56: Glen Guyton on How to Foster Respect in the Workplace
In this episode of the Mutually Amazing Podcast (formerly the Respect Podcast), host Mike Domitrz interviews cultural‑competence expert Glen Guyton. They explore how leaders can cultivate genuine respect in organizations by moving beyond token diversity to truly valuing cultural differences. Key points include the need for education, the use of external facilitators and tools such as the Intercultural Development Inventory, and an eight‑factor model of identity (national, ethnic, racial, gender, religious, age, socioeconomic, and ability). Guyton shares a personal Air Force Academy story that taught him the damage of disrespect and the power of personal transformation. He introduces his "Ideal Me" framework (I‑am, I‑decide, I‑evolve, I‑advance, I‑let‑go) as a pathway to self‑respect that underpins respect for others. The conversation also covers handling disrespect, the role of allies, recommended reading (Priya Parker’s The Art of Gathering and Malcolm X’s autobiography), and a metaphor of organizational respect as a building’s foundation that supports all other floors. Practical take‑aways for leaders include assessing cultural readiness, fostering open dialogue, and building a respectful foundation that mitigates issues like harassment and lack of diversity.
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Welcome to the Mutually Amazing Podcast. I'm your host, Mike Domitrz, with the Center for Respect. The episode you're about to listen to was recorded when this show used to be called the Respect Podcast, so you might hear that mentioned during this episode. Well, let's get to the show. Welcome to this episode. We want to dive right in today. Today's guest, Glenn, has made it his mission to help organizations and individuals understand how to navigate the complex nature of culture. Glenn works with organizations that want to improve productivity and profits through innovative leadership techniques and building intercultural competence. So, Glenn Guyton, thank you so much for joining us today.
Hey, Mike, how are you doing today?
I am doing awesome. Thank you for asking.
Mike, the only thing that would have made this call better if it had been on a Wednesday. I don't know when people are going to listen to this. But I just really wanted to say, hey, Mike, Mike, Mike, Mike, Mike, Mike, you know, like that commercial.
Well, here's the good news. The show comes out on Wednesday. So, there you go. Oh, right.
All right.
Yes, it does. So, whenever it is airing, it will be on a Wednesday that people can hear this for the first time.
Well, it's so good to be here. And I love the topic, The Respect Podcast.
Well, thank you. It's something that we live and breathe here at the Center for Respect. And it's what I do with companies and organizations. So, and I know that's what you do too. You're all about culture. So, let's dive right into it. What are ways that employers, leaders can show respect to the people they lead?
Well, you know, I talk a lot about diversity and inclusion. And some of us kind of fall short when we are in business. We think that if we just get the right people kind of like just in the room, that that's enough. But we really have to begin to learn how to respect each other's culture. Like, we want people to be able to come and function and operate in an environment where they feel respected, where they feel that their gifts are respected, and where they feel like their unique points of view are respected.
I love that. Now, how do you handle when people push back and go, whoa, wait, our— they should be— they're working for us. They should be adapting to our culture. I mean, if we're adapting to every individual's cultures out there, we don't have a culture. How do you respond to that?
Well, look, now, when you are in a corporate environment, or if you are part of any group, there is— are some expectations of like how we operate and how we get along. There's nothing wrong with that, but you still need diverse thought, uh, unless you're just, you know, producing one type of, uh, product or one material and you have a very, very small niche audience. Diversity and inclusion have to come into play at some point because we do want to broaden our audience. We want to broaden the people that we interact with. And so, yeah, there are some limits to this, but even within a kind of a monolithic culture, there is some room for diversity and inclusion.
Absolutely. So, are there techniques or skills or strategies that you help leaders to implement to try to draw out that more diverse thought? And not just— I always hate the words like tolerance and acceptance, but actually appreciating and valuing difference in culture.
Yeah, I think education is very important. You know, first of all, you have to decide where do you want to go as a company or as an individual? Like, who do you want to interact with? What are your targets that you want to hit? And then what do you need to do to get there? And part of that may be bringing in more women. It may be creating an environment that's more accessible to people with disability. But when we begin to tap into these diverse talents of people, it really enhances our work workspace. Just think if you just had a bunch of men sitting in a room saying, we want to be more inclusive of women, what should we do? Well, how is a group of men going to plan for something like that if you don't have women in the room? If you don't have people that will be impacted by those decisions as part of the process, how are you going to ever get to where you want to go as a company or as an individual?
Yeah. And, you know, that's something that even when people can think of mainstream entertainment industry, it struggled with that. People would say, hey, a lot of people don't relate to what they're seeing on TV and the movies because for a long time, not now, we have more diversity in the writing room, in the directing room, in the producing room. But for a while there wasn't. So, people are like, of course it's not going to relate. Nobody's in the room that can relate to the discussion. So, I think that's one people could think of when they used to watch TV. how monolithic that looked, right? I mean, it was very much that way. So, what are ways that leaders can foster a respectful environment?
Yeah, again, I think education goes a long way. And, you know, sometimes I think companies have issues when they try to force diversity inclusion. Not that it shouldn't be part of the culture or part of the strategic plan for the organization, but you really have to create an environment where people can talk and communicate, with one another. That's like bringing in skilled facilitators so people can ask questions, that they can, you know, really get down to even question themselves, like, what are some of my biases? What am I missing? But if you bring in people that can help folks walk through some of the insecurities that they may have or some of the realistic questions that they may have, I think that's one of the most helpful things.
So bringing in an expert, what you're saying there is really the education is Bringing in an outsider who has the knowledge and experience to, one, teach what is needed to move forward, right? And to draw it out, because those are 2 different discussions, right? If we're in a room that's not diverse, Right. Well, first, you got to bring somebody in to help us, everybody in the room. Now, maybe I, as a leader, get it, but my team doesn't, right? So, I need to bring somebody else in. We all know the old story that if you've ever coached athletics and you tell the kids one thing, But you bring in some pro player and they say the exact same thing, everybody's like, brilliant idea!
Yeah, yeah.
So, same thing, right? You bring in the outsider to help sell the importance of this. So now you get the buy-in. Now what education's needed next?
Right. And then you wanna know, so where are we? Where are we? What's our starting point? We all deal with differences differently. You know, some of us have more of a tolerance based on how we were raised or the environment we were raised in. And so I do an assessment called the Intercultural Development Inventory, and there are other inventories out there, but it's a way to gauge how well you do with differences. Because if we don't know where we're starting from as an organization, we don't know what, what tools we need to adapt. And once you kind of have a baseline of, well, this is how well I tolerate differences, then you can recommend a course of action, whether it's, you know, reading more or participating in different events or, you know, watching movies from a diverse audience, since we talked a little bit about entertainment. But there are many ways in which we can build up our cultural tolerance. That could even be traveling to other places, getting outside of your comfort zone. But you have to know where you're starting.
Yes, absolutely. And not to get caught up in the myth of we're in a great place right now. Right. That's what people want to do. They want to celebrate. Well, since we're so good with change, we all want the change. we're exactly where we need to be, but you don't know because you don't have the people in the environment yet to really prove that to be true.
Right. And you may just not have been exposed to different things. So, you know, I want to give people permission to respect even, you know, their history and their background. It's not about saying that, you know, your culture is bad or this other culture is so great. No, it's understanding who you are first and foremost. And then, okay, well, let me learn a little bit more about my neighbor or my coworker from across that's working across from me or the person in this new market that I'm trying to reach, what do I need to know about them? How do they like to learn? How do I approach them? Is it business first or is it family first? You know, we all have different cultural ways of relating to each other. That's, that's just part of being respectful.
Yeah, absolutely. And so when it comes to thinking about differences, Glenn, do you think respect equates to agreement or assimilation?
No, it's just people just want to know that you honor who they are. And I'll give you an example of this. I've traveled all across the, the world, so I've been to, to Africa and to, to Ghana and some places where, you know, Americans can't drink the water. And each time I would go to a home in Ghana, they would offer me water. Now I realized that if I drank that water, I would get sick and it wouldn't be good for me. And so what did I do? I would just take the glass of raise it to my lip, sit it down. I was respectful of that culture. I was respectful of my health and my well-being. And each of us walked away from that encounter feeling fulfilled. So those are some of the things as we think about integrating different people, different cultures. It's not about necessarily putting yourself in jeopardy, but sometimes people just want you to acknowledge the differences, acknowledge some of their cultures and their traditions. And then you can move on to other aspects of the relationship. Absolutely.
I've done— I do work overseas, particularly I've done a lot for the military, and they'll tell us, hey, when you're coming to this culture, here's the top 10 things to know so that you— it's just that, so you can assimilate to some degree without obviously trying to act like you know the culture when you haven't been there yet, but to give you a heads up to educate you. So I love that you're sharing that. What about on the other side of this equation, when someone does disrespect you? particularly because of race, gender, or other identity factors you don't control?
Right. Well, you know, that's, that's hard to tell other people how to react. You know, I'm an African-American male, and so I get, uh, racist comments quite often. I'm a pretty high-level executive. Uh, I'm actually the boss in, in, uh, in part of the work that I do. So people say things that are off-color to me all of the time. And, you know, I deal with it a lot with humor. I try to be direct with people and correct them, you know, so it's kind of a two-way street. I can't tell other people how to react, but sometimes people just talk to you out of their own ignorance. And I think if we are a little gracious, not to make excuses for racism or sexism or any other kind of divisive ism, But sometimes people just don't know. I try to give people the benefit of the doubt, but we all have to make our own choices based on our own experiences. But for me personally, I do try to give people the benefit of the doubt. And if I have an opportunity to educate somebody, someone, I will. Uh, I don't think the burden should be on the disenfranchised people to always do that education, but that's just how it is sometimes.
Yeah, I'm a big believer in that, especially in our work we do where it comes to— when it comes to the level of sexual violence. You know, people will say, well, what, what should the survivor do? We're like, the survivor shouldn't have to do anything in that situation except take care of themselves. So it's always that fine line. And yet people do say, well, what are skills I can use in that moment? It's different. Everyone's different. Even if we give you all the skills in the world, in that moment, you don't know what you're going to do until that moment happens. I think it's important people understand whatever you react to when somebody does harm to you, if you react and you felt that in that moment, this is what I need to do. then at least you took action or you said something or you didn't, whatever is right for you. Don't beat yourself up. Don't blame yourself because of their action. That's so important out there.
Right. And that's why it's also important, like, so shows like yours where people can think about these things before they get in these situations, they may need to be an ally. They may need to come alongside and help someone else to defend other people. And so that that person that's being victimized or the person that's being disenfranchised won't have to bear that burden alone.
That's so, so important of being allies for each other. And, and it's a word that weirdly now there's almost pushback on this word, this word ally, which all it means is you're, you're being a teammate to another human being, right? You're having empathy and compassion for them. That's so important. Now, when you're doing work in inclusion, you specifically have 8 factors, right? So I'd love to dive into that. And for our listeners, These 8 factors are aspects of identity. So, let's dive in what that means, how they work, what they are.
Right. And so, you know, again, people define themselves how they define themselves, but I kind of focus on 8 different aspects of identity. We talk about the national identity. So, you know, what country you're from, ethnic identity, which is kind of more of a regional thing like European or African. We have racial identity, which is, in some cases I say that's a social construct and that it's somewhat arbitrary. You have gender identity, which is pretty understandable, male, female, or other gender that you would choose. You have religious identity, which makes a big difference. You also have age. Age, you know, generational identity really does make a difference. a big difference on how we understand and how we, we see the world. And then we have socioeconomic status. And then finally, we would have our ability identity. So, you know, our physical strengths and characteristics would be another aspect that we could use to talk about who we are. And, you know, so as we think about diversity and inclusion, you know, we are really complex as we think about respect, All those different aspects of our identity can come into play at any time in our lives. And so, in some cases, we may be the dominant culture. In other cases, we may be part of a minority group. And so, we have to move through all of these different interpretations of who we are as we navigate society.
And what I love about that is even just writing those out makes you stop and go, all right, how am I not aware of where that's showing up in my life, whether it's right, whether it's national, ethnic, racial, gender, because people want to go, oh, I know how I do that. Yeah, but have you ever thought of other ways that you're not aware of the bias or, you know, these— the unconscious?
Yeah, even in my role as I relate to other African Americans, you know, there's very few in the organization that I work for, you know, my primary occupation. But, you know, I have to be mindful that I'm in a different socioeconomic status. And so some of the things that I take for granted now are different from other people that are still on their way or that may be struggling financially. And so I can't just come out and say, well, because I'm Black, I know what Black people think. I know how Black people operate, or I know how all men think. You can't ever say that. You still have to take the time to listen, to look at people, hear what people are needing. I mean, I mean, that's part of building respect is listening to the needs of others and being responsive to it.
Yeah. I love that. So, so important. Now, you have a story that's very powerful that impacted you dramatically throughout your life, and it deals with respect. So, that's why I want to dive into this, your Air Force Academy experience. So, I am fortunate. I've been working with the Air Force for 15 years. The Air Force Academy specifically, I've been speaking there for 15 years in a row now. an incoming class every year. Just an incredible institution experience, but it is also its very own culture, as each of the academies are. It is. Yes. So, if you could share your story of your Air Force Academy experience.
Well, to be honest, I almost got kicked out of the Air Force Academy twice. I really paid the price for not understanding what it means to respect your teammates or other people. I was a pretty high-performing basic cadet. You know, I was voted outstanding basic for my for my class, and you know, so I could you know I could do all the marching. I was in pretty good shape. I could shine my shoes well. All those military things, I just had it down pat. But my roommate, he didn't. He was a kid from Montana. You know, not much of life experience, and just kind of awkward. And you know, I really took it out on him. You know, other people were whispering in my ear. You know, Glenn, you need to get your roommate together. You know, he's a piece of crap. He's this and he's that. And I started letting all those, those outside voices into my head. And so instead of me helping my roommate, uh, you know, I took, I took it upon myself to belittle him, belittle him to my friends, you know, sending, uh, nasty messages about him on email. This is when email first came out. And, uh, somehow one of those email, uh, responses got out, came back to me, and I, and I got into a lot of trouble about it. You know, they actually trained me, which is kind of Making you stand out in the hall and yell at you and do facing movements until I passed out. But it was a very valuable lesson for me, not because you know I got caught and got punished, but I just realized how my words would impact other people. I realized how the voice of the crowd can can hype you up to the point where you begin to betray who you are. You begin to betray your integrity, and you can find yourself in a situation where. You should be helping someone to overcome, but you're part of the problem. You're part of the group that's stepping on someone's neck and holding them down.
Well, it is powerful. And I think, you know, a lot of us can think back on when we've done that in our lives where, wow, I did not just act the way that I know myself to be as a human being. But we forget that when others do it, that we've done it, right? And there's the gift of that lesson. Like, you can for life go, whoa, I need to be careful here because I've done that. I will think, well, John acted that way. Well, now John is always a jerk, but wait, I once betrayed who I was. Am I always my worst self? I would. And that's, isn't that really the lesson there that are we our worst selves or was that a worse moment that occurred there? That's not who I am. There's a big difference there. That's a choice I made.
Yeah. Yeah. And I mean, we have to learn from those situations because in some sense, I don't want to let myself off the hook to say and say, no, that's not who I am. It was, it was a part of me. I mean, it was something inside of me that that decided to participate in that way and respond in that way to my roommate. But it's something that I don't, I don't want to be a part of me. It's something that I want to do everything in my power to, to make sure that never happens again. So, you know, it's understanding who you are and realizing what you need to do to change and grow.
You know what I love about that is we're seeing this politically in other ways. When something comes forward that somebody did 30 years ago that was an awful choice in that moment. And they go, well, that's not who I am today, as if it's an out. So, I'm glad you brought that up because—
Yeah.
Right? We see it all the time, which is what we should say is, yeah, that's awful that I allowed that part of me to come forward. I've learned that when I even have those thoughts, like any of us, you know, not making the right choice, I need to make better choices. That's actually owning it because that's not saying that's not who I am. That sounds like I That person disappeared and was transformed into this other human being here today. Now, that was part of my journey. So that is who I was, right? And that is part of who I am today because of the lesson of that.
I like that. And I believe in transformation. I think that's the important part. You know, we can transform ourselves and get better and learn and learn how to treat people better. I think, you know, it's unfortunate that my roommate had to be the person that I learned the lesson, you know, With, but I did learn a lesson, and I'm glad that I learned it early. I'm glad I learned it as a 19-year-old versus learning it as a 40-year-old.
Did you ever get to talk with that roommate, you know, a year or two after that, or maybe years later, to see how that was a process for them?
Yeah, yeah, we, we, we talked a little bit about it. I, I can't exactly remember, uh, what the conversation was, but we, we did talk about it a few years later and, and reflected on it. And I think he He forgave me. You know, there have been a couple of people in my life I felt like I needed to apologize to for some things that I did when I was younger. And I think it went over well. And I think people can see if you're really sincere when you follow up with them.
Yeah, that's so important. And the fact that they might not accept our apology, and that's their right. That's their right.
That's right. That's right. And you can't force it.
Right. I mean, part of respecting everybody is to respect their choices to make how they feel about us. Like, and people really struggle with that. And I did forever because there's a people pleaser in me, right? And so you think every— well, that person's unhappy with me. What do I need to do to fix that? Well, maybe they just have the right to be unhappy with you. So, but we were taught that something's wrong with that.
Well, you know, that's like Aretha said in that famous song, you know, R-E-S-P-E-C-T, find out what it means to me. You know, you have to find out what respect means to me. What you think is respectful, again, if we go back to talking about culture and diversity and inclusion, what you think is respectful in your culture may be totally disrespectful to me. We have to listen to one another to find out what respect actually means.
Yeah, absolutely. And you have a book called Ideal Me.
Ideal Me, yes.
Ideal Me. And how does Ideal Me, how does it integrate with respect?
For young people especially, it's learning to respect yourself. Uh, and having confidence in who you are, that's part of the thing that I think I missed when I was a young, young cadet at the Air Force Academy, is not knowing who I was. And so I felt like in order to prop myself up, I had to bring someone else down. But the IDEAL ME, it talks about— it's an acronym for 5 things. The first one is I am, I decide, I evolve, I advance, and I let go. And so, you know, as we begin to understand more about ourselves and where we're being called to, I think it allows us to operate and function with people who are different from us, because then we realize those people aren't a threat. They're just living out their lives. They're, they're answering their call. And so we can all have different calls. We can have a different path in life. But that doesn't mean we have to be enemies. That doesn't mean that I have to to take something away from you to be who I am, because I'm confident in my gifts, my strengths, and my abilities. And even if you disrespect me and hurt me, I'm going to continue to move forward and be who I'm called to be.
Thank you for sharing that. You have 2 more books you really recommend: The Art of Gathering: How We Meet and Why It Matters by Priya Parker, and The Autobiography of Malcolm X by Alex Haley and Malcolm X.
Yes.
What about those 2?
Well, again, the journey of Malcolm X is very important to me. I'm— I like the civil rights movement in understanding how change and progress was made during that time. And you see someone like Malcolm X who, who came to a point of self-reflection. He's known for being violent, but he actually came to a place of self-reflection where he became more of a peacemaker like Martin Luther King. So seeing that transformation, which we talked about earlier, I think is very helpful, helpful for any of us on our journey in life to say that, yes, we may have a certain agenda, but we can also be transformed and carry out our mission in different ways. And then the art of gathering, again, is as we bring people together, as we learn how to, to communicate in fellowship, is very important how we gather and how we are together as people. Uh, some very powerful things happen when we come together with one another. And so if we learn how to, to gather better, if we learn how to meet, meet together better, we can be more productive, we can be respectful of each other, and we can start to do what they call crowdsourcing now. We can start to pull from those diverse gifts and talents of people that we gather together for a common mission.
What a brilliant use of the term crowdsource. That's awesome. I love it. Glenn, who is someone that right now you really respect, either what they're doing, who they are as a human being, how they're presenting themselves in the world today?
You know, I work with this young millennial, I guess millennials are getting old now though. I work with this young millennial speaker, man, who's just so giving, just so gifted. She's one of the people that's helped me as I've worked on becoming a professional speaker. But, you know, she's just so generous with her time and her gifts. Her name is Crystal Washington and she speaks on technology. But just to see someone who's just unselfish in sharing their gifts, and I meet a lot of speakers like that. I guess maybe we're just really friendly people, I don't know.
Crystal has a really cool energy about her.
Oh, you know Crystal?
I know, yes. I mean, I don't want to mislead, like, you know, we hang out or talk or anything, but—
Okay.
Have absolutely met.
Yeah, but yeah, but she has such good energy. And I'm probably about 10 years older than her. I call her my sensei, but she's someone that I respect, especially in this business. You know, I've had a lot of mentors. I always think that we should have mentors in our life. We should have people that are older than us, that, that, uh, pull us along. We should have younger people behind us pushing us to help us, uh, achieve our dreams.
Love it, love it. Now I want to make sure everyone listening right now can find you.
Yes.
And so, yeah, yeah, yeah. So it's nice and easy because your name is exactly what it sounds like to spell it.
Yes.
Glenn Guyton, which is Guy, G-U-Y-T-O-N.
That's exactly it.
One N on the Glenn. glenguyton.com. Uh, you'll find everything about Glenn there. facebook.com/GlennGuyton. Twitter @GlennGuyton. So LinkedIn, Glenn Guyton. So this is nice and easy for everybody to find you. I want to thank you so much for joining us, Glenn.
Well, thank you so much for having me on. I really enjoyed it.
Absolutely. And for all of our listeners, you know what's coming next. That is the question of the week. This week's question is, Mike, why do you think so many organizations, corporations, businesses, large associations fail to really honestly discuss respect or to build a foundation of respect Within their organization. And the question is a great one, and it's an important answer for us to discuss. The mistake most organizations of all sizes make is they think of specific problems instead of the foundation at which the problems are being caused by. Think of your organization being a large skyscraper, tall building, and they see, oh, we have some problems with, or we have some cases of sexual harassment or sexual violence occurring. And they think of that as, oh, that's a 19th floor problem. That's where that happens. And they go, oh, we have some issues of a lack of diversity here. And they think, oh, that's a 15th floor issue. And they keep thinking that if we just fix these certain floors, problems go away. What they don't realize is all those floors are struggling because you have cracks in the foundation that are causing more damage up on those floors. And the fact is that every floor has damage. You're just seeing where the cracks are showing the most, where they're most pronounced because of what's happening at your foundation. When organizations realize that if they build their organization built on a foundation of respect, it actually helps solidify every single floor above that foundation. Every problem that your organization is struggling with will be positively impacted if you reinforce the foundation with respect. Now, learning how to do that is the key. It's why we love doing what we do for organizations because we get to help them understand that by looking at specifically at their organization and seeing what needs to be strengthened and reinforced to have a real foundation of respect. We'd love to hear your questions, your thoughts, and your ideas. And the best place to leave those with us is on our Facebook page at facebook.com/ Mutually Amazing Podcast. Of course, you can always contact us on our website at mutuallyamazingpodcast.com. Remember to subscribe to this show so you automatically get it every week. And if you could take one moment to leave a review, that really helps other people find the show, which we are greatly appreciative of. So thank you so much for joining us. May you make today and every day a life full of mutually amazing relationships.
