Mike says shyness is neutral, not a flaw. Being nervous is normal, but it's never an excuse to skip asking for consent. A simple "May I kiss you?" respects your partner's choice and gives you a clear answer either way.
Hi, the student question we're going to discuss in today's video is, Mike, is it bad to be shy and afraid to ask the question? So let's dive right into this question. Is it bad to be shy and afraid to ask the question? Well, there are 2 very different components to this question. Is it bad to be shy? Let's be clear, there's no good or bad to personalities. So if you're shy, that's not a bad thing. If somebody's loud, that's not necessarily a good thing. It's not necessarily a bad thing. So we want to be clear of that. We want to take away any feeling of, if I'm shy, is there something wrong with that? Know that who you are is who you are. You want to own that. Now, the second half of the question is, is it okay to be afraid to ask the question? Well, to be afraid is a natural feeling, to have nerves, to be Worried. They're natural feelings. That's normal. What's not okay is to say, because I'm afraid to ask the question, I'm not going to ask and I'm just going to go for it. That's not okay. Someone's being shy, someone's being afraid of the answer is never an excuse to not giving your partner a choice. Your partner always deserves that choice. Always. So So if you're saying, I'm afraid to ask the question, then just stop and say to yourself, you know what? There's nothing to be afraid of really. They can say no and I'll say, okay, I'm glad I asked. The last thing I want to do is make you feel uncomfortable. They could say yes and that's going to feel amazing. There's really no risk to my life or anything happening here by asking, may I kiss you, or asking somebody in a sexual situation what they want. That's the important part to remember so that you can remove the fear.
