Mike DomitrzPresident, Author, and Speaker on Respect, The Center for Respect, Inc. · Author & Speaker on Respect for Schools, Corporations, & the Military since 1990 (has reached

Challenging NO is not respectful and messed up.

24 Jul 2024 · 1 min

Watch on YouTube

0:46

In this YouTube monologue, speaker Mike Domitrz argues that society routinely fails to respect a partner’s verbal refusal to sexual activity. He points out that when someone says "no," the typical response is to question it with "why?" or "why not?" This pattern, he claims, stems from early social conditioning that teaches people to challenge a sexual "no" rather than accept it. Domitrz highlights how this undermines consent, describing the practice as "messed up" and urging listeners to recognize and stop challenging a partner’s answer.

Chapters

Ask the question is the third step. Now, of course, if you're going to ask a question, you're going to respect the— Answer. The answer. Are people good at respecting the answer when they're told no to sex? I'll prove they're not. If you say no to a partner sexually when they're really in the mood, what one or two words are they about to ask you? Yell them out. Why not? The whole room yelled, why? Or, why not? How fascinating is that, that you were never put in a classroom to be taught what we just said? But everybody gave the same answer. That means from a young age, you were taught that if you say no to sexual intimacy, your answer will not only not be respected, it will be questioned and challenged. Think about how messed up that is.