Mike DomitrzPresident, Author, and Speaker on Respect, The Center for Respect, Inc. · Author & Speaker on Respect for Schools, Corporations, & the Military since 1990 (has reached

The Real Power of Oral Communication

29 Apr 2025 · 1 min

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1:05

In this spoken presentation, the speaker (Mike) emphasizes that body language can only provide signals, never definitive answers, especially when it comes to consent in interpersonal interactions. He recounts a midshipman's question about reconciling a partner’s verbal "yes" with contradictory non‑verbal cues. Mike advises listeners to treat body language as a hint, then use clear verbal checks to confirm intent. He offers concrete phrasing—e.g., asking the partner to pause, clarifying if they’re truly into the activity, and reassuring them that it’s okay to say no. The talk underscores the importance of respectful, word‑based confirmation to avoid misreading signals and to foster mutual learning.

Chapters

How many agree you cannot read somebody's body language 100%? Agree that's true? Say that's true. The body language will give you signals, and this is critical for everybody to hear. It'll give you signals. It will. It will never give you the answer. Words will give you the answer. A midshipman came up to me and said, Mike, I love this. I just got a quick question. How do I make sure that I'm not forgetting body language? See, sometimes when I'm with my partner, they say yes, but I don't feel like it's a yes. But they're saying yes. What we just described, somebody may be saying yes to something they don't want to do. What do I do? Do I ignore the body language? I said no. You pay attention to it because it's a signal, and then you use words to confirm by saying, wait, wait, wait, if you're not into it, why would we want to do this? It's okay, we don't need to do this tonight. Now if they come back going, no, no, no, I do, sorry, I just had a rough day, but no, I do, they've said, oh, you just read my body language wrong. Right? But if they go, well, why are you saying that? Why are you reacting? Because you look like you're not into this, and that's okay. I'm not trying to shame you for not being into it. It's okay, right? And you learn from each other.