In this interactive workshop, facilitator Mike Domitrz and a small audience of college staff and students explore the core challenges of sexual violence on campuses and the skills needed to prevent it. The session uses live polling, personal storytelling, and role‑play scenarios to illustrate why every person deserves dignity and the right to give or withhold consent. Participants are asked repeatedly whether a fictional student, Erin, is “worth intervening for,” prompting them to articulate reasons rooted in basic human respect. A powerful personal anecdote about a family member’s rape is shared to underscore the emotional stakes. The dialogue repeatedly highlights how assumptions, arrogance, and fear of rejection lead to non‑consensual behavior, emphasizing that the simple act of asking is essential. The workshop also discusses how institutions can transform campus culture by building foundations of respect, fostering healthy relationships, and encouraging bystander intervention. Throughout, the facilitator employs a conversational, persuasive tone, urging the audience to adopt concrete practices—always ask, never assume—to create safer, more respectful college environments.
Chapters
When it comes to sexual violence, colleges and universities are struggling with how to solve the problem, with how to best give their students the skills that are going to make a difference.
So I ask you as an audience, is Erin worth intervening for, yes or no?
Yes.
Why? Raise your hand and give me reasons you believe Erin is worth intervening for. Yes. Because it's a human being. Because it's a human being. How many agree that's the only reason I need that every human being deserves to be treated with a basic level of dignity and respect? If you agree with that statement, say, yes, I do.
Yes, I do.
That's what is key. Bringing in a program that makes your life as an administrator, your life as an educator easier because all your students have the skills they need to make a difference and They believe deeply in wanting to do the right thing. You got a drunk person who's not of sound mind, they're vulnerable. You got a person who knows what they're doing, we actually have a term for this, it's called taking—
Advantage. Advantage.
I learned it's sexy to ask, and so from now on I'm going to ask my boyfriend You didn't misread them because there was no opportunity to misread.
You didn't give them a chance to communicate. It was an act of arrogance. I assumed what somebody else wanted, and I just did it because I wanted to believe that was true. It was a power move, an arrogant move, and we're taught to do this as a normal thing.
For me, This is personal. In 1989, I received a phone call from my mom that the youngest of my older sisters had been raped. One thing and only one thing is going through my mind. It's a very simple and clear thought. I wanted him dead.
If you think you'd feel the same way, say, yes, I would.
Yes, I would.
I know, I was there. I felt the rage, I felt the anger. I thought what I was gonna do when I got my hands around his neck. Isn't it amazing? We all want him dead now, now that he got the one we love.
10 minutes ago, I named him Jordan, and we all gave a lot of reasons for not doing anything. How many agree it's a bit of hypocrisy to suddenly want him dead when they get the one you care about? But this weekend when they were right in front of you and you didn't do anything because it wasn't your loved one, none of my business.
Oh boy, I learned a whole lot of stuff. I learned that the one major thing I learned is that you have to ask first before you do anything, because nowadays people out there getting reckless, you know. They start feeling on people and all that without asking and stuff. But one thing I learned is that you have to ask.
What are you actively doing in your schools To completely transform the culture to one being built on respect, to one being built on mutually amazing relationships. The most exciting part is the results. See, when you rebuild a foundation of respect within a school community, You see students thriving in healthy relationships of all kinds. You see students more willing and excited to stand up for each other and support each other on their journey.
What's another reason people don't ask? Yes?
Fear of rejection.
Yes, fear of rejection. So don't give them a choice. That just messes everything up. By the way, what I just said, does that sound awful? If you agree that sounds awful, just say awful.
No.
Think about that. I'm not going to ask you because you might say no, so I'm just going to do it to you. Yeah, as awful as that sounds, this is where it gets a little creepy in reality. As awful as that sounds, 95% of us have been taught to date that way. Question number 1, does every human being deserve a choice before you do something with their body sexually or intimately?
Yes or no?
Yes.
How do you normally give somebody a choice in life? You simply ask a—
