Many people apologize before saying no, especially to partners, because they fear disappointment or seem mean. But apologizing weakens your boundary and invites them to push back. Just say no clearly and stop feeling guilty about it.
Do you respect the answer? Think about how often people do ask, person answers, and they try to change the answer. By the way, do married people do this? Yes. Hey honey, you in the mood tonight? Not really. You sure? Well, now I am. That did it, right? All right, that makes no sense. How about this one? Proving the no means no. We'll go to this one. Ready? Almost everybody before they say no, proving that people don't like to be mean, say this word: sorry. Sorry, not tonight. Sorry, not feeling it. Sorry. Why are they apologizing for exercising a choice? They don't want to disappoint. By the way, some of you may be going, I do that one. Because we've been taught to, right? So if my partner or your partner says sorry tonight on you or in a week, stop and go, please never say sorry. Why would I want to do this with you if you don't want to? That's what respecting the answer looks like, right? Empowering people to know it's okay to say no is so, so important.
