Mike Domitrz argues that calling sexual assault by softer names like "drunk hookup" or "taking advantage" minimizes the harm and silences survivors. He says naming it explicitly as sexual assault would make the horror undeniable to everyone in the room, especially those who experienced it.
We're so uncomfortable around this topic that when somebody says something off, we actually laugh because we can't believe the discussion is happening instead of going, oh my gosh, that's messed up. And you're going, well, Mike, if we had all said that's messed up, what would have been the difference in the room? Every survivor in the room would have heard you realize what was done was horrific. But imagine the survivor in the room who heard us laugh. That starts to make them think, what is everybody laughing about? If you agree that's true, say that's true. That's true. That's true. We've got to start calling this what it is. People say to me all the time, Mike, what does it matter whether I call it sexual assault or I call it taking advantage of someone? Here's the problem. Nobody at the party calls it sexual assault, ever. Nobody at the bar calls it sexual assault, ever. They call it words like drunk hookup, taking advantage. Some people do call it things like a good time, as messed up as that is.
