When someone says no to your idea or request, it's usually about their circumstances, not you. A partner declining sex tonight isn't rejecting the person. A manager rejecting a project isn't saying you're not brilliant. Stop making rejection personal and you'll communicate better.
A spouse says to a partner, do you want to have sex tonight? Partner says, not tonight. This partner says, why don't you want to have sex with me? Hmm, interesting. What was the interesting word there by the partner at the end? Me. Now, do a lot of people do that? Yes, they do. They make it about them. How come you don't want to have sex with me? But that person said they don't want to have sex at night. It had nothing to do with you. But we make it about ourselves. And that's exactly what can happen in the workplace. Hey, they said no to an idea. They said no to a project. They did not say no to your brilliance. They did not say no, that, that could work at another time. Now if they did, that could be degrading. They might have handled it that way. That can happen sometimes. Like, that's a stupid idea. Right? Now we got problems. Right? Because now you are devaluing. Right? With that kind of language. But yeah, that is a major item. People think any form of a no or rejection is personal attack versus it's an idea that they're turning down. It's an opportunity they're turning down.
