Keepin' It Real - Q&A Living in Mexico | Episode Nine

Let's get started. So welcome to Keeping It Real, my little jungle series here. This is episode nine. My name is Misty Tripoli. So excited to be here. I love my Sunday mornings when I get to share all of the good juiciness of how I was able to create my dream home in the jungle, living off grid, living my best life, and all the shit that I had to go through to get here. So last week, we talked about how there was someone that had stolen my business and how I got it back and how that was one of the best things that happened to me because I am here today because of that. Okay. Boy, did it teach me such great lessons to stand up for myself, to adult my life, to take responsibility. Like, yeah, it was dope. It was dope. But this week, we're gonna get a little nasty. Sorry about that. But some of you need to get a little nasty because you don't give yourself permission. So anyways, let's step back just a moment. So, hi, guys. Thank you for being here. So I'm at this time in my life, okay, Went through the dark phase of my man cheating on me and my business being stolen. And I healed myself through the broken heart that I had from the love of my life. Breaking my heart, I learned to love myself. I started to date myself, and then I married myself. And I spent three years just blissed out, just enjoying being married to myself, just taking care of my own needs, what I wanted to do, making myself feel good. But like I said before, the one thing that was missing in my life that I'd always kind of just had over here was that I never gave myself permission to sensually and sexually make myself feel good. I felt stupid. I knew I didn't have an orgasm that was easy. You know, I could rub up on the corner of a table and. But a bing, but a bang. But it was just. It was a release. It wasn't sexual at all. It was just a sensation and a release. And then when sex came on the table. Now, keep in mind my history of sex, and some of you can relate to this. Number one, I grew up Mormon. Okay? So sex was a big, fat no. No. Okay? And especially if you weren't married. You did not have sex if you were not married. And that's what I did. I was a good little girl. I really. I followed the rules. I wanted to do the right thing. I did, however, get married at 18, because we. My mom. That's why we got married. My mom was like, you two are gonna have sex now. This is My mom before astrology. Okay. This was my mom when she was unconscious. And she was in the system as well. And she. You two are gonna have sex, so you better get married before that happens kind of a thing. So we did. He was 20, and I was 18, and bada bing, bada bang. Thank God. I didn't have children, but we didn't try not to. But the thing with us is that we. Yeah, we had sex, but sex was, like, nothing. Like, for me, it was like he wasn't attracted to me. I kind of knew that. Like, we. We never did anything other than missionary. We didn't know anything. I was so insecure in my body. I would not let him see me naked, like, for at least the first two years of our marriage. And I felt uncomfortable, embarrassed if I saw him naked. If I saw his penis, I would feel really uncomfortable. Like, that's how disconnected from sex and all of that. Like, it just always made me uncomfortable because I was so uncomfortable in my own body. My body was. I did not accept my body. I hated my body. I was always trying to change it. For some of you, if you're new to this story, I started throwing up when I was 14 years old, and I was bulimic for 16 years because I just. I. I hated my body. It didn't look like what it was supposed to look like on the magazines and shit. Back then, we didn't have social media. It was the magazines and MTV and shit like that. And I didn't have that body. And so I was unacceptable. I was unlovable. And so I started bulimia. So I was bulimic when I got married, he never knew. The eight years we were married, he never knew because it was my. My shameful, dirty little secret. And if you're out there and you have a disorder, the lengths that you will go to. To hide it is crazy. Like, that'll be another whole story about my whole bulimia. But just to know, just to set the stage that this is a woman, that I am disconnected from my body, even though I could dance. And I. I was a dancer, like, I could follow choreography. I was a fitness expert. I was teaching aerobics. I was like, I've been teaching aerobics since I was 14. Those two things started at the same time. And I started with step aerobics, and then I started teaching everything. So I was. I was a fitness person. I was working out, but I was so disconnected from my body. Like, I hated my body. And I only worked out to try to change My body. And I ended up really abusing my body, trying to make it fit, fit okay. Or even look fit. So here we go. I'm disconnected. And now I'm older, I've divorced. And then the first guy I date after my husband is this professional boxer. He worked at the gym that I worked at. And that dude was a stallion. I will tell you what, like his body was like, are you kidding me? And so, so when I was 26, I actually felt like I had sex for the first time because this man just worshiped my body. Like and I was juicier back then cuz I was always trying to lose weight and my body was in star in starvation and protection mode so it would store fat instead of burn it. We can talk about all that later. When your body doesn't feel safe, it's going to hold fat. It will. So that's why it's so important to regulate your inner world. If losing weight is something that you feel you need to do for your health, not for vanity, for health. Okay, So I, I'm a mess and I am completely disconnected. So this man ravished me and we had what I thought was great sex, but it wasn't. I just, he was good at what he was doing. So it was like, oh, this feels, this is nice. I enjoy this. And you know, my hormones are kicking now and I'm in those fertile years and my body's going, yeah baby, come and impregnate me. So my consciousness and awareness was always about like who's looking at me, who could be a possible mate. Like just that awareness that was outside of myself and but the thing is I just, I let him do what he wanted and I was trying to learn how to please him. I didn't know how to please a man. Are you kidding me? Like penises made me uncomfortable. But when I saw his and I saw his body, I was like, what? I would make him stand naked and just stand and rotate because I was like, how is this body even possible? Like his glute to hamstring looked like a frickin thoroughbred. Like ah. But that ended because we didn't have any other connection. Like he wasn't like, I'm a very, I'm a very intellectual deep woman, I think, and I need someone that's going to stimulate my brain. And he could not stimulate my brain. So I just, I lost interest. But now my sexuality was wake, was kind of woken up finally at the age of 26. But all I did for the next 15, 20 years was just have Sexual. Like, I'd meet a dude that was hot and if he paid attention to me and then we had sex, it was like, oh, okay. Even though it was kind of like, what was that? Or what is this? Or this one? That was uncomfortable. And I never asked for what I wanted. Never. I just. I just took what was given to me. I didn't. I didn't feel comfortable enough to be like, hey, do it like this. You know, Touch me like this. This is what I need. If you want to make me have an orgasm, this is what you have to do. Trust me, they want to know. But I was. I. No way would my mouth open. I wouldn't even make sex noises. I felt so stupid. Like I would hold everything in. Yeah. Kind of crazy. And then, you know, I go through this. I have this lovely relationship with this man. Breaks my heart. So that's the history, all these things. There's certain things that are. Are no no's and are taboo. Taboo and that you do not do. There's so many things that I judged about sex. People that had, you know, little erotic, you know, fetishes. That. That was somehow wrong, right? It was bad. That was. That was evil. And so I had this fucking fucked up mind about what sex was and what pleasure was and all of this. So as I'm healing from this broken heart and I'm marrying myself and I'm having the time of my life, and I really am alive. I'm loving my life. I'm loving myself. I'm learning to really love and take care of myself and enjoy being alone and, you know, spoiling myself, taking myself out to dinner. And then this deep voice comes to me, this knowing that has guided me all along. These big moments of knowing came to me that said, your next level of spiritual awakening will be through your sexuality. And I about shit my pants. I scared the shit out of me. I was like, oh, God. That is the one area I don't take care of. I neglect. I ignore it because I was at the point where I was marrying myself. But I wasn't having sex with myself. I was just. I wasn't even having orgasms. I was having so much fun in my life. I didn't even that, like, part of my life was. But I started to realize how much pleasure I could have in my life. But from, you know, the waist down, it was pretty cobwebby, you know what I'm saying? So this scared me. I didn't know what to do. I didn't know what that meant. And that was Terrifying to me. But it just kept nagging at me. And so I was like, okay, I have to. I know that I have to do this. Like, I've. I've neglected this part of myself. I felt totally stupid. But what I did is finally one day I went to a sex shop and I bought a bunch of sex toys. Just. I didn't know what I was even looking at. I was just like, give me that, that, that, and I'm gonna go home and figure this shit out. And got a bottle of wine, smoked a little doobie, put my music on, got a thing of coconut oil. And I felt ridiculous. Even though I was home alone by myself, there's no person there to see me. I still felt uncomfortable. But it's the same thing that I've done with all the things that I've overcome in my life is even if it makes me uncomfortable, I know I need to do it. So I'm gonna face that and just sit with the discomfort and let it be uncomfortable until I can get past it. So I start just. It's not sex at first. First it was just feeling the texture of my own skin. I would put coconut oil as if someone else was touching me. Like, oh my God, that's what my skin feels like. Feel how soft my skin is. I'd never, like, touched my. And I just started just here. I just started just this, like, touching my own skin and just sensing. And then I put more pressure in it and I started to massage and rub myself and I started to like play with the. My boobies. And I got so turned on, I tell you, like, my body came alive. And then I started to really play with myself. I started to pleasure myself. I started to explore floor my body. And it felt so good. I was like, why have I not been doing this? And why have I not asked someone to do it for me or with me? And. And we're talking like, I'm in my 40s now. Like somewhere in my 40s. Like 45 maybe. Yeah, like most of my life, not enjoying, like really enjoying something. Sensuality, sexuality and pleasure. But I knew I had to learn to do it to myself first before I could do it outside of myself. Well, I'll tell you what, Mama turned him to a masturbation fiend. Like, it was my full time job for months. I was on a hiatus. I had like a two, three month gap where I was home and I didn't have to travel, which was very unlikely. And I was just. I had nothing to do. So that's all I Did all damn day, like. And I'm still trying to date myself. But I couldn't get myself out of the house because I was having so much fun. I was. I was everything I could possibly find. Fruits, vegetables, hangers, anything I could find in my apartment that I was like, how can I make this pleasure me? Like, what can I do with it? And I got lost in sensation and texture and just all of it. I was just kind. Eating this up, making myself. I was so organ. I was so. My body was so alive and so on fire. It. Yeah. I don't even know what to tell you, man. I discovered things about myself and another thing I allowed myself to do, which was interesting is I've always been against pornography. And I don't agree really with porno. I think it can really damage your brain and it can become very addictive. But I was so judgmental towards any type of alternative sexuality that one day I was like, you know what? I don't actually really know what I want and what I like and what turns me on, so let me go do some exploration. So I went on one of these free porn websites and most of the stuff I was just like, oh, God. Oh God. Like, it just made me uncomfortable. I was like, that's not my thing. But there were some things that I saw that. The moment I saw it, my whole body went now. Interesting that I couldn't ignore that. And I was like, why does that make my body get so excited? Like, I didn't choose that. So I started to realize that desires who you are, the nature of your little unique makeup and what makes you excited and what turns you on and what, you know, drives you is unique to everyone. And so I. I didn't judge it. Now this is something I would have judged in another person. I would have been like, people that do that shit. People that do that shit are. They must be a little fucked up. Hey, Poncho. Poncho, come here, buddy. Normally they never bark. Poncho is okay, buddy. And so I. I explored it. And the more I saw, I was just like, I want to try this. So I started to do it to myself. Now I'm not going to. I'm not going to tell you what it was. Go do your own exploration and see what turns you on. But it was something I judged. Yeah. And I was like, oh, God. So I started learning how to do it to myself. And I was taking courses online and I was, you know, I was just diving into it and it was just so erotic to me. And I was Now I was in this erotic mode. I was like, oh, my God, this is amazing. And then I had the next wave of knowing was, now this voice, this thing inside of me says, now you need to. All this stuff that you've learned. Now you know what you like. Now you know what turns you on. Now you know what you want. Now it's time to do it with another person. And I was like, oh, God. God, no. Like that. Another level of just terrifying. I was like, I finally just got comfortable with myself. Leave me alone. But I knew I had to do it. I knew that this was the next phase of asking for what I want. Owning my body, owning my sensuality, owning my sexuality, and being willing to communicate that to someone else without fear or feeling stupid, that there's nothing wrong with it. And so, of course, I was like, yeah, yeah, yeah, whatever. Okay. Tried to ignore it. But no, but, no. So within about, I don't know, a week to two weeks, I've taken myself out salsa dancing. And by the way, during this masturbation sesh thing, when I would go out salsa dancing, I could only stay for a few minutes, and I was like, I have to get back home. Like, my body's going get back home. You got work to do, babe. You come. But this night, I was like, okay, I want to dance. So I go out dancing, and I see this guy on the dance floor. He's handsome, a Mayan dude. Like, Mayan, just stocky and thick and beautiful bronzed skin and just like. Like a man. And I don't know why, but I'm not normally. Whatever. And I watch him salsa dancing, and he's a fun little salsa dancer. I'd never seen him before, and. But when I watched him, he was putting on a show for everybody. It was like, you know, he wasn't even looking at the girl. He was putting on a show and seeing who was looking for him. And then he sees me. He comes and asks me to dance. And I was like, okay, so we're dancing. Same thing. He's just checking out. Who's checking him out? We all know that. That feeling. And he's not even paying attention to me. And I finally just stopped dancing. And I was like, are you dancing with me or are you putting on a show? Because if you'd rather put on a show, I'm gonna go sit down. I'll wait till the show's over. And then for the rest of the song, he was like, beam eyes on me. It's like, okay, there we go. And then, thank you for the dance. That was lovely. And I go and sit down at the bar. He follows right behind me, sits down and, you know, he's got some chains on and he's got some earrings on, he's got his tattoos and. But he. I mean, he's a handsome dude. He's super handsome. But this stuff, I was just like, you've got more jewelry on than I do. And I actually said that to him. Why do you realize you have more jewelry on than I do? Like. And he's like, wait, you don't like that? And I'm like, you know, I. You can do whatever you want, but I think a natural man is a sexy man. He fucking takes everything off, puts it down. He's like, is that better? Like, yeah, actually, you look a lot better. I can actually now focus on your face and not the bling on your chest. And you actually have a very handsome face. Like, cool. And then he starts, you know, flirty, flirty. And I said, hey, listen, I am not interested in a boyfriend. I do not want a relationship. But I will tell you what, what I'm interested in right now is exploring my sexuality. And he just looks at me and he's just like. Like he'd hit the jackpot, which he did. And he's like, oh. And I said, I'm looking for someone to explore with that I can trust that, you know? I don't know. I don't know why. Like, the first night right there, I just felt. I just knew it was interesting. I felt safe with him from, like, the moment. It was weird. I just knew. I was just like, I need to tell this guy that's. And he's like, I'm in, I'm in. Let's do this. And of course, he was probably doing cartwheels all the way home. Yeah. And the next night, he came over and I got a three hour massage. Not even sex the first night. I was just like, I'm gonna get everything I want. And he was more than happy to accommodate whatever I wanted. He was just waiting for my next fantasy. And I was always very clear with him. Always. I do not want a relationship. Do not fall in love with me. I don't want a boyfriend. I don't want to feel like I have a boyfriend. Like, let's just make this clear. And I was always very clear. I never loved him. I never, like, had that love like I've had before. I loved our sex. I loved our connection. I'd love that I could express myself and be free sexually with him, but I knew he wasn't my man. I just knew that that's what this was. Well, that thing lasted three years and he, I called him my sex life. And he loved it. I was just like, I'd introduce him. Yeah, this is, this is the man and he's my sex life. And he was proud of it. Like, yeah, I'll do anything she wants. And he did literally anything. Now at the same time, this is also because now I'm. I'm not just alive on so many levels of just owning who I am, but now I'm tuned into my sexual energy. Holy. Is that powerful? That is the creative force of the universe. It's what, it's what births and creates babies. It's what's birthed everything. That sexual energy that resides down in here when you activate it and you can get it into your body, the creativity, like I was, I was on an. I still am there. That's what I mean. That shifted me to another level. Like, holy moly. The creativity that was coming through me. The, the freedom, the peace, the, the power. I felt so powerful. And this is also when I started doing the Abraham Hicks and changing my, my reprogramming my brain around money. Because like I was saying, my life was awesome. I was making enough money to survive, but I wasn't thriving. I wasn't wealthy. I didn't have extra. I had enough to live comfortably and that's it. In a little cheap apartment in Mexico without a car, without anything. I didn't have any bills. I was debt free, but my bills were like $1,000 a month. Okay. So I could live and relax. But I wasn't making that much. Like enough to pay my employees a little bit. Not even what they were worth. A little bit. And enough to maybe, you know, none of it was left over for me, for my company. For years I was making money with Nike. So I tell you what, sexuality and sexual energy is power. And that's when I started doing this stuff. And my money just started. I became the frequency of abundance. And I knew it. I felt it. I could feel avalanches of wealth and pleasure coming to me. I could feel it in my body as if it was happening. And I even, you know, he didn't have a lot of money. And so I even decided, I'm going to take us on a pleasure tour. He had, he paid for his own life, but he didn't have an extra money to let go on a trip. So I funded that. So I took him on a three month pleasure tour through Costa Rica. Are you kidding me? Yeah. And I was able to do that. Freaking awesome. I had the money, I had extra money. I bought my first home in California. I was like, I've never seen money like this. I had to start doing something with it because one of these episodes I'm gonna talk about money and how money wants to dance. You have to use money, you have to create with it. And that's how it grows and expands, is when you use it, you don't hold on to it and are afraid. Because when I first started getting money, I was terrified like that I was gonna lose it. And I had to really work on. Because that would block it. I had to work on how to continually receive, but then use my money in a creative way. And so that's kind of where we're gonna pick up next week as I'm gonna talk about what I started to do with my money and how I started to make it dance and multiply and how it started to continue to grow. So, yeah, what's our time? Oh, yeah, we're like, it goes by so fast. We've been on for like 26 minutes. So I'm gonna end it here. And what I encourage you to do is I, I say this because I traveled the world and I have worked with tens of thousands of women that are disconnected from, from their bodies. They might work out, they might do everything, but they live from their head up. They live in everything that they think about it and never actually get down into the body and be in your body. Your body is your pleasurized meat suit. And you may, like me, have weird beliefs or religious dogma that's blocked you or rules or you don't like your body, you don't like what it looks like. You, you, you, you got to get past it and do it anyways. And when you start to do it, you'll start to. Because you're showing your body. You're, you're, you're, you're training in training your brain, your deep rooted systems that you're safe, that you're okay in your arms, that you feel good, that you appreciate yourself. And then that can start to move into other areas of your life, through your health, through your relationships, when you really start to own you, own you, be you 1000% authentic in all of the areas of your life, from your sexuality, your relationships, how you express yourself. That is your superpower. People ask me, I've gained over 300,000 followers in less than two months. And you know what I did? I just started posting my authentic self and being raw and real and not trying to filter and not trying to be like anything else and boom. And I think that's because we as human beings, you out there, we are desperate for authenticity because it is magnetic and it is powerful. So part of what I'm doing here on social media, not just telling my story and sharing my off grid life and all that, is to inspire, inspire or help you reconnect to your own power so that you can create the, the life that you dream. And I'm actually thinking of doing an online workshop if anyone's interested, if that's something that interests you, let me know. I lead these groove in my life online, like a Saturday afternoon. We spend the afternoon together online and I go through all of these techniques and I get you into the mindset of how and what it looks like to create the blueprint of your life on your terms, your way. And it's ridiculously simple. So I'm thinking of putting that workshop together. If you're interested, let me know and if so, I'll create it and we'll, I'll let you know how to, to register for it. But anyways, I love you guys. Thank you for listening. Don't just love yourself, love yourself. Squeeze your boobies whether you got them or not. And give your ass a little love and too. So have a beautiful Sunday. Go tweet your tweeter and I'll see you next week.