Mike Andes dropped out of medical school and initially used critics as fuel, but argues that relying on others' negativity for motivation backfires. External validation makes your decisions unstable and vulnerable to shifting opinions. Internal motivation—doing it for yourself, your goals, family—gives you emotional control and resilience.
Prove all the haters wrong. And when you get there, that's when you become dangerous in business.
So I have a bit of an unpopular opinion and that is that I do not believe that having a chip on your shoulder is a good thing. And I actually feel it can damage your business and hinder your prospects of success. I'm going to share today about how I had a chip on my shoulder and why I believe having a chip on your shoulder is not a good thing. So when we talk about having a chip on your shoulder, it can be for a lot of different reasons. Typically people try to become successful and they say, well, I have this chip on my shoulder. And a lot of times it's someone said something negative to them, someone said they would not be successful. Maybe they came from an underprivileged or under educated background or their family didn't go to college or they were poor, potentially, they were bullied or they are abused, they were hurt by somebody. These are all real things. Someone saying that you're not going to succeed, especially if it's a parent or someone that you love, or a friend that's close or a teacher, that could be very hurtful, can be very damaging. And I think what the popular opinion is, well, take that and use it as fuel against that person that you're gonna prove them wrong and you're going to become successful and you're gonna make something of yourself and you're gonna prove all the haters wrong. And when I hear someone say that, that is the first inclination of a chink in their armor. Because as soon as you have a chip on your shoulder and you care so much about what other people say or think about you, it immediately opens you up to vulnerabilities of their opinions of you constantly changing. Because people will constantly change. They'll think you're great, they'll think you're not so great, they'll think you're horrible, you're an amazing person. The constant ups and downs of other people's opinion will absolutely drive you insane if you allow them to dictate your actions and how you live your life. So when someone says, I got a chip on my shoulder and I'm gonna prove the haters wrong, the reason it's the first inclination is the fact that they put so much value on someone else's opinion that is dictating their current actions. Now, I used to have a chip on my shoulder because when I dropped out of medical school, I had a lot of professors and my peers email me, text me and Say, this is a bad. Why would you go mow lawns instead of going to medical school? And I had started college when I was 13 years old, so everyone in their mind was like, he's gonna become a doctor, he's gonna like cure cancer and all this other garbage. I was told. And the fact of the matter is, I had to realize that I'm gonna take that energy, that negative energy, and let it fuel me becoming successful. And that's fine. I really believe a chip on your shoulder can get you started. But that external locus of control of someone else's thought, thoughts, opinions, or how they treated you is not a long term successful track to be on towards success. Because eventually you'll get so far down the track of success that that external locus of control is so far behind you, it's actually difficult to even remember them telling you that you were gonna be unsuccessful. And this is why people pitter out. This is why after two or three years in professional sports, people just like all of a sudden don't do very well, is because they simply have taken external locus of control of someone else's opinions and thoughts about them, and they failed to intern and realize that they're doing it for themselves. They're doing it for themselves, their future, and what they want for their life and for success. When it becomes something internal, then you don't care about what people say. You don't care if they think you work long hours or you don't care what employees or customer might say that go flying off the handle and start screaming at you. You don't care because it's internal. You know why you're doing it and you're doing it for yourself. That level of control over your actions, your emotions, is what allows you to have a much more stable approach to business and your decision making. Because if you're constantly decisions in your business based on the chip on your shoulder of what someone said to you 20 years ago, that's absolutely going to mar the balanced approach that it takes in business. When you're looking at decision and having to make a balanced decision in your business, whether that be firing somebody or getting a customer or growing the business or investing and having risk in the company that's always dictated by someone else's opinions and that external locus of control outside of yourself, you're going to be in a very vulnerable position. And eventually that will lead to you doing something that will put the business in jeopardy because you're doing things for other people's opinions and what they think about you. Instead of for what you are, yourself and your goals and your ambitions and your dreams. And when you make that transition from chip on your shoulder to in my mind and in my goals and in my control, I have the power to make changes myself. Regardless of what other people think, it'll take you off the teeter totter and the tide of going in and out of other people's opinions. People are gonna love you. People are gonna ha. Some employees will think you're the best thing since sliced bread. Other employees will think you're mischievous, think that you're a conniver, and think you're horrible. Some customers will think you're the most amazing thing. They'll give you tips. They will make online reviews. They'll tell their family and friends about you. And other people will think that you are scamming them, that you are way too overpriced, that you did a horrible job. And so that constant bombardment of way off to this side and way off that teeter totter will absolutely make you sick. And that will only be the case if you've allowed someone else's opinions and thoughts about you, your business, your future, your successful process. The prospect of you becoming successful, them having that power over you, is extremely debilitating. I would highly recommend, and from what I had to learn is I'm not doing this for someone else. I'm not doing this because someone else told me I couldn't. I'm not doing this and trying to become successful because of anyone else's opinion about me or what they said about me in the past. I'm doing this for myself. And when you get there, that's when you become dangerous in business, because no longer are you pooled or swayed by the opinions of other people, but you're doing it because of yourself and what your goals are and what you want to do in your community and for your family. I'm Mike Andes, and we'll see you tomorrow.
