Mike DomitrzPresident, Author, and Speaker on Respect, The Center for Respect, Inc. · Author & Speaker on Respect for Schools, Corporations, & the Military since 1990 (has reached

Why saying no is one of the kindest things you can do.

22 Dec 2023 · 1 min

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In this concise monologue, the speaker argues that it is toxic for a person to feel obligated to constantly make their partner happy. They explain that this mindset stems from childhood conditioning that discourages saying no to loved ones, leading people to equate refusal with meanness. The speaker reframes saying no as an act of kindness, because it prevents false hope, avoids misleading the other person, and preserves the speaker’s own values and autonomy. The overall message emphasizes the importance of maintaining personal choice and setting healthy boundaries in relationships.

Chapters

Now you tell me whether this is toxic or healthy. A person who thinks it's their job to always make their partner happy. Toxic or healthy? Toxic. It is toxic. You never owe that partner anything. Remember we talked about that earlier? So that becomes really true here. The problem is people were taught as a young child, you don't say no to people you care about. And so people think saying no is mean. So let's be clear. Saying no is one of the kindest things you can ever say in your life. Because if you're saying yes to me, you're building up my hopes and dreams you want this when you don't. You're literally misleading me. So please don't do that. That's not kind. And more importantly, you're breaking your own value for what you want or don't want. We don't want that, right? We want you to always have that choice. Way, way more valuable.