Mike DomitrzPresident, Author, and Speaker on Respect, The Center for Respect, Inc. · Author & Speaker on Respect for Schools, Corporations, & the Military since 1990 (has reached

You deserve to feel empowered to say, 'No'

24 May 2024 · 1 min

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In this excerpt from Mike Domitrz's YouTube video, the speaker examines why individuals often consent to sexual activities they do not truly want. He identifies the primary reason as a desire to avoid disappointing a partner, labeling this people‑pleasing mindset as toxic because it creates an implicit sense of owing happiness to the other person. The speaker argues that saying "no" is never mean; instead, saying "yes" when one does not want to is a form of cruelty and self‑deception. By reframing consent as an exercise of personal choice rather than an obligation, he encourages listeners to feel empowered to refuse unwanted sexual advances without guilt.

Chapters

Why do people say yes to things they don't want to do sexually? What do you think is the number one reason? Yep. Number one reason. You nailed it. They don't want to disappoint their partner. By the way, is this healthy or toxic? If I think I just need to do things to keep them happy, healthy or toxic? Toxic. It is toxic because once again, it implies you owe them happiness. You don't. Saying no is never mean. If it's mean, it implies you owe them again, but you didn't owe them. So how are you being mean by exercising your choice? I would argue when you say yes and you don't want to, that's cruel. You're lying to them and you're lying to yourself.