Mike DomitrzPresident, Author, and Speaker on Respect, The Center for Respect, Inc. · Author & Speaker on Respect for Schools, Corporations, & the Military since 1990 (has reached

Consent should be mutually wanted. #centerforrespect #mikedomitrz #consent #intimacy #mutual

1 Nov 2024 · 1 min

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In this brief spoken segment, the speaker challenges a minimal, legally‑focused definition of sexual consent—"as long as I can't be charged with sexual assault, I'm good to go"—by illustrating how such a low bar would cause anyone to flee the situation. The speaker then proposes a higher standard: consent must be mutually wanted, meaning neither party is pressured or talked into the encounter, and it must be specific, so agreement to one act (e.g., a kiss) does not grant permission for any other act. The segment serves as a concise argument for redefining consent beyond mere avoidance of criminal liability toward a model grounded in mutual desire and clear, bounded agreement.

Chapters

How many agree if you were with somebody, you're about to hook up, you're about to date someone, and they said the following words to you, hey, look, here's how I roll. As long as I can't be charged with sexual assault, I'm good to go. Would you stay in that situation or run for the hills? Seriously, which one? Hills. You'd be running because that's way too low a standard. So here's our standard, mutually wanted, which means I don't talk you into it, you don't talk me into it. If we have to talk someone into it, something's wrong. It is specific, which means if I say, can I kiss you? And you say yes, I don't get to do other things based on that yes.