Mike DomitrzPresident, Author, and Speaker on Respect, The Center for Respect, Inc. · Author & Speaker on Respect for Schools, Corporations, & the Military since 1990 (has reached

Everyone DESERVES to be treated with respect!

27 Oct 2023 · 1 min

Watch on YouTube

1:00

In this segment of his YouTube video, Mike Domitrz critiques the common use of "should" and "could" when giving advice, arguing that framing guidance around what a person "deserves" is more empowering. He illustrates how asking someone, "Where did you learn what a healthy relationship looks like?" can help them recognize that they may never have been taught healthy relationship norms. By highlighting the distinction between what someone is told they deserve in a harmful situation versus what they truly deserve, Domitrz encourages listeners to challenge dangerous narratives and seek a deeper understanding of healthy relational dynamics.

Chapters

Normally people say should and could and those phrases when they're talking to people. You should do this, you should do that, versus you deserve to be treated this way. So if somebody is saying, hey, this is what's happening to me, and they're wonderful and they're defending it, right? And say, well, where did you learn— this is a great question— where did you learn what a healthy relationship looks like? Most people don't know the answer. No, most students have no clue what that answer is. Some might say their parents. But a lot are like, what do you mean healthy? I don't know what you're talking about. And you could say, well, because what I'm hearing is concerning, because I think you deserve better, and I think they're telling you what you deserve is dangerous. Like, you can call that out. And I want to make sure you get what you truly deserve, not what somebody's telling you you deserve in this situation. But by simply asking, where did you learn about healthy relationships? It helps people stop and go, I don't know. So is it possible you've never been taught about a healthy relationship?