Mike DomitrzPresident, Author, and Speaker on Respect, The Center for Respect, Inc. · Author & Speaker on Respect for Schools, Corporations, & the Military since 1990 (has reached

You don’t owe anyone an explanation,

16 Jun 2025 · 1 min

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In this brief talk, Mike Domitrz addresses the common scenario where a partner requests sexual activity and the individual says “no.” He highlights the predictable one‑word question—“why?”—that often follows a refusal, pointing out that society teaches people to justify a “no.” Domitrz asserts that no one owes an explanation for a boundary, and he offers concise, assertive responses such as “Because I said so” or “Do you not understand the word ‘no’?” He frames respecting a boundary as a matter of respect rather than attitude, emphasizing that honoring a clear “no” is essential for healthy consent.

Chapters

In the heat of the moment, your partner wants you to do something sexual. You say no. What one-word question are they about to ask you? Why? Isn't that fascinating? No one in this room was ever taken to a classroom and taught that lesson, but you all yelled the same answer. You've been taught from a young age that if I say no, especially to sexual activity, my answer will not only not be respected, not be honored, it'll be challenged and questioned. Do you ever owe someone a why? No. No. If somebody says, why? Do you ready? Here it is. Because I said so. You could follow up with this. Do you not understand the word No. By the way, is that an attitude or is that respecting your boundaries? Which one, attitude or respect? Respect. That's respecting your boundaries. Nothing wrong with respecting your boundaries.