Mike DomitrzPresident, Author, and Speaker on Respect, The Center for Respect, Inc. · Author & Speaker on Respect for Schools, Corporations, & the Military since 1990 (has reached

Why "Loser" Only Hurts If You Believe It

9 Feb 2026 · 0 min

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In this brief monologue, the speaker discusses the social pressure and stigma surrounding sexual experience, describing how peers may label someone a "loser" for choosing not to have sex. The speaker explains that such labels only affect self‑esteem if the individual internalizes them, and emphasizes that personal belief and self‑confidence are the keys to resisting external judgments. The core message is that others cannot force you to act against your wishes; learning to trust and believe in yourself protects you from the hurt of others' opinions.

So if I tell my peers I've had sex versus just stay quiet about it, or they ask, have you had sex? And I simply go, I don't talk about that. They're going to assume I don't. They're going to call me what? Loser. And then what happens once they call me the word? I feel bad about myself. For how long? You say I'm a loser because I haven't had sex and I've chosen not to have sex. So what? Why do I care if you think I'm a loser? This isn't actually sinking me. You believe in you. Other people can't get you to do things you don't want to do. So it's learning to believe in us.