Mike DomitrzPresident, Author, and Speaker on Respect, The Center for Respect, Inc. · Author & Speaker on Respect for Schools, Corporations, & the Military since 1990 (has reached

Say "NO" if you're not comfortable. #centerforrespect #mikedomitrz #sayingno #intimacy

10 Jan 2025 · 1 min

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In this concise educational monologue, Mike Domitrz asserts that no one ever owes sexual activity, images, or videos, regardless of relationship length, popularity, age differences, or prior sexual history. He explains that many people feel guilty about saying no because they fear disappointing the other person. Domitrz reframes disappointment as a sign of living one’s own life—if you’re constantly trying to keep everyone happy, you’re living for others, not yourself. Embracing the ability to disappoint is presented as a healthy, necessary part of setting personal boundaries and respecting consent.

Chapters

Do you ever owe sexual activity, sexual imagery, sexual videos, photos? Do you ever owe? Yes or no? No. Never. Never. I don't care how popular they are. I don't care how long you two have been together. I don't care how far you've gone previously sexually that night or other nights before. You don't owe. I don't care if they're a senior and you're a freshman. You don't owe. But then some students go, Mike, I know I don't owe. I know, I get that. But I still feel bad saying no. Why do people feel bad saying no? The number one answer people say yes when they want to say no. I don't want to disappoint the other person. By the way, are you going to disappoint people in your life? Yes. Yes. In fact, I'm going to tell you something people don't normally say. If you're not disappointing people in life, you're probably having a miserable life. If you're not disappointing— let me explain why. If I'm doing what everybody else wants to keep them happy, whose life am I living? Theirs or mine? Theirs. Theirs. When you disappoint people, it means you're living your life. That's actually healthy.