When you ask a child "Will you get that done by 5?" you're not offering a real choice, just making them agree out of fear. State expectations directly instead: "You'll have this done by 5." Kids learn to trust your yes-or-no questions only when they actually mean yes or no.
Have you ever gone to your kid and done something like, hey, will you get that done by 5 o'clock? It could be mow the lawn, it could be clean the dishes, it could be something like that, right? And your kid says yes because they're afraid to say no. But they do get older and they go, no, not today, I'll do it tomorrow. And you go, no, you'll do it today. You just violated every ounce of that kid's idea of choice. You offered them a choice and then told them they didn't have one. So what is the solution is we don't give choices that are not choices. We go to our kids and go, you will have this done by 5 o'clock because that's your responsibility to have it done by 5 o'clock. We do not say, will you? That implies I'm giving you a choice, and then I'm taking your choice away. And then they learn, oh, I'm not allowed to say no to people who care about me or like me.
