Mike DomitrzPresident, Author, and Speaker on Respect, The Center for Respect, Inc. · Author & Speaker on Respect for Schools, Corporations, & the Military since 1990 (has reached

FEAR OF REJECTION

20 Jul 2025 · 1 min

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In this monologue, the speaker challenges the common excuse of "fear of rejection" for not asking for sexual consent. He argues that refusing to ask to avoid a possible "no" is itself a form of cruelty, stripping a partner of agency and forcing them to defend their own bodies. He contends that people who truly feared rejection would never engage in sexual intimacy, as rejection is always a possibility. He also points out that when a partner says "no" during intimacy, many people do not simply stop but try to find alternative ways to continue, suggesting that fear of rejection is not the real driver behind avoiding consent requests.

Chapters

Here's another reason people don't ask: fear of rejection. Whatever you do, do not give them a choice. If what I just said sounds awful, because that's exactly what you're saying if you say, I'm not going to ask because they might say no. So you're just not going to give them a choice. That's awful. That's literally cruel. I can't handle you saying no, so I'm not giving you a choice. Now, people get defensive with me and go, that's not fair, Mike. They have a choice. They have a choice whether to push me away. Should they have to defend their body in a sexual situation? No. No, they should not. So we're not even afraid of rejection. I can prove you're not afraid of rejection. When most people hear no during intimacy, do they flat out stop everything, or do they try another way to get back to where they were? Clearly not afraid of rejection. And if you were afraid of rejection, you'd never be sexually intimate with another human being, because rejection is always on the table. It's a possibility.