Mike DomitrzPresident, Author, and Speaker on Respect, The Center for Respect, Inc. · Author & Speaker on Respect for Schools, Corporations, & the Military since 1990 (has reached

Raising kids. #centerforrespect #mikedomitrz #parenting #bodypositivity #newperspective

11 Oct 2024 · 1 min

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In this short talk, Mike Domitrz critiques the traditional "old school" approach to talking about pornography and sex with children, which framed these topics as dirty, disgusting, and shameful. He argues that this legacy has taught a generation to view their bodies and sexuality with guilt, leading to communication barriers between partners—women fearing they are labeled "sluts" for discussing sex, and men avoiding emotional conversation altogether. Domitrz advocates replacing shame‑based messaging with a positive, body‑affirming perspective that celebrates all body shapes and sizes. He emphasizes that discussing sex and porn should come from a place of appreciation for the body’s beauty and functionality, not from a need for external validation, thereby fostering healthier attitudes and open dialogue within families.

Chapters

Old school was you talked about porn with your kids by saying, that's dirty, that's disgusting, and you shouldn't watch it. Well, what did that actually teach most of the people our age? That their body was dirty, disgusting, and sex was to be shamed and guilted. That's what many in our generation were raised with a belief of. They felt bad to talk about sex. Wives couldn't talk about sex with their husbands, 'cause for a woman to talk about sex, that means I'm a slut, I have these things attached to me. Men didn't talk to their partners about sex, because a man doesn't do those things. He controls, he doesn't have to talk emotions or feelings. Was raised under shame, guilt, not healthy perspectives. So one of the things we don't want to do is create shame and guilt when you talk about these things. You want to say the body's beautiful and amazing of all shapes and sizes, not just the ones you see on camera. See the difference there? You're talking from a place of positive. It's so beautiful, you don't need to show it to others to gain value.