Mike DomitrzPresident, Author, and Speaker on Respect, The Center for Respect, Inc. · Author & Speaker on Respect for Schools, Corporations, & the Military since 1990 (has reached

"Not who I am" is a powerful statement.

19 Apr 2024 · 1 min

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In this short motivational talk, the speaker advocates using an identity‑based response to resist peer pressure and unwanted requests. Rather than offering excuses or arguments, the speaker suggests looking the asker in the eye and stating, “I’m doing this because this is who I am,” or “Not for me, not who I am.” This framing positions the decision as an expression of personal values, making it harder to be challenged. The speaker emphasizes that this approach is more powerful than typical excuses, provides a simple script for students facing peer pressure, and encourages the audience to adopt the phrasing as a lifelong tool for assertiveness.

Chapters

Here's the answer I want you to use the rest of your life. When somebody says, why are you doing that? And it's the right thing to do when others aren't doing anything, I just want you to look them in the eyes and go, I'm doing this because this is who I am. How many agree that's way more powerful than an excuse? Like, well, maybe something's going to go wrong. Maybe this, maybe that. Just say, I'm intervening because this is who I am. You agree that's more powerful? Say more powerful. More powerful. Some peer in this class or this school is trying to get you to do something you don't want to do. Maybe this weekend. You don't argue with them. You simply go, not for me, not who I am. They've got no argument now. They can't try to convince you the other way. What are you going to say? It is who you are. Go, no, it's not. You don't know me. I do know me. It's not who I am. Way more powerful.