A speaker argues that avoiding asking for consent because you fear rejection removes the other person's right to choose. True consent must happen before any sexual act, not after. Everyone deserves the chance to decide.
Fear of rejection. And this one's interesting. That is someone saying, I'm not going to ask you because you might say no. So instead, I'm just going to do it to you. Now, when you hear that aloud, does that sound awful? Yes, it does. You know how many people say, well, I don't ask because they might say no. So you're just doing it to them, right? But we never say it out loud so the person doesn't hear. When you say it out loud, people are like, that's not what I meant. Well, that's what you're doing. Right, and what's beautiful here is going, "I didn't think you meant that," which is why I'm saying it's not wrong. It helps them recognize it, right? Because all you have to do is go, "Well, that's interesting. I would think you'd want them to have a choice." Now, some people will do this. Well, they have a choice. They have a choice whether to stop me or not. They can push me away. Now, that's fascinating. Should they have to defend their body against you in a sexual situation? Yes or no? Yeah, that's not called a choice. That's called self-defense. Right? It's a huge difference. Choice is when I'm part of the decision before it occurs and during, not just during and after. It's a big difference.
