The law sets a floor, not a ceiling. Treating legal consent as your guide means you're only trying not to get arrested, not actually respecting your partner. Real ethical sex requires genuine consideration for the other person, not testing how close you can get to the line.
So what's key is, instead of going, what's the— and you're not doing this, but I'm saying if somebody goes, what's the exact law, you can look it up. You can go to Massachusetts state law of sexual assault or consent, and it'll define it right there in front of you. But what I always tell people is, that's too low of a bar. None of us want to live our lives by, how do I not get charged with a crime? Because we're probably not making good choices. I always say, imagine your partner said to you, Hey, if you want to have sex, I would love to have sex. Just know this. Here's how I have sex. As long as I can't get charged with a crime, I'm good. Most people would be like, I'm out of here. There is something seriously wrong if you're going to push the boundaries of me to see how far you can go without getting in trouble with the law. So that's why I don't focus on the law, because that's not the right approach to this. People try to get as close as they can to breaking the law versus, how do I treat this human being right now? That's a much better guideline. Thank you.
