No one ever owes sexual activity, imagery, or videos, no matter the relationship or history. Feeling guilty about refusing is normal, but disappointment from others is actually a sign you're living for yourself, not constantly trying to please them.
Do you ever owe sexual activity, sexual imagery, sexual videos, photos? Do you ever owe? Yes or no? No. Never. Never. I don't care how popular they are. I don't care how long you two have been together. I don't care how far you've gone previously sexually that night or other nights before. You don't owe. I don't care if they're a senior and you're a freshman. You don't owe. But then some students go, Mike, I know I don't owe. I know, I get that. But I still feel bad saying no. Why do people feel bad saying no? The number one answer people say yes when they want to say no. I don't want to disappoint the other person. By the way, are you going to disappoint people in your life? Yes. Yes. In fact, I'm going to tell you something people don't normally say. If you're not disappointing people in life, you're probably having a miserable life. If you're not disappointing— let me explain why. If I'm doing what everybody else wants to keep them happy, whose life am I living? Theirs or mine? Theirs. Theirs. When you disappoint people, it means you're living your life. That's actually healthy.
