Embracing Your Birthright to Pleasure

Then I went on a three month pleasure tour in Costa Rica and it was all about just enjoying the pleasures of life from food and sex and sunsets and everything I could possibly do. Because I really do believe that pleasure, we're built for it. We are sensorized meat suits built for pleasure. The clitoris is the only organ in the body that is literally only for pleasure. And it has what, like 10,000 times the nerve endings that a head of a penis does like, Are you kidding me? Ladies, we have a pleasure button. Foreign.

Hey badass. Welcome to Keeping It Real, the podcast where we ditch the nonsense, say it like it is, and redefine what it means to feel good in your body and your life. I'm Misty Tripoli, creator of the Groove method, and I'm here to help you move, dance and live authentically and unapologetically.

So if you're ready to break free.

From the societal expectations, embrace your truth and find own unique groove, you are.

In the right place. So let's keep it real, let's keep.

It wild, and let's keep it moving.

Many of us were never taught to own our pleasure. We were taught to give how to please others, how to be quiet and small and grateful. But no one ever said, hey, what turns you on? And I was in my late 40s before I'd realized I had spent most of my life taking what was given, especially in bed and never asking for what I really wanted. And I felt so stupid and insecure to say what I actually wanted in bed. And I could perform pleasure, but I wasn't really feeling it. And I could dance in front of thousands of people, but I couldn't actually say, hey, touch me here, touch me like this, or go slower, I want more of that, or would you do this? And I didn't even give myself permission to actually touch myself. Now I could make myself have an orgasm like that, but there wasn't a full body pleasure. It was just that quick fix. I didn't even really know what I wanted. I didn't know what I liked because I'd never actually explored my own body, never gave myself permission. So if you're listening and you've been disconnected, or if you've been performing, enduring, faking it, hiding or settling, this is your invitation to stop apologizing, to stop taking what is given, to stop waiting for permission to feel good. You want more? Then say it. You want to be touched? Touch your damn self. Pleasure is not optional. It's your fucking birthright. So if you want to go a little deeper into Your pleasure and how important it is and actually how easy it is once you get past what's going on up here. Let's go. Let's stop pretending. Most women over 50 are not sexually satisfied. We've spent decades taking what was offered, not asking for what we needed, feeling dumb for wanting more, feeling insecure in our bodies, confused, shut down, disconnected. Some of us haven't even given ourselves permission to touch ourselves in years, if ever. We've been surviving, not thriving, and feeling, you know, you can't heal what you won't feel. And if your body feels like a stranger, it's not your fault. But it is your responsibility now. Now it's time to come home to yourself. So when I was in my late 40s, I had just gone through a horrendous breakup, thinking that I had found the love of my life and this sweet man that I gave everything to and wanted to make him happy. And we'd eat whatever he wanted to eat. And I was traveling a lot for my work, teaching dance all around the world. And so I wasn't home much. And come to find out, while I was gone, he had cheated on me. And it destroyed me. Well, at least for a time. It really took me into a darkness and made me start asking big questions. And the result of what? Of that was that I realized, you know what? I'm not going to enter into another relationship until I've learned to love myself as much as I loved him and take care of myself as much as I took care of him, Prioritize my needs as much as I prioritized his needs. So I did it. I married myself. I put a ring on my finger and had a little ceremony, wrote myself some vows and said, till death do us part. Honey, I got you. I love you. I'm going to take care of you. I'm going to honor you. And I made a serious commitment to myself. And so for three years, I did. I dated myself, take myself out to dinner. I was having the time of my life. And it was wonderful getting to know myself, but there was one area that I still hadn't cracked open. And it was an area I was actually quite afraid of. And it's. Even though I was a dancer and I could move my body and I was connected to my body and things, I was not connected to my sensuality or my sexuality, I had realized that I thought sex was just whatever the guy gave you and whatever you did to him. And, you know, I grew up in a Mormon household, and I had pretty whacked out ideas about sex and sexuality and what you should do and shouldn't do and can do and can't do and judge the things that you know are a little. Whatever. That had carried through my adult years. And I realized I didn't even know what I liked. I didn't know. I mean, I could have an orgasm. That was easy. I could have done that since I was 8 years old, but I didn't know what I was doing back then. But I could make myself have an orgasm in seconds. It was easy. It was just a release. But I had never actually taken the time to get to know my body, actually, like, touch myself. And how. How do I want to be touched? What do I like? What does turn me on? I'd never asked those questions till I was in my late 40s. And even though I'd have relationships and, you know, I'd been married, all that stuff, I had sex, you know, I'd only just taken what was given, and that was what sex was for me. And then near the ending of this three years, it was very interesting. I had this deep awakening, this deep voice that said to me, misty, the next level of your spiritual awakening is going to come through your sexuality. And it freaked me out. I was scared. I was like, what? What does that mean? What do I have to do? And it came to me that I needed to learn how to touch myself. But it started with me. In fact, that's with everything. Everything starts with you. You gotta do it for yourself first if you expect. You gotta love yourself if you want someone else to love you. Like, no one's gonna be healthy for you. No one's gonna be happy for you. These are things you have to do for yourself. So it took me a couple weeks to build up the cojones to do it. But finally one day I went and bought a bottle of wine, went to the sex shop, got myself a bunch of toys, got a big old thing of coconut oil and. All right, let's do this. And it's crazy. I felt stupid. Even by myself, alone with my own body, I felt stupid. But I decided to move past it and break free from it, just like I did with dancing. That's how I broke free in dancing was. Even though I felt stupid, I was just like, okay, fuck it. Who cares? I'm doing it anyways. That's kind of the attitude I had to take with this. And as I started to touch myself and explore my body, it just blew my mind at what I really liked and how I wanted to be touched and what made me feel good. Then I just turned into a freaking masturbation fiend. And for a good three to four months it was like my full time job. And I would find anything I could play with, from fruits and vegetables to what I was on a mission to find out what could give me pleasure. And I loved it. I was just like, this is amazing. I didn't know I could feel this good. And it was such a great time for me. And then this voice that loves to guide me comes and goes. Okay, now that you've done it for yourself, now you need to practice on someone else. Which means finally asking for what you want, having someone make love to you the way that you want and asking for it and speaking it, which I, I never spoke in bed. I was terrified. I don't know, some of you guys can relate to that, but I just felt stupid to say anything in bed. You do it and you do it and it can feel good, but is this it kind of thing as well? And I was like, okay, let's see about that. And it was funny because within like two days I'm out salsa dancing and this guy comes up to me and he's, hey, how you doing? You know, and he was handsome. But I was so clear, I don't want a relationship, I don't want nothing. I just want to explore my sexuality. And he hit the jackpot. I'll tell you what, because that night we're sitting at the bar and you know, he's all trying to do the flirty flirty. And I just was straight up, listen, I don't want a relationship, I don't want a boyfriend. I'm at a place in my life where I just want to explore my sexuality. And he was like, well, you came to the right place. And it really was, it was like magic. This guy, great chemistry. And from day one, just, I was able to say what I wanted, get what I wanted, practice that, enjoy absolute pleasure. Taking myself to heights of sensuality and sexuality I didn't even know were possible, allowing myself to do things I never thought I would do, things I judged in other people. And it was heaven. I even had him travel with me around the world. And then I went on a three month pleasure tour in Costa Rica. And it was all about just enjoying the pleasures of life. From food and sex and sunsets and everything I could possibly do. Because I really do believe that pleasure, we're built for it. We are sensorized meat suits built for pleasure. I mean, you want to go even deeper into it, like the clitoris is the only organ in the body that. That is literally only for pleasure. And it has, what, like 10,000 times the nerve endings that a head of a penis does. Like, are you kidding me? Ladies, we have a pleasure button. Ding, ding, ding, ding, ding. Pleasure button. And, boy, was that fun. And during that time, I was so energized and creative and ideas, and I felt so powerful, and it was awesome. Wasn't the man I was supposed to be with. And I ended up having to let him go because he fell in love with me and wanted to get married and do the whole thing. And I was just like, I can never love you the way that you need to be loved, so I'm going to have to. You need to be loved. You deserve to be loved the way that you want to be loved. So we split up, but it served its purpose and taught me so much. And then after that, I continue to travel. And now I know how to please myself. I know how to ask for what I want. Things have changed. Baby mama growing up. And then I started to look out and see the same thing in so many women. Like I did when I first was in the fitness industry and saw just how we suffer with our bodies and women suffering with the insecurities and not being okay with their bodies and how that affects our sensuality and our sexuality and our ability to give ourselves permission to actually, really, truly feel pleasure and enjoy our lovely fucking sensorized meat suits that were built for it. And that's who I want to talk to. And if that's you, if you felt uncomfortable, if you have just taken what's been given, you've never felt comfortable asking for what you want or even giving yourself permission to touch yourself. This is where I want to help you. And one way that you can start. Here's a little secret, just to start the ball rolling, is take yourself out on a date. Date yourself, take yourself out to dinner, come home, light the candles, put the music on. Even if you feel stupid, even if you feel stupid, do it anyways. And because no one's gonna do it for you and no one's gonna move past this for you. And I just don't want you in that grave not enjoying and not experiencing what pure pleasure actually feels like. So step one, maybe put some music that you really enjoy, and maybe it's not touching yourself the first night. Maybe it's just enjoying moving your body and letting yourself flow a little bit. I recommend getting coconut oil. It's fabulous for the skin and just feeling what as you Put it on your body and it doesn't have to be sexual to start and just be sensual like just feel and sense your own skin. Feel what? Touch. How do you like to be touched? Enjoy your own you ness your own company. Because when that happens, there's a level of freedom and it's quite powerful. But then that's something that you can transition if you have a partner to teach your partner about the way you want to be touched. Let's start with you. Be brave, be bold. You're worth it. You deserve it. You're amazing. And yeah, don't wait to experience the potential of pleasure that it resides in your body. Do it for you. Take time for you. And I encourage you to be a little healthy, selfish and put your priorities at the top of your list. Not everyone else's. Yours. What do you need? What do you want? If you don't know what you want, Sit, Think about it. How do you want to feel? What do you want to do? And give yourself permission to do it. You know, a lot of sexuality stuff comes from religion and the guilt and whatever it might be. But I'll tell you this much. Whatever made us, made us sexual creatures, aposexual organs and we all are a byproduct of sex. I don't know, I think that's maybe something we're supposed to enjoy because we got that pleasure button ready to go hot and popping, baby. And I think that was a beautiful gift given to us to enjoy. So take yourself out on a date. Enjoy. Don't let any more time pass. Not enjoying being in your body. No matter your size, your shape. Learning to be and have fun in the body that you have. You know, no one's going to do it for you. You have to become your own hero. No one's going to do it for you. You have to become your own fucking hero. You can meditate all day, you can eat, clean, journal, do yoga, see your healer. But if you're still afraid to feel good in your own body, you're not free yet. So many of us are waiting for permission. Waiting to feel sexy again. Waiting for someone to choose us, touch us, wake us up. But babe, you are the one you've been waiting for. Yeah, you are path to reclamation. So start with touch. Not goal based, just curiosity. Put on music, move. Let your hips lead, Breathe through it. Say out loud, I give myself permission to feel good. My body was built to feel good. Give yourself permission to touch yourself and enjoy the sensory of your own skin. You know what? Everything is just an idea until you practice it. If you want to learn to enjoy pleasure, you gotta give yourself some pleasure. So tonight, don't clean, don't scroll, don't fix, strip down, light a candle, put your hand on your body like it's sacred and delicious. Because it is. Move. Breathe. Moan. Not for anyone else, but for you. Your pleasure is your responsibility and your fucking birthright. Be a little healthy selfish start choosing you every single time. Choose you those mystery tripoli just keeping it real.

All right fierce ones, that's a wrap for today. Thanks for keeping it real and grooving with me. If you're loving this vibe, be sure to subscribe, share and leave a review so that we can keep this movement alive. Remember, this journey is all and about you. You owning your own truth, trusting your instincts and living boldly. Stay true, stay wild, and most importantly, keep being unapologetically you. So until next time, let's keep it real.