When someone says no, respect it. The speaker shows how people of all ages, from married couples to teenagers, respond to refusal with negotiation or questions like "why or why not?" instead of accepting the answer. Teaching kids to honor a no, not challenge it, starts with modeling that respect yourself.
We role model the idea of look someone in the eyes, smile, ask a question, respect the answer. This is where most people fail, respecting the answer. By the way, married people fail. Some people go, what do you mean? Your partner's in the mood, you say no. Do most partners go, OK, thanks for telling me? Or what do they do? What do they often do, seriously? Are you sure? What if I do this? How about a back rub? Right? They try to talk their way back to a yes. That's not respecting the answer. Respect the answer actually would have been, okay, I don't want to do anything if you don't want to do anything. Okay, that's what it'd be. But when I ask students, what are you going to hear? Now, by the way, the middle school and the high school gives the same answers. If you said no to a partner, what 1 or 2 words will they ask you back? What do you think are the words? Why or why not? By the way, the whole school yelled, why or why not? So the kids have learned, if I say no, my answer won't be respected. It'll be challenged. It'll be questioned. Think about how messed up that is.
