When someone tells you about trauma or assault, don't ask for details or say "I'm so sorry." Instead, make eye contact, thank them for trusting you, acknowledge their strength, ask how you can help, and listen.
And you can— Mike, if I say those words, what do I do if my friend today says, that's happened to me? Do I ask who did it? No, we don't need to investigate. It's not what the survivor needs. Do we say, I'm so sorry? No, that comes off as pity. Look that survivor right in the eyes and simply say, thank you for sharing. Clearly, you are strong and courageous. How can I help? And then you listen and you let them know their resources.
