Mike DomitrzPresident, Author, and Speaker on Respect, The Center for Respect, Inc. · Author & Speaker on Respect for Schools, Corporations, & the Military since 1990 (has reached

Think of the survivors emotions before your own.

24 May 2023 · 1 min

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In this personal testimony, Mike Domitrz recounts growing up with three older sisters, especially his admired sister Sherry, a top U.S. athlete on a full‑ride scholarship. While he was away at college, he receives a frantic call from his mother informing him that Sherry has been raped. Mike describes the immediate, visceral reaction of intense rage and a desire for the perpetrator’s death, acknowledging that such feelings are common. He then reflects on the moral implications of acting on revenge, arguing that doing so would worsen his sister’s trauma and future. Throughout, he challenges listeners to prioritize the survivor’s healing over personal vengeance, urging a shift in priorities when confronting sexual assault.

Chapters

I was raised in a home with 3 older sisters. Sherry, one of the leading athletes in the United States, goes off to a major university, full-ride scholarship. I looked up to her. She was 4 years older than me. A year later, I'm away at college. I'm coming back from practice. There's a note on my door. It says, Mike, call home immediately. So I run back, I pick up the phone, I call home. Hey, Mom, I see a note on the door. What's up? My mom was calling to tell me Sherry's been raped. One thing was going through my head. It was a very simple, clear thought. I wanted him Dead. If you think you might feel the same way, say, yes, I would. Yes, I would. I know, I was there. I felt the rage, I felt the anger, I felt what I was going to do when I got my hands around his neck. All normal feelings, by the way. Had I acted on those feelings, would I have made my sister's life better or worse? Way worse. Every time I meet someone, they're like, but Mike, it'd be worth it. Then our priorities are out of whack if we think our sense of revenge is more important than the survivor's future.