Mike Domitrz argues that telling teens to "ask first" or "do the right thing" misses the real work of consent. Your brain can convince you a choice feels right when it isn't. True consent means both people attending to each other's needs, not just listening to your own heart.
How many agree most high schools do not go in-depth conversations around these topics? They just give a general thing like ask first. If you agree that's how most high schools handle this, if they handle it at all, say that's true. That's true. So we were just taught do the right thing. Now, by the way, is that a good way for a kid to grow up just knowing do the right thing, do the right thing? Does that actually give them anything to do, yes or no? No. And if it's a sexual situation, How many agree your brain can convince you it feels like the right thing to do when it might not be the right thing to do? Is that possible in sexual situations, yes or no? Now, I heard someone say, listen to your heart. That's a good answer. Where was that? Over here. Okay, that was a good answer if— this is the key to that— are you listening to your heart for both of you? Good question. They said, what do you mean? If I'm listening to my heart, for what I want in the moment, I might not be paying attention to what their heart needs.
