Mike Domitrz uses a car-borrowing scenario to show how pressuring someone until they give in is not consent, it's exhaustion. A no doesn't stop meaning no. Real consent requires asking and respecting the answer the first time.
So imagine your buddy pulls up in a car you've been dying to drive. You ask if you can borrow it. He looks you dead in the eye and says, no. Now watch what happens next, because this is where most people get consent wrong by thinking getting a yes is all consent is about. Wait, you want that car badly, so you go, come on, just around the block. No. Look, I'll be careful, I swear. No. Everybody else has driven it. I may be a little weird if I don't get to drive it. No. Look, I'll even put gas in it. I'll take it for a car wash. I mean, I'll make it worth your while. Still no. See, here's the question I want you to see. At what point in that back and forth did no stop meaning no? Because it never did. And if you keep pushing until they finally cave just to get you to stop, that's not a freely given— that's someone exhausted. That's someone worn down. So let me hand you 2 questions that can change everything when it comes to consent. 1, did you ask? 2, did you respect the answer? In this case, the person was asking and clearly not respecting the answer. No one should ever have to say no more than once? That's it. Did you ask? And did you respect the answer? This is a conversation I bring into schools, and if you want students treating each other with more respect, reach out. Let's change the culture, not just the awareness.
