When you trust your own wants, you can't be manipulated into doing things you don't want. If you hand that trust to someone else instead, you become willing to do anything to keep them happy. The speaker warns against people who demand they get whatever they want in a relationship.
How many agree, if I know what I want and I believe that it's okay for me to want this and it's healthy, you can't talk me into something I don't want to do if I believe in myself. You can't. If I believe in myself. But if I don't believe in me and I do believe in you, do you own this relationship? Probably. I'll do whatever it takes to keep you happy. Some of them know it and they own it like they're proud of it. Like, I get whatever I want in my relationship. If a friend ever talks to you like that, you should be calling that out. Going, well, that's messed up. Why don't they get what they want? Right? We should be able to call that stuff out because that's just not healthy.
