34: Barry Banther & the 5 "Rights to Respect" for Every Employee
In this Mutually Amazing Podcast episode, host Mike Domitrz interviews veteran consultant Barry Banther about the central role of respect in business performance. Banther argues that respect is not a nice‑to‑have add‑on but a profit driver, citing Harvard Business Review research and real‑world cases such as Southwest Airlines and a Fortune‑50 aerospace client. He outlines five fundamental employee rights—right to work, right to safety (physical and emotional), right to training, right to be heard, and right to be appreciated—that together define workplace respect. To operationalize these rights, Banther presents the CLEAR leadership framework (Create openness, Listen with empathy, Encourage feedback, Appreciate, Regular communication). He illustrates how leaders can diagnose disrespect, use the CLEAR steps, and model assertiveness without aggression. The conversation also touches on unconscious bias, the danger of “earning” respect, the importance of sincere apologies, and recommended reading (Return on Integrity, A Leader’s Gift, No Matter What, Philippians). Throughout, Banther shares stories—from a CFO exit interview to a “Charm School” for engineers—to show how respecting these rights yields higher productivity, lower turnover, and sustainable profitability.
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Welcome to the Mutually Amazing Podcast. I'm your host, Mike Domitrz, with the Center for Respect. The episode you're about to listen to was recorded when this show used to be called the Respect Podcast, so you might hear that mentioned during this episode. Well, let's get to the show. And welcome to this week's episode. Our guest today has 4 decades of experience as a leader in education, business, and nonprofit organizations. Family First, the home of the All-Pro Dad program, named him their Family Ambassador of the Year. He is also the current Vice President of the National Speakers Association, which I am proud to be a member of. That is Barry Banther. Barry, thank you so much for joining us.
Mike, I have looked forward to this. Thank you so much for the privilege.
Absolutely. And as you know, our show is all about respect. You work with corporations, organizations of all sizes at the highest levels. Why do you think respect is important in business?
Because it's important to the bottom line. You know, there have been a host of studies done. I'm sure your listeners are familiar with the Harvard Business Review report last year during the summer on how respect, specifically respect, plays a role in productivity, plays an important role in profitability. So, let's take it from a near-term example, Mike. Just a few minutes before we got on the phone, I had a call with the owner of a company whose CFO had resigned yesterday. And he asked me to do a quick exit interview.
What happened?
The company's growing. They've made some recent acquisitions. It didn't make any sense. And when I had the opportunity a few minutes ago to speak with the CFO and began by saying, can you give me some idea of what led you to this decision? It wasn't their compensation. It wasn't the new work assignments they had received. It wasn't anything happening with their employees. Here's what they said. I don't feel valued by the CEO and the owners of the company. And we spent the next 10 or 15 minutes talking about why they don't feel valued. Respect matters in the corporate marketplace because it's a key to profitability, key to productivity, key to retaining your very best employees.
Yeah, and it's just so key. And one aspect of that is The fact that this person in a high leadership role was not able to communicate that without fear of probably retribution or judgment, that they weren't aware this is why they were leaving, tells you you have a culture that's lacking respect. Because if you had a really healthy culture, they'd be able to tell you where problems are in the culture. Like, that, that should happen in a healthy environment.
You're exactly right. In my experience, And I've been privileged to be the lead consultant in over 400 engagements in companies to try to improve profitability and improve performance. There are 5 key rights that every employee in the marketplace has that oftentimes owners and leaders don't recognize. And these 5 rights, in my opinion, are the definition of respect in the marketplace. Here's the first one. The person has a right to be there to work. They're not an indentured servant. They're not a slave. You're not creating charity for them. They have a right to be there to work. Secondly, they have a right to physical security, safe in terms of their emotional security. That's what all the legislation from the last 2 decades has been around when it relates to a toxic work environment or a hostile work environment. The third thing, the third right is the right to be trained. You can't be expected to be on a job that you might have the initial skill set for, but you've not been trained for that job. The fourth right is the right to be heard. Then when they believe they're being genuinely listened to. And genuinely listening to someone means that you're showing them respect. You're not running over them. You're not shortchanging them. You're not making the decisions for them. Then the 5th right that I think every employee has, every colleague has, is the right to be appreciated. You know, this past week we saw the passing of Herb Kelleher, founding chairman of Southwest. And the employees took out a full-page ad in this weekend's Wall Street Journal. And in that ad they said, and I'm paraphrasing, Thank you, Herb, for knowing each one of us by name. Kelleher set the standard for CEOs showing respect in the marketplace by getting to know every employee and simply listening to them. So, there's no doubt in my mind, respect is not something that's an add-on. It's not something that would be nice if we had it. It's absolutely essential to sustainable business success.
Yeah. And there's something there I want to back up and talk about because I think it's so important for people to understand. And this is the right to be appreciated. Because a lot of people mistakenly will say, well, you have to earn your respect here. And that is such a dangerous concept because what it means is I don't have to appreciate you until you meet some standard that I'm going to create or that somebody over here is going to create. And the danger of that is, yeah, but somebody could do the same thing above you and say you don't deserve to be appreciated. And it's always coming from an I'm the ruler, And I get to choose when you get to be valued or appreciated. Barry, you mentioned that real quickly there, that there's 5 key rights that every employee has. What are those 5 key rights?
Well, Mike, I've been privileged to be the lead consultant in over 400 engagements to help turn around and improve performance in a business. And it's been our experience that there are 5 rights that if you as the owner, as the leader, as the manager recognize that your entire team have these 5 rights, then that's the platform to build a sustainable, profitable business. Here's the first one. The person has the right to be there to work. They're not indentured servants. You're not doing them a favor. They have a right in this country and in most countries in the world today where people can profit from their labor. They have the right to be at work. Second right, they have the right to feel safe, physically safe, emotionally safe. Thirdly, they have the right to be trained. It's not appropriate, doesn't work to hire someone even though they might have the requisite skills and then not train them for the job they're supposed to be doing. Fourthly, they have the right to be heard. It's been said, and it's something that I believe strongly, no one feels more valued than when they believe they have been listened to. So listening to that associate gives them a sense of value. In fact, there is a full-page ad in this last weekend's Wall Street Journal. Herb Kelleher, the founding chairman of Southwest Airlines, passed away last week, and his employees took out a full-page ad to thank him. And I'm paraphrasing, but one of the things they thanked him for, thank you, Herb, for knowing all of our names. It was legendary how he spent time with every new employee. And keep in mind, tens of thousands of employees at Southwest, learning their name and listening to them. And then the 5th right is the right to be appreciated, to be able to reach down inside someone and show them what they do well and bring out the best in them. Now, if you practice granting your employees these 5 rights, The right to be at work, the right to feel safe, the right to be trained, the right to be heard, the right to be appreciated. You have now created a respectful workplace. That's the key to a sustainable enterprise.
Absolutely. And I mean, if you look at each of these, they all affect the bottom line. Because some people are out there going, well, you know, all our people care about or our leadership cares about is the bottom line. But these are all bottom-line driven too. Look, if somebody— let's go to emotional and physical safety. If you have an assault in your place, whether that be harassment, sexual assault, violence, physical assault, just from the bottom line viewpoint, the damage that's going to do financially to your organization's PR reputation, the cost, the harmful environment it'll create for the employees, the amount of money and investments it'll take, which is a cold way to look at it, but just if somebody is going to be that cold and say bottom line, is a lot of money you are talking about right there.
Yeah.
If you move to the next one, the right to be trained. If people are not trained and they're screwing up nonstop on the job because you failed to train them, that's costing you incredible amounts of profits.
It's been estimated, Mike, that the cost of rework, having to do something over because it wasn't done right the first time, it's been estimated that that costs as much as 25% of the cost of doing business. When you've not trained people properly, you have sabotaged your success. You've built into the company The failure. Because if they have to do 10%, 15% of the work over because they weren't trained to get it right the first time, then that's going to wipe out your margin. It's not a matter of being cold and calculated. It's a matter of using common sense.
Yeah. And what's amazing is how often people want to blame the employees instead of the organization's training. You know, well, we can't find good people. I mean, these people, we come in, they just do horrible work. Or, and you sit there and go, well, how did you train— change your education process for the people who came in so that they would do good work? Or why did you hire— why'd you bring this person on your team in the first place? How did that happen?
Exactly. The great industrialists of the 19th and 20th century knew this. It is not enough to pay a person. You will not win a person of labor to your way of thinking until you've won their heart. And you win their heart through training, through listening, through appreciation, through safety, through showing them respect. And you would be hard-pressed, in my opinion, to find the leader of any company that's had sustained profitability. And I'll go back to Southwest as an example. And the current president, Gary Collins, at our NSA meeting told us last year, since they began in 1978, every airline that was in business then, or every airline that has started since then, has gone bankrupt or broke except Southwest Airlines. They've made more money year after year for over 45-plus years and never laid a single person off. The proof is in the financial statements. Respect equals profits in the workplace.
Well, and this last one, number 5, the right to be appreciated, it's one that I see the most pushback on. People say, look, they need to earn my respect. And the danger in that statement, I don't think people realize, especially people in management, this idea that you have to earn my respect when you come aboard and join us. Well, the problem with that is that means you're acting in a godlike position. Like, I have all the power and you have to behave this certain way for me to accept you, which means right away, I'm not good enough when I walk in the door. I have to do something to perform, to do, to be appreciated, which means right away, I'm working in a negative environment. Second of all, if you treat me that way, who's treating you that way on top? Like, you have the right— the rule can always be changed by whoever's on top in that situation. It's very dangerous.
And when I hear that from a CEO, the way I will sometimes respond is, well, when you see one of your managers poorly treating one of your employees and they say to you, I'm waiting on them to earn my respect, what do you think? Or when you see one of your salespeople poorly treating a customer, saying that customer's got to earn my respect, what do you think? It's foolish. We know that that's not something that's going to work in the marketplace.
Exactly. Yeah. You— if we're hiring you, we respect you. And that's, that's a key element. We appreciate you and respect you the moment we decided to bring you aboard, or we wouldn't have brought you aboard.
Exactly. And keep in mind, in a tight work environment where there's so many opportunities for people to work, you can't afford to put people in that position where they've got to earn that.
Yeah, right. If I'm walking in thinking, oh, here I have to earn it, and I can leave somewhere else and they'll immediately appreciate me, I'm gone, right? Most people are going to be gone to where they can be appreciated. Absolutely. So important. And why do you think it is, Barry, that, you know, we talked about the Southwest example right there. Why do you think it is that so many people don't have that viewpoint of corporate leadership? You talk to most people and it is a cold viewpoint. If they only care about the bottom line, they only care about the stock price, they only care about, you know, who's in that board meeting at the end of the year, that's who they care about. When in fact, you do look at the Southwest, the companies that are thriving There's a lot of work done to create a respectful culture. Why do you think the perception is that that's lacking in corporate America?
Well, I think for a couple of reasons. First of all, it's the media we watch. It's popular to characterize people in leadership and business as being people who don't believe in respect, don't believe in appreciation. And that's the stuff that movies are made out of. I've been not in a movie, but on the ground for 30-plus years in Fortune 100 companies, regional businesses, large family-owned businesses. And I've never found one in those 400+ companies where having an attitude of it's all about the bottom line, you've got to earn everything, has worked long-term. It'll work for 36 months, 48 months. It'll work for 10 years. It won't work for decades. So the first reason is people tend to think what they see in the media in terms of television and film, and even what they might read in some of the great books that deal with Wall Street, is that this is the way people are. That's a minority. The second reason I think they think that is because in their own lives, they've never seen the value of others, just others, simply others, other people. What's the value in being able to look at someone else and make the choice that I'm going to consider you a person of value? You know, before every major civilization began to fail, there was an open and obvious turn inward to, I want to get whatever I can get. Get all I can and sit on the lid. And so, the second reason besides the media is that people I don't think are really prepared. They don't understand the value of it. And then, the third part is their own personal sense of lack of self-worth. If I don't value myself very much, then how can I possibly value someone else? The greatest admonition, regardless of whether you are a person of faith or not, was given by Christ, Jesus Christ, when He said this. That this is the great commandment, to love the Lord your God, but then to love your neighbor as whom? As yourself. And so, in order for me to love my neighbor in a way that's valuable and appropriate and respectful, I've got to value myself. So, first of all, I think it's the media impressions. Secondly, I think it's the fact that they've just not been prepared. But thirdly, a lot of people try to get into corporate life and corporate management, and they suffer from severe self-esteem issues that keep them from treating other people with respect.
That's brilliant insight. And Barry, I think there's a potential 4th one there, that you look at our country and the world as a whole, most companies that start up fail in the first 5 years. And there's many reasons they fail, but a lot of those reasons are management-related, that you have entrepreneurs who don't know how to manage. So, a lot of people have bad experiences with management, like they've had bad managers. who did think, hey, you're a robot in my machine, and if you don't operate according to the instructions I give, you're a bad employee. And they've experienced that personally, so they find it hard to fathom that things can be profitable and caring.
There's a medical clinic located in Florida founded by Dr. James Gill, St. Luke's Cataract and Intraocular Lens Institute. They've done more cataract surgeries and lens implants than any other facility in the world. Royalty from Europe, business people from South America. They've flown around the world to come to this little community in Florida and have a pretty routine surgery. The theme of that facility, what the founder said was their purpose and what he trained every employee to do— and we were grateful they were our client for about 25 years until the owner retired— this was the theme: excellence with love. And he believed in treating employees that way. And treating your patients that way. And if you did that, they would reward you. You're exactly right. When businesses fail, it's rarely because their product failed. It's the way they managed the business, the way they developed or didn't develop people that led to their failure, not the actual product or service they provided, because many of those products and services are still being provided by other people. They were able to find that they had to show that kind of respect. The one that failed didn't.
Yeah.
And I think this is so brilliant for our listeners to consider right now. And we have a lot of listeners from the education market, from the military market, and from the corporate market. And a lot of people will hear this and go, oh, either my management is or isn't doing that. But I want people to pause and go, how am I? How am I creating a culture of respect with those I'm working with right along me right now today in the work environment I'm in? Those I'm responsible for leading, those— how am I creating a culture of respect for those who are in charge of leading me? How am I creating that safe space?
And you can do this regardless of your position. I'm going to tell you a story without revealing the company because I don't have their permission, but they are a Fortune 50 company. And almost 30 years ago, I was hired as a very young consultant to help about 30 engineers develop a different way to communicate with a major airplane manufacturer that they were in the process of building a brand new aircraft with. And so when I arrived in this Midwestern city to begin 6 months of helping these engineers improve how they communicate. My first meeting was in a windowless room in the bottom of a huge building. And these engineers had been told why I was coming. And so they welcomed me with a huge banner in the back of the room that said, Welcome to Barry's Charm School. That was how they felt about what we were about to do. And I spent the next 6 months with them helping them learn how to listen, helping them learn how to show appreciation, helping them learn how to communicate, helping them how to demonstrate respect for themselves and for their associates. Well, I was thrilled that at the end it worked. The new aircraft flew, and it was a great project and great experience. I didn't think anything else about it. Almost a decade passed, and I received a letter from this corporation. And I thought, well, this is just some sort of form letter. Opened it up, and it said, dear Barry, you may not remember me, but I was in your CHARM school. And he said, I've just been named the president of the company. And he said, I couldn't wait to find out. why I was chosen. I thought it might have been my second doctoral dissertation I did at MIT. To my amazement, he said, the committee told me I was selected from all of my peers because in the last 5 years I had developed a reputation for bringing out the best in people. His last sentence in that letter to me, I give up, Barry, you were right. Now, it's not that I was right, the principles are right. The principles of treating other people the way you would want to be treated, showing them respect, bringing out the best in them, If you've got a chance to have extraordinary exponential growth, that's where it's going to come from. And I've seen that manifested, Mike, time and time again.
That's a beautiful example. I appreciate you sharing that. Thank you. Let's say that it's not going right, that you see a business associate who's treating others with disrespect. What is your number one approach or helpful strategy for dealing with those moments where you see a business associate being disrespectful?
So if I'm dealing— if I've been tasked to work with a manager or an owner or a C-suite person who is showing disrespect, in my very first meeting with them, which I don't really call it a coaching session, it's a communication session, here's the first thing I say to them. You know, it's been reported that you're having difficulty with your associates, and it's being reported to me that you're going to have to improve that in order to keep your job. Why do you think this is happening? And I listen. I have to demonstrate to them respect because they probably made the assumption they've hired Barry to come in here and whack me about the head and tell me what to do. I have to demonstrate to them in that first session, second session, third session that I will listen to them, that I will ask questions, that I will show them respect, that if I disagree, it'll be done in a way that's not disagreeable. And typically, Mike, what happens By about the 2nd or 3rd session, they will look at me and say, in other words, I need to kind of learn how to communicate the way you're communicating with me. And I say, exactly. Are you ready to start doing that? Let's look at how we can do that. And then I walk them through, again, there's 5 simple things I want them to learn. And if you can imagine the word CLEAR that we can all remember. So the first thing is create openness. You've got to create openness with the people you lead. You've got to get to know who they are, like Herb Kelleher did. You've got to know their name, know something about them beyond the work they do. That's the C. L, you've got to listen, and to listen with empathy. Listen to be understood, as Stephen Covey taught us. The 3rd thing, the E in CLEAR, you've got to encourage feedback. You've got to be able to say to them, how am I doing? Don't be afraid to let the people you lead evaluate you. Marshall Goldsmith has said that once your employees know Once the people that report to you know that you're trying to improve in something, they'll step up and help you improve. They're pleased you're trying to do that. So create openness, listen with empathy, encourage feedback. The A is appreciation. You've got to be able to look at that person and very simply say, here's the strength I see in you, and here's an example of it. Mike, I'm going to use you as an example. I'm going to, I'm going to give you genuine appreciation. I'm going to flatter you. Let's see if our listeners can tell the difference. Here's the first one. Mike, of all the people in NSA who are on platforms around the world, you're one of the best. That's the first one. Here's the second example. Mike, here's the strength I see in you. Your concern and compassion for your audience goes far beyond the stage. For example, in putting this podcast together, we've had some technical difficulties, and you've worked with me over and over to make sure that we get it right. You've been very patient with me. That's a great strength I see in you. Now, which of those is flattering? Which of those is a genuine strength-centered appreciation? It's obvious, it's the latter one. But Mike, something else happened, and I don't want our listeners to lose this. Let's back up to what I just did. Not only did I just show you appreciation, but I taught you how to treat me. For example, suppose I'm privileged to do another program like this with you, and you think of my name. Well, then in that computer in your brain, the file's going to pop up, the Barry Banther file. And you're going to hear in your head, Barry believes I have great compassion for my audience, and I worked patiently with him to solve the technical issues. And guess what? You're going to be patient with me again the next time. I believe it's true. At work, we teach people how to treat us by the thoughts that we put in their head. The most important words anyone ever hears are the words they say to themselves when no one else is around. So do your employees— do they hear appreciation for the specific things you do so you can repeat them? Or do they hear words like, you can't ever get it right, why did we hire you, you're on thin ice here? Which words do they hear? Well, the words they hear will determine what they do. The ancient book of Proverbs, whatever a man or woman thinks determines what they do. Then the final letter in CLEAR, R, is regular communication. You can't do this once a year for an annual review. You've got to be creating openness, listening with empathy, encouraging feedback, showing appreciation regularly. Because I've never seen a team rise above their leader. They're going to perform in relationship to how well you lead them. And you lead them when you use these 5 rights of respect we talked about, and then these tools that I just gave you on how you as the leader can step in there. So, when I'm coaching someone to get better at this, I'm going to demonstrate it to them. And then, at some point, I'm going to give them an opportunity to learn these 5 principles.
I love it. It's powerful. It's an easy formula for people to be able to implement. Right away in their lives. And I love the way you give examples throughout this discussion we're having right now, Barry, because it's just beautiful for people to hear the difference. You know, in the example you gave there, the flattery versus the sincerity, that authenticity. It's great. It brings it home for all of our listeners. So, thank you for that.
Right. Sure.
Absolutely. Now, when it comes to respect in the workplace, we often hear that it's better to be assertive than to be You know, sort of the, the, the old statement in the dating world, in heteronormative language, they'll say things like, you know, the bad boy is the one who gets the women. And they have the same concept in the business world. The tough hard-nosed is going to win over the soft-hearted. How do you respond to that? Because that deals with almost be disrespectful, run people over to get what you want.
Sure. So let's look at the word assertive. The word assertive doesn't mean to be aggressive. So if so, Here's how, and I mean this sincerely. It's going to sound a bit tongue-in-cheek. Yes, I want you to be assertive. I want you to be assertive in creating openness. I want you every day to be being assertive out there creating openness. I want you to be assertive in listening to people. I want you to be assertive in encouraging feedback. Be assertive in those things that are going to cause people to willingly follow your lead, to willingly listen to you. So your assertiveness is not in telling people what to do. Your assertiveness is in building someone Who's able to do that job themselves. So yes, be assertive, just be assertive for those things that'll make a lasting difference.
I love that. And what I think it's important for us to consider, and I used to say this when I talk with students and working in schools, there's a difference in aggressive and assertive. And a lot of times people take them as the same word, right? So aggressive brings a different energy, an overpowering energy versus assertive is a, I believe in what I'm doing. There's a why behind what I'm doing. And there's a very big difference in those 2 viewpoints.
If we are assertive in demonstrating our desire to help others, that's going to reap enormous benefits for us. If we are assertive in getting our way, our own self-interest, then that's going to be a barren, barren harvest.
What if you've been the one who's disrespected someone, which we all have? You know, I think one of the problems sometimes that people listen to you and I is they'll think, what, these two have never disrespected someone? Of course I have. That's for sure. So how do you correct that when that happens?
So I'll start with my family first. My older son was dual enrolled as a college senior and enrolled in community college. Now today he's the managing partner of our firm. He's the vice mayor of our town. He's an extraordinary man. I'm very proud of him. He's the father of my granddaughters. But go all the way back to being a senior in high school. I was having a problem at our home with a new lawn we had put down. The sprinkler was not working, the recycled water was not working. And I am out there about dusk in my suit pulling hoses across the yard trying to get the water going. He comes home from class and he gets out of his truck and he has got his head down. And I said, what is wrong with you? In that tone of voice. He said, well, I think I failed an algebra test. At that moment, he became the sprinkler, he became the lack of rain, he became all my problems, and I unloaded on him. He didn't say a word. I kind of railed on him. You got to study. What do you think you're doing? You're wasting your money. You're wasting our money. When he got to the door, I stopped him. I said, David, wait, wait. What do you want from me? And I'll never forget what he said, Mike. He looked at me and he said, Dad, I would like some of that stuff that you teach other people to do for others. I could have crawled under my lawn. In other words, Dad, show me the kind of respect that you teach other people to show in the workplace. So, What you have to do is admit it. And with my family, I've had to learn to admit and say, I've not been doing this very well. With my sons, I use 2 questions. Question number one, how am I doing showing you respect, being kind, giving you a good model? And they would always say, oh, Dad, don't ask the question. I'd say, come on, give me a score. And they would say, on a scale of 1 to 10, you're doing 7. Well, it doesn't matter what the score is. The second question is powerful. What can I do to get my score to a 10? So that's how I've done it with my family. With my employees, You have to be willing to admit you are wrong. And in my opinion, you are never more influential with someone than when you can look at them with sincerity and admit you were wrong in how you treated them. Many, many times, sometimes with customers and clients, I have had to say, I owe you an apology. My tone of voice, what I said, it was wrong. I do not hedge it. I do not say, if I hurt you, if I offended you. I say, I know I offended you. What I said was wrong. I'm sorry, Mike. I'm no longer a young man. Never in my life have I said that to someone that they looked at me and said, go away, starve to death, die alone in the dark. I don't care about you. To the contrary, every time I've humbled myself and done that, they have embraced me and my life, and I hope their life has been better.
And there's such great questions that you gave there for the—
for family.
It's powerful. Right. It's just so simple, a simple concept of, you know, how am I doing? And then how do I get that score up? It's so easy to implement. And I think that's what's beautiful. It's not just theory. It's something somebody can implement right away. Barry, do you feel there are shades of respect?
Oh, sure, sure. One of the things that I have to work— this is something I have to work at. I'll be very transparent with you. I can, because of my age, because of my background, I grew up in a very poor part of Appalachia. First member of my family to go to college. I can have a sense of discrimination against someone that will not be apparent to start with, and it will hinder the way I respect them. So I have to really be very introspective from time to time and say, Barry, are you showing this person the full respect they need, or just enough to get by? And, and so you have to check yourself. We all have hidden bias. Our friend at NSA, Dr. Helen Turnbull, has written tremendous, tremendous, done tremendous work, written great books on this. So my hidden bias will cause me not to be totally disrespectful, but not as respectful as I could be. So I think there's that shade of respect. And then we have to be careful on the other extreme that we don't turn respect into manipulating someone, that we're simply overly doing our respect because we're trying to get something from them. So it's an everyday journey. It's a balance every day.
Well, yeah. And what I like about that is I think we all— the first example you gave of bias, we all have that, right? That unconscious bias. And are we open to understanding that we could do harm, whether intentional or not? Because people go, I didn't intend it. That doesn't mean it didn't happen, whether you intended it or not. And that we all are part of that journey. And it's, it's actually healthy to look in the mirror and go, I struggle with that too.
Exactly.
Barry, you've, you've been wonderful here. And there's 4 books you really recommend people read. Uh, one is yours, A Leader's Gift: How to Earn the Right to Be Followed. Another is Return on Integrity by John Bloomberg. Another is No Matter What by our mutual dear friend, Sam Silverstein. And then the book of Philippians by the Apostle Paul. Why these 4 books?
Well, uh, first of all, The very first one, Return on Integrity, and this has just been launched as a corporate book in the beginning of 2019. I think John's done the best job of putting into position what it means at work to have the kind of integrity that'll show respect. He really does a great job of showing what the ROI is. With a little bit of tongue-in-cheek, it's a return on integrity. It's a return on the investment of integrity. So I think that's very important. Sam, obviously, has been the leader, I think, in the last many years on the kind of authenticity and accountability it takes at work, and respect is a big part of accountability. Some of the illustrations I just used today are in my book, A Leader's Gift, and the subtitle is what's important: How to Earn the Right to Be Followed. The book of Philippians, because of a verse that occurs in the very beginning: Have this thought in you, to put another person's interest on the same par of your own. Respect means I value you as much as a human as I value myself. And so those 4 books, there are many more, but I think those 4 would be a great place to build your library with the kind of tools that'll help you be a person who gets a return on your investment of respect for other people.
Barry, you've been so wonderful in giving us simple concepts with steps and skills. The 5 signs, signs of respect everybody deserves, actually the 5 ways everybody deserves to be treated. Uh, is beautiful. And then the CLEAR formula is so simple for us to follow. And what I love about all of these, and I think this is always when you know you have something in alignment with respect, is you can apply them to every facet of your life. It doesn't have to be work. It could be your family. It could be your personal relationships. It could be your own sense with yourself, but they apply everywhere. And that's what makes it beautiful.
Well, Mike, I am so grateful that I could be part of this. Grateful for the work you've done in the Date Safe Project and really excited That you're now taking the same principles of respect and applying them where we all live, and that's in the marketplace. Thank you for doing this.
Oh, my pleasure. Thank you so much, Perry. And for our listeners, you know what's coming next. That is the question of the week. Before I answer this week's question of the week, I'd love to ask you a question. Would you please subscribe to this podcast, The Respect Podcast with Mike Domitrz? By subscribing, you can make a huge impact. Now, you might be wondering, Mike, how does my subscribing to your podcast make a huge impact? Well, here's how. For every person that subscribes, it raises the rankings of the show in the search engines. So for people who care about respect like yourself, when they're doing a search for podcasts, they're more likely to find this show, thus providing an awesome opportunity for us to spread more respect around this world. And all you do is hit subscribe under your podcast. Plus, the second benefit is by subscribing, you automatically get every episode Right into your phone or whatever device you are listening to the podcast on. It happens automatically. So subscribing also makes your life easier. Now let's get into this week's question of the week. Oh, and by the way, you can always ask your questions of the week by joining us on Facebook in our discussion group. It's called the Respect Podcast Discussion Group. Go there on Facebook and ask whatever questions you would like me to answer and/or address in this segment of the show. And And then listen to each episode to find out when your question is included. This week's question of the week is, Mike, in the workplace, how do I help others understand that what's happening to each other, to our colleagues, matters? It is part of our business. That's not gossip, that's caring for others. How do I help them understand? Well, what you want to do is you want to engage in conversation because just telling them, hey, you should care about them. Makes them feel like you're telling me what to do. And even though I may agree with that normally, I'm going to push back because I'm being told what to think or what to say. So instead, I want to engage in conversation. I would start with this simple question. Do you believe that every human being deserves a basic level of dignity and respect? Most people answer yes to that question. And once they answer yes to that, you say, well, that would then mean everyone in our organization, correct? They say yes. So if somebody is not being treated with dignity and respect, that would mean that that's a problem for our entire organization, 'cause everyone in the organization deserves that. And that's how you engage, how the individual matters. Every individual matters. And we need to care for every individual, treat every individual with dignity and respect at all times. We'd love to hear your questions, your thoughts, and your ideas. And the best place to leave those with us is on our Facebook page at facebook.com/MutuallyAmazingPodcast. Of course, you can always contact us on our website at mutuallyamazingpodcast.com. Remember to subscribe to the show so you automatically get it every week. And if you could take one moment to leave a review, that really helps other people find the show, which we are greatly appreciative of. So thank you so much for joining us. May you make today and every day a full of mutually amazing relationships.
