourself.

Yeah.

And maybe do a little digging so you know where your healing is. You know where.

Yeah. I think you're touching on something here too that I love when it comes to any assessments is we are multi dimensional human beings. And like, it's not always as simple as one thing because the next day you might be like, what was I even thinking? Like, that doesn't even feel like me. Like you are. That's because you have so many contrasts.

Exactly. We're very complex human beings. And that's how I start off every session as well. Like, we're going to go through your report. And complex. This is just one piece of the mind that we're talking about here. You also have your feelings, your desires, your preferences, your values, and then all of your experience. So we can't just be put into this little box.

Yeah.

Even though we're just assessment obsessed, we just want people to tell us who we are. I think now you actually have to do some digging yourself.

It's true. Sorry, everyone listening. If you were like, they have the answers. I'll take the Colby and do a design. There's still going to be a little work to unfold.

Yes. And they're powerful tools to help you find those answers about who you are, how, what your true expression is like here on this earth. Right. And I think exploring that is, I don't know, the adventure of a lifetime. We start to break free from all the shoulds and the patterns and the shackles. Like, oh, there's that person that I know in my heart that I am.

Yeah. It's so true. It's. I always say, like, the greatest gift we can give to the world is to be the most ourselves.

Absolutely.

Yeah. Okay, so I feel like we've danced a little around your human design. So let's unfold it a little bit more. So you are a sacral generator and generators are our creators. They have these like, like incredibly aligned ideas that they can just like, get fully in flow with and they can just like be all in their work and just be so lit up by that. And I find that our pure sacral generators definitely have a fascination with the mind body connection, which I feel like everything you say, everything you create, I feel like comes back to that in so many ways. Like, I was listening to you on another podcast and you said a quote. Like you said, the mind constantly lies to us, but you also have this, like, pure love for your mind and curiosity. And like, I feel like you're just constantly questioning that mind body connection in the most beautiful, beautiful way. Can you tell us a little about, like, your journey with that connection?

Sure. So curiosity is my. One of my guiding values. It's just to be curious. And again, I think that that comes back to using language, like, being open, different perspectives, like, this might be the way, but there might be other ways. And that curiosity started when I was a kid and specifically curious about human development. And like, I remember. Do you remember Barnes and Noble? Am I dating myself?

Oh, I love Barnes and Noble.

Okay. Are they still around? I don't even know. I've lived over here for a while now.

There is one near me. There's totally one near me. It has the cute little stage. Did you go play on that when you were little?

No, we didn't have a stage, I don't think. But I just. I remember going to the personal development section, 15 years old, and like, it is all of this stuff about the connection, the body and. Yeah, I was just really, really interested. And then I received my very first massage. So that was in my early 20s. And that's when something just totally clicked for me and I was like, oh, I actually feel things in my body. Like that experience helped me integrate.

Yeah.

That there was actually something happening below my neck.

Yeah. Like I could get wild.

Yeah, exactly. We live with this other part of ourselves. And then that led me on a journey to study in New York City at the Swedish Institute for Massage Therapy. And then I had a whole other career as a massage therapist, which ultimately led me to coaching because I was working so much with somatics and the body and just what presented itself. And I knew that it was more than just muscle pain Right from this, like, deep knowing. I just knew. I'm like, yeah, they're talking about the shoulder or their. Their shoulder hurts, but they're also talking about mother in law. Like, what's happening here? So ultimately, all of the work that I did with actual Humans and their bodies, like, physically.

Yeah.

Led me to seek out coaching because I didn't have the language.

Yeah.

To help facilitate what was actually happening in their body past, like, do some stretches and drink more water. And then the thing that really pissed me off was, like, they would go back to their lives and just continue to do the things and, like, perpetuate the patterns. So when I found coaching, I was like, oh, for the people who want it, this is an opportunity to actually make real, lasting change. Once I had that tool and could see the results, I was like, okay, I'm ready to go full on over here in this realm. There's a lot of people doing amazing healing work, but, yeah, so that's. That's how I got here today.

Yeah. Yeah. I love that I. And I love that you said the words I just knew. Like, I just knew there was a connection there. Like, I just. There was something about it that I just knew. And you allowed that curiosity. I feel like all of your strengths just, like, beautifully, like, connect together in this really, really inspiring way. So you're one of the reasons I love that you said, I just knew, not only for that body connection, but your profile in human Design is the 2 4, and the 2 is called the hermit, which is spending this time. Spending this time retreating back in. And you might find that oftentimes you just know things and it can feel really, for lack of a better word, annoying. If people are like, how. How do you know that? Why do you know that? And you're like, I don't. I just know. Like, I just know. And it's those times of retreat that you're kind of regenerating those knowings. And I love that you said, like, oh, I just went and studied. Like, I knew this was the place I was meant to go next. What's really interesting about this profile is speaking of contrast, the 4 is the network and the community. So you might find at times a part of you wants to be alone, and then another part of you wants to be out there with gifts and with community and sharing it all. It sounds like you balance this really well. But do you feel that contrast within yourself?

A thousand percent.

Yeah.

I can just be alone for a really, really, really long time. And actually, like, I was just sharing before we started recording. I'm happily married. I love my husband. He's my best friend. He's amazing. And I'm also, like, go away. Like, I. I'm fine. Like, I'm fine being alone for a really long time. And I love facilitating communities Groups. I love group coaching once I'm out in a physical event, too. Like, yesterday I went to our communal tech space. I didn't want to, but I was like, if I go, I know I'm gonna have a good time. So that's where I have to use my mind sometimes to override and, like, get myself out of that hermit space so I can actually, like, be in community. Because once I'm there, I love it and have, like, the best time. But it's, like, the transition that can be a little bit tough for me. I can just write and, like, you know, create things behind the scenes, and I. I can be totally fine with that too, and, like, totally away from all things social media. And, yeah, that's. It is a challenge.

Yeah.

But I've found some ways over the years to override it and. And kind of trick myself into. Into doing the things at. For a business that you need to do in order to grow a business. Right. Like, getting out there, networking, being in community. I have had to really move through that hermit shell to. To embrace that side of myself because it. For a long time, especially in the beginning of my coaching business, where I had to go through, like, visibility and all of those struggles of just, like, being seen in this new light. That was a challenge, and definitely through that now, thank goodness. So those of you who are still in that phase, you will move through it. I think if you work with someone like Megan and really know your design, you can find the way to move through more gracefully. Maybe.

Yeah. First of all, I'm still internally giggling because my husband has the 24 profile, and he's literally said the same words that you just said where you were like. It's like, I just want to be by myself. And then once I get myself out there, I'm like, oh, this is great. Like, this life in a party, right? Yeah. He said those exact same words before, and I'm, like, internally cracking up of just, like, the resonance. And I'm curious if you have tips for anyone who's maybe. And maybe it's not this exact same internal struggle, but they feel like I need to be doing something else than what I'm doing right now. But it kind of feels good what I'm doing right now. Do you have any, like, tips for people to move through that kind of internal battle?

I so resonate with this question because I think it still comes forward, like, am I focused on the right thing right now? Am I doing the right thing? So for me, it's. It's using the Mind. Right. To get really clear on what my priorities are.

Yeah.

Right. And how I'm focusing my energy and what my, my goals are and making sure those goals are aligned with my values and just where I want to go throughout the next couple of years.

Yeah.

Or year or quarter. Right. If we, we don't have to have a five year plan. So it's. But I think that comes all the way back to values and your lifestyle and the life that you want to live and making sure that that's aligned with your energy. And then I, I set my goals. Right. I build my goals on top of that. So I don't start with the goals. It always starts with the energy. And then I can kind of come back and reverse it. Say, okay, so if I want to get here, then these are the steps that I have to take. And then it's just, honestly, it's disciplined. Like, yeah, this feels really good to have to, like, do all these other things, but I know that this is the number one priority.

Yeah.

And so it's. It kind of was getting myself into that rhythm. It's kind of like when you start a new workout and it's fun at first and then it gets really annoying and then you don't want to do it. And it's like pushing through in a healthy way to get yourself into that rhythm. That, like, this is just a part of what I do now. And that's really helpful for my business because in the beginning of the online portion of my business, it was really easy to, like, do all the other things that, yeah, we're not that important. And I worked, sure. With a lot of coaches who also spent a long time doing things that were not the important pieces, like the colors and the branding and all that, all that's important. But I think knowing what your values are, knowing your, Your strengths, knowing what you bring to the table, and then building your brand, like, on top of that, that's where the magic really happens.

Yeah. Yeah. I, I mean, I love all of that and I love that you're like, there are these, like, strong, foundational inner pieces to consider. And, like, have you even thought about those pieces and how those can help you move forward? So. Yeah.

Megan, I'm sorry to interrupt, but, like, if you don't know those parts of yourself, you're going to feel like an imposter.

Oh, yeah.

You're not going to want to be visible because the person that you're putting out there doesn't feel aligned. So you have to do this inner work. You must do it first. And then those pieces of, you know, being visible, showing up on Instagram, doing lives becomes easier because you know at your core that this is who you are.

Oh, yeah. I mean, you'll get me fired up on this topic because it's like there's so many, like, strategies out there. And if you're just placing strategies on top of unstable foundations in the inner work, you're just going to keep hitting that wall over and over and over and over. And then you fall into that story of like, well, what am I doing wrong? It's working for everyone else and it is that inner world. Yeah. So we've talked about mind, we've talked about body. What I also know is that you have a really powerful connection to your heart. You are like one of the most heart centered coaches that I know. And also I know that's such a gift out into the world. You have a define, defines heart center in your human design. And it's with the channel 2644, which is the channel of sales and marketing and has this just, like, powerful will to, like, create solutions. This is also one of those projected channels. So it also carries this, like, drive to rest, this drive to retreat. Retreat. Sometimes it might not feel good to be in the, like, flow of like 9 to 5 or 9 to 9, whatever it is. Like, sometimes you might feel like I have this drive to, like, put things out there to create solutions. And then I have this drive to, like rest and retreat, but also has this really powerful will within this really powerful heart connection. And I feel like you have a lot of good things to tell us about how the heart comes into play here because we've talked about that curiosity piece, we've talked about that body piece. How does the heart support us and how we're driving forward?

Well, first of all, I didn't know that part about my chart sales and marketing and. Yeah, fascinating. So the heart. The heart is the core. Right. When we use that word, the language. Right. The root of the word heart comes from core, comes from the French and the Latin. Right. Which is like your heart. And then courage weaves its way, like language weaves its way to that word courage. Right. Which is in the center of your heart. And when I say heart centered, I know a lot of people use that these days.

Yeah.

And I, I really resonate with it because I truly feel like we have to go on this journey towards our heart center because that's where desire really lives. Right. We're recording this on Valentine's Day. It's like the core, the heart. Right. Where our desires, our passion in all of the different languages around the world, it comes from the core, and it comes from art. So the. At the root of all the work I do with clients, it's getting to that core. Going on a journey to that core of your heart, finding out what your heart's truest expression of your lived experiences.

Yeah.

And it's truly beautiful when someone starts to tap into that. And even for myself, it's been many years of going on my own journey to kind of let the armor start to dissolve around the heart, because I think a lot of people, like, well, I can't let people see that. I can't let people, like, in and see my desire. Right. We have to protect our heart or our heart gets broken. All this language comes forward. So that's really where the seed of our vulnerability is, but it's also that seed of our courage. So getting connected to that and then leading from that place is just a powerful and a fulfilling way to go through our lives. And that's ultimately what I love to help my clients do is. Is go on that journey and get connected to it.

Yeah. Yeah. So you talked about, like, the Colby, which I feel like, helps get to know mind. You talked about that. The conative pieces of our mind and how that can bring that. Help support that mind area. You talked about, like, your journey with massage and how that's connected with your body. Is there a. Whether it's an action or a practice or something people can tune into if they're like, well, how do I. How do I find that heart part? How do I find that desire? Maybe I. Maybe they even feel completely disconnected from the word desire. Like, I haven't felt desire in years. Maybe they're feeling that.

Yeah. I actually think it's. It's all the pieces when we start using them together. So it's the mental. Right. So the head. It's like learning what those strengths are. It's the emotional. Right. Understanding our patterns, how they developed inner child stuff, like inner child work, releasing some of those patterns. It's the behavioral. So, again, like, going to the gym and finding how our behaviors are playing out our coping mechanisms. Right. So the behavioral piece and then we haven't really talked about yet. It's the spiritual piece. Right. So it's finding out how you define your connection to something bigger than you. I'm not here to define it for anybody, but it's. Let's explore what that means. There's so much healing when people can take their Personal development work and actually start to put it towards something that's bigger than themselves. It's like we do the introspection and then we get to go out. We're the hermit, and then we get to go out into the world and actually do good things with it. Right. So it's like, to me, it's not enough just to stop there with, like, the introspection. It's how can we take that out and start to make an impact in the world and start to believe in something that's bigger than us? Right. That's where the true fulfillment and the healing comes forward. So that's. That's my philosophy. And when people go on this journey with me. Right. They really start to make that impact in their communities, in their families and their relationships. So it is that true ripple effect out as well.

I love that. And I love that we've kind of, like, peeled back the layers to this place as well. Of just like you do that mind work, you can connect with your body, and then the heart actually just starts to open.

Exactly. Yeah. It's there. We don't have to go. Like, we. We do go on a journey to reconnect with it, but it's already there, and it's just been, like, armored up. I think Brene Brown came up with that term, like armoring up the heart to protect it, because it's been disappointed, it's been broken. You know, it's been led by all the things. And so we've. We've put all this armor around it. And for me, again, coming back to language, I don't want to break free from the armor. I just want to help someone dissolve it.

Yeah.

So with a little bit of compassion, acknowledgement, witnessing yourself and the journey that you've been on in your lifetime, it can start to dissolve the armor.

Yeah, Yeah. I love it. And isn't that just the same with, like, re getting to know yourself or, like, you know, taking these assessments, learning your human design, like, it's all always been there. You might just have some armor on.

Top of it, and you've been told, yeah, somebody else, and you're living up to all these other standards and, you know, someone else's version of fulfillment or success, and it might feel empty in your heart, you know.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

So that's why we've gotta, like, come back to. Come back to basics and like, what are your values? What are your strengths? What is your human design? And like, coming back and looking at that foundation, taking a different perspective at your life and Saying okay, then. Then coming back to the heart and finding that courage to take those steps, to actually make the changes. And I know that that's the scary part. Right before we started chatting today, I was talking to a client, and she's like, yeah, I know. I'm. I'm just scared to take the next step.

Yeah.

And so that process that I take her through, that I took her through this morning, is taking care of that inner child. Part of her who's very scared of being vulnerable.

Yeah.

And then taking the step forward.

Yeah.

Instead of just, like, breakthrough. It's your mindset and all that other bullshit. Like. No, sorry, that is outdated.

Yeah. Yes. So without taking us through, like, an entire coaching session right now, can you tell us a little of what that looks like to, like, hold your inner child? If someone's like, what does that mean?

Yes. I know that that can be very scary. And I continue to do this work for myself. I had a very happy childhood, and then my parents got divorced, so my father's mother passed away, and that kind of sent him into. I think what it's called now is bipolar. Right. So he would have these, like, very intense fluctuations of mood. And so that was. That's. I think that's why I do the work I do today, because I was just trying to control everything. Right.

Yeah.

And make my dad okay, make my mom okay, make my brothers okay. So when we look at doing inner child work, it's like rewinding the. The tape back to when you were a kid and just starting to create a safe space through your body. So through breath work, through meditation, and just calming that nervous system so it's not in fight or flight. And then asking that little version of yourself, like, what is it that you need?

Yeah.

What is it that you need right now? And it's a very tender place. And some people don't remember their childhood. Childhood because they're so protected there. But there are ways to create a safe space to go back there and re parent yourself and take care of that little version of you.

Yeah.

So to me, you take her with you. You're taking her with you. You're not casting her out and trying to break through at the. To me, that's like pushing that part of herself away instead of like, no, you're coming with me. I'm taking care of you. I'm the adult now. I will give you what you need. And it's a truly powerful healing process. And so I worked with another person recently on. We just did one quick little session she was about to have a launch and some of this inner child stuff was coming up and we did a 20 minute session and she was able to connect with that part of herself and identify what she needed to do as she went through the launch.

Yeah.

So that she was taking care of that part of herself. And she had her most successful launch ever. She's been in business a long time.

Yeah.

So it's really powerful work. It's not always quick work, just depending on circumstances. Because we want to create safety in the nervous system and make sure you have the capacity to do that work so that you're not re triggered when you do it. You might feel emotional, but we want to make sure that the adult in you has the capacity to go back there, which is why the somatics, the, the, the ability to calm yourself and your body is so important.

Yeah.

You have that ability to create safety.

Yeah. I love that. It is such a powerful work. It is such powerful work. And I love how you hold it with such reverence as well. And you hold it as a safe space and it's not just like, I don't know, I feel like sometimes in the coaching world there's these terms that become like, cool quote unquote terms to just like, oh, just like heal your inner child. But you actually hold it with so much.

Who is saying that?

Megan, you're like, let me find them.

Well. And pay attention to you listening to. Right. That kind of comes back to the beginning of our conversation.

Yeah.

Like, you want to bet your coaches a lot of people coaching industry now. And who were their teachers? Were they a bunch of white dudes? That can be a problem. And it's our responsibility to like, I, I know I learned some concepts that were totally outdated. Right. And it took going back and looking at these coaching philosophies and being like, where did that come from?

Yeah.

Who said that? Are we just regurgitating stuff that other people are saying that's actually harmful and not helpful? And so the, the work that I do with my partner, Heidi Mitro, we are all about updating language, updating leadership. And it's like, we need to update some of this stu because it's, it's. Problematic and it causes shame because then people are like, what's wrong with me? I can't do this thing. It's not working for me. It's like, it's not you. Yeah. It's just not a good way to do it.

Yeah. Oh, my gosh. Do you all like, feel that? Like, will I feel like that's like that drive, that's a heart.

That's like, listen.

And, like, what a cool reflection, too. Because I feel like sometimes we can think about, like, the heart and the desire, and we're like, oh, it's, like, so, like, flowy. But the heart is powerful. Like, the heart does have that drive and that fire to it as well.

Totally. And I was conflicted probably for the past six months about using, like, heart Centered Coach.

Yeah.

And then I. Because that was a program that I had for a while, the Heart Centered coach club, and it was more around heart centered coaches, but now I've reclaimed that title, and I'm like, no, your heart is your desire. It's your passion, it's your fire. And, like, if you feel trapped, it starts to burn, you know, and it's, like, leading you forward. So I think we get to reclaim that Heart centered isn't, like, just flowery and cute.

It's like, yes.

Full of passion and desire.

Yes, yes, yes, yes. All of the yeses. A hundred percent agree with you on that. Oh, my gosh, Carly, I feel like I could talk to you for, like, hours. This has been such a good conversation, and I love how we've just, like, peeled back the layers into this beautiful space of what does your heart want? And, like, what is the drive that it has and remembering to, like, connect with the values. Oh, my gosh. So many good nuggets in here I'm so grateful for.

And that it's okay that you don't know. Yeah. Like, it takes some time, and it takes that exploration to figure it out. So it's like, if you don't know what it is, it's totally okay.

Yeah. Yeah.

You're just starting that journey. Right. You're starting that journey to open and connect with your heart.

Right? Yeah, that's. I always say I started my journey with an I don't know, and that's an answer as well. And it has hints in it too. So I love that you've shared that as well. Just like, that's okay. If you don't know, there's no need to, like, shame that that actually brings us back, like, 40 steps. If we're like, oh, I don't know, and that that's wrong, because I don't know.

Everyone else has it figured out.

Yes. Yeah.

Yeah. Do some of this work that we talked about today. Right. Start with the head. Start with the Colby. Start with human design. Start learning about, like, those natural strengths that you have. That's a really good place to start. Because we're kind of comfortable up here.

Yeah.

And then you can, like, slowly make your way down to the body and then eventually into the heart.

Yeah, I love that. So good. Carly, are there any final words you want people to hear today?

I want to encourage everyone to have a human design session with Megan.

So.

That you start to understand these different pieces. Megan, you've given me some things today that I'm like, I didn't know that about my human design. And then come and learn your Colby, and not just take your Colby, but actually learn how to integrate it into your life.

Yeah.

And I think, is that too much? Am I giving people too many steps?

Three is a nice, easy number.

Okay. I think the third is, you know, you always have your breath. You always have your breath to come back to. And remembering that can be a challenge. But if you're feeling overwhelmed, your breath brings you right back. Your breath can calm you. And so. And from that calm place, that's the only way that we can create real change. Otherwise, we're in that fight or flight, and we can't make change happen there. Like, our body's just trying to conserve everything, all the energy that it can from that place. So coming back to your breath, finding those kind of practices to regulate your nervous system and your body, I think that's. Those are like the. The combo that can be really powerful process if you're not sure where to start on this journey.

Yeah. Oh, my goodness. I love it. Thank you so much, Carly. I know people are going to be so excited to keep following along with you, and of course, all of that is linked up in the show notes, and I have a feeling this won't be our last conversation out in the. In the world.

So, yeah, I think next time we might have to block out a lot more time because, Megan, this has been so much fun. Thank you so much for having me on, and I so appreciate the work that you do in the world.

Thank you so much for tuning in today. If you're ready to get unstuck and on with a joyful life, you're ready to be magnetically you in life, relationships, business, and everything in between. I invite you to apply for coaching together. It all starts with a clarity call. If you thought this was magic, get ready to blow your mind through your own possibilities. Apply for coaching at megansemens.com forward/coaching.