Mike Domitrz argues that sex education should move beyond "don'ts" like don't get pregnant or don't rape. Instead, teach students standards of excellence for relationships and intimacy. When given this framework, he says, students actually slow down and hold themselves to higher standards rather than just avoiding trouble.
Don't get in trouble, don't rape, don't get pregnant, don't get STDs, don't get STIs. It's a don't world, which nobody wants to be told. I don't care whether you're 16 or 55, you don't want to constantly be told what not to do, right? You want, what can I do? And what's amazing is when you go into the schools, the students are like, oh my gosh, thank you. Thank you for finally letting us have this conversation in an honest fashion, right? That's realistic to what we experience. The administrators and the teachers who are like, wow, that wasn't what I thought. They have in their mind that if you talk about Kids are gonna have this new excitement to experiment sexually like they never have before. When in reality, when you do this right, they recognize, wow, the experiences I'm having don't meet the standards of excellence we're discussing in this program. And I deserve to be at a standards of excellence when it comes to my intimacy, to my relationships, to my body. And now I can recognize I'm not getting that, so I want to slow down.
