Telling people what not to do backfires because it leaves them defiant or stuck with no alternative. Football coaches don't say "don't fumble" - they say "hold the ball." Positive instructions with a concrete action work better than prohibitions in parenting, education, and sports.
Did your parents raise you telling you what not to do? Is that how our culture has worked over the history of time? Most parents did. They not all, but most did. Did they say don't drink to teenagers? Did they tell teenagers don't engage in things like sex? Yes, they did. How'd that work? It didn't because when you tell people what not to do, what do they do? They either do it or they're lost and paralyzed because there's nothing to do. What do I do with a negative? There's nothing I can do with a negative. I work with the NFL. I work with college teams. They will never tell a running back in any professional or college level football. Hey, whatever you do, don't fumble on this next series. 'Cause what's about to happen in that series? They're gonna fumble 'cause all you did was plant the negative to grow. What they say to a running back is, hold on to the ball, secure the ball. You're giving me something to do. It's a massive difference.
