Mike DomitrzPresident, Author, and Speaker on Respect, The Center for Respect, Inc. · Author & Speaker on Respect for Schools, Corporations, & the Military since 1990 (has reached

Body language is unreliable and can be dangerous.

5 Jul 2024 · 1 min

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In this excerpt, speaker Mike Domitrz challenges the common belief that body language can be reliably read to determine another person's desires. He presents a high‑school dating scenario where the same facial look leads to different outcomes on consecutive days, illustrating that identical non‑verbal cues do not guarantee the same intent. He argues that relying on such cues can be dangerous, especially when it leads to assuming consent; a mistaken assumption can result in a serious breach. Domitrz identifies two underlying factors that make body‑language interpretation risky: the listener’s assumptions and arrogance. The overall message is a cautionary warning against using body language as a definitive guide to consent or intent.

Chapters

What if I've been with someone for a while? Then we can read body language, right? Let's go there. Let's say that, uh, we have 2 people in high school. They're on a date and it's Friday night. The one gives a look. It leads to what they want. We'll just say in this case, kissing. They're making out. They're thrilled. Saturday, they're with the same person. Same look. Exact same look. Does it necessarily mean they want the exact same thing to occur in that moment? Yes or no? No. No. Same person, same look. Unreliable. That's how unreliable body language is. You go, well, Mike, well, how does that make it dangerous? Well, if you're with someone and you think, oh, I know what they want, so I'm just going to do it, and they didn't want it to happen, do we quickly have a disaster on our hands? Yes or no? Yes. This is the whole problem with body language. It relies on 2 things: assumption and what's the second one? Anybody remember? Arrogance.