Stop threatening your teen's date. It creates fear, not safety, and disrespects both of them. Instead, greet the date politely, state your expectations clearly, and keep communication open. Safety comes through respect, not intimidation.
Parents, if your teenager is going on a date tonight, stop doing this. When their date arrives, don't look them in the eye and say something like, if you touch or hurt my daughter, I'll kill you. You think you're protecting her? You're not. You're making the night about you and making fear the standard for the date, not respect, care, or connection. You've also disrespected the person your teenager chose. They're probably thinking, what a jerk, and actually tuning you out. Instead, Model the standard you want for your kid in every relationship. First, greet the date with respect. Hey, great to meet you. If our kid chose to spend time with you, he must be a pretty cool person. Second, name the expectation. All we ask is that you treat each other with the utmost respect. Never assume what the other person wants or is thinking. Ask, talk openly. The reality is you can't actually protect your teenager on a date. You won't be there. Empower your kid. Model respect. We don't build safety by making people afraid of us. We build it by showing them what respect actually sounds and looks like. Want more lessons like this? Subscribe, reach out. I love speaking in communities and schools across the country.
