Mike DomitrzPresident, Author, and Speaker on Respect, The Center for Respect, Inc. · Author & Speaker on Respect for Schools, Corporations, & the Military since 1990 (has reached

Consent Goes Both Ways It’s Mutual or It’s Missing

22 Apr 2025 · 0 min

Watch on YouTube

0:29

In this brief segment, speaker Mike Domitrz critiques a common, low‑bar approach to sexual consent that reduces consent to merely avoiding criminal liability—"as long as I can't be charged with sexual assault, I'm good to go." He illustrates this with a dating scenario where a partner pre‑emptively declares a willingness to hook up later, prompting most listeners to feel uncomfortable and "run for the hills." Domitrz then contrasts this with a healthier model of consent he calls "mutually wanted," which emphasizes actively seeking to understand the other person's desire rather than coercing a yes. The core message is that consent should be an ongoing, mutual negotiation, not a one‑time legal safeguard.

If you're on a date with somebody and you're sitting across the table from them and they go, hey, just so you know, if we're feeling it later in the night, we're going to hook up. As long as I can't be charged with sexual assault, I'm good to go. Are you staying on that date or are you running for the hills? Which one are you doing? Running for the hills. You are running— most of you are running for the hills. Why? Because that's a horrifically low standard, right? Now compare that to mutually wanted, which means I'm not trying to get you to say yes. I'm trying to figure out if you want this. It is mutually wanted.