Mike DomitrzPresident, Author, and Speaker on Respect, The Center for Respect, Inc. · Author & Speaker on Respect for Schools, Corporations, & the Military since 1990 (has reached

Being invited matters, being included matters.#InclusiveWorkplace #CenterForRespect #Respect

3 Sept 2024 · 1 min

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In this brief talk, the speaker highlights that disrespect can be conveyed through non‑verbal actions such as eye‑rolling or denying access, rather than just words. Using a scenario involving a Greek organization’s dinner, they illustrate how people are often unintentionally left out when they are not proactively invited. The speaker recounts repeatedly excluding a member named John because he declined invitations, emphasizing that even repeated refusals do not justify omission. They stress that being invited matters, and suggest a simple reflective pause—asking oneself whether one is currently including or excluding others—to quickly identify and correct exclusionary behavior.

Chapters

Disrespectful behaviors don't have to be verbal, right? They can also be simple, symbolic through body language. So rolling the eyes is very— another one is denying access. Let's say you're a member of a Greek organization. Who's showing up at dinner when you all go out to dinner and who's not? Why are the ones who are not there consistently not there? Have you proactively invited them in or have you accidentally left them out? And people don't recognize often when they've left people out. So the 4 of us always go, and we once asked John over who sits in the corner, and we didn't ask John anymore. We've left John out just because John said no. Even if John said no 9 times, being invited matters. When you're denying people access, you pause and say, am I including them right now or excluding? Right? That immediately tells you whether you're right or wrong. When you're involving other people, pause, pause and say, what could I do?