Melissa Dlugolecki explains the difference between using pain triggers to help someone face hard truths versus using them to control them. Empathy means approaching pain as useful data, not something to avoid. She uses a car repair analogy to show what happens when you ignore the warning signs.
I do not like to use pain triggers in a manipulative way. I like to use them in an empathetic way. There's a difference. I believe going to the pain with an empathetic energy is important so that the person is actually facing their pain and we're not toxic positivity-ing it or like skirting over the reality. The other thing is it is data. If your car could use some improvements to it, but it's not broken, you're not going to fix it, likely, especially if you're me.
