Mike DomitrzPresident, Author, and Speaker on Respect, The Center for Respect, Inc. · Author & Speaker on Respect for Schools, Corporations, & the Military since 1990 (has reached

Helping partner to feel safe

21 May 2025 · 0 min

Watch on YouTube

0:25

In this brief instructional segment, the speaker explains a practical method for making a partner feel safe to say no when intimacy is proposed. The approach involves prefacing a request for a kiss with a neutral, open-ended prelude that signals the asker does not expect a particular answer. By stating, “I have a question I’d love to ask you… whatever you answer, I’m good with, and I don’t want you to say what you think I want to hear,” the asker creates a low‑pressure environment, encouraging honest consent and reducing the partner’s fear of disappointing the asker.

How do I help a partner to feel safe saying no? So here's what you do. When we talked about asking for a kiss, do a little prelude to it. And here's what I mean by that. Hey, I have this question I would love to ask you. Open it up like that. That gets people intrigued, actually. They're like, ooh, what's the question? Well, before I ask you the question, I want you to know whatever you answer, whatever you're feeling, I'm good with. The last thing I want you to do is answer what you think I want to hear, because what I really would love to know is, may I kiss you? Boom. It lets them know I'm not expecting a yes here.