Keepin' It Real - Q&A Living in Mexico | Episode Six

Come on, let's talk about sex, baby let's talk about you and me let's talk about all the good things that may be let's talk about sex let's talk about sex let's talk about sex let's talk about sex yeah, let's talk.

About yeah, let's talk about it welcome. Hi, everybody. Thank you for being here. This is Keeping It Real. I'm Misty. Tripoli. This is, I think, episode six. We're just starting on this journey. So the first few episodes, if you're new to this, you can go back and find them on my highlight reel. The first episodes all deal with moving to Mexico, all the questions about immigration and how to buy land and all of that. So those first few episodes cover that. Last week we started to talk about what I did and how I shifted my inner world to start creating money and receiving abundance and having enough to build my dreamland out in the jungle or my dream home out in the jungle. And so today, yeah, it's going to be juicy. We're going to talk about not just sex, but relationships. Sex are part. Sex is part of a relationship, but it's not the relationship. And if it is, it's not going to be very solid. So, anyways, hi, guys. Stephanie, Barbara, thank you for being here. Vicki. Awesome. So, all right, you guys, let's jump right in. So hopefully I have enough of a connection. Let me take my phone offline so that we don't utilize any WI fi capabilities. At all. So today. Oh, today. So through this story that I've been sharing with you is. Yeah, I was in la. I had a massive awakening at that point. I was at rock bottom. I was in complete misery, and I was $75,000 in credit card debt. I was supporting my boyfriend, which I saw tended to be. My pattern is being the one that was financially holding the household together and I was funding his life back when I woke up. And this part of my awakening was also awakening to my patterns in relationship. Like, what? What am I doing? Like, what do I want? What the fuck's going on here? Like, I'm just giving my time and attention to the one that's giving their time and attention to me and thinking that that was love and not really. I mean, I didn't know because I didn't know myself. Like, I was just doing the thing. You know, you be in a relationship and this is just what you do, but you don't know yourself. And this is why I think people shouldn't get married till after they're 30. You need to learn a few things about yourself. And I think that's why divorce rate is so high. Like I've been like 60% now. So, anyways, I was married, by the way. I was married from 18 to 26. I was married for eight years. Okay. And he was a wonderful man, very good man. But when you get married when you're 18, I was Mormon, living in Utah. It's what you do. So I did what you do, you know, following all the. The shit, not questioning anything, just doing the right thing. I'm all about doing the right thing. And so after I divorced, we divorced because we ended up realizing we were just roommates. We were just roommates. Wasn't that we didn't like each other or that, you know, we just was like, what, I don't want to be with you, you don't want to be with me? We really, like, you're cool, you're cool. But, yeah, peace out. It was really easy divorce. It was nothing. It was, you know, and my, my tendency to start to take care of men didn't happen until after that relationship. All the men I had, I dated after him, had no money. But he was a very responsible man. He worked, he built us a house. Like, great provider, cool dude. In fact, funny story, his second ex wife contacted me on Instagram and said, hey, I'm so and so Tripoli. And I was like, oh, my gosh. She's like, I was married to Brian too. I was kind of funny, but like, weird because that's a whole part of my life. I don't even remember, nor does it matter. So I'm. I'm now, you know, on my own, whatever. And I'm with this guy, we're engaged to be married. I'm supporting him, I'm living in la. I'm literally up to here in debt. I don't know what the fuck I'm gonna do. And I'm making six figures a year. Like, I'm making good money, but living in Beverly Hills, driving a Volvo, you know, supporting this guy's life, Like, I just, I couldn't. I couldn't hold it all together. And when I woke up and one of these episodes, I will tell you about the day that I woke the fuck up. Like, my whole life changed in one day. In one day. I woke up that I was in a matrix. I saw the fucking Matrix. I was like, I've been lied to since I was born. What am I doing? Who am I? What. What is going on here? Like, I started to marvel at My own existence. And so I woke up that I was like, this is not. I was really clear. I started to set really clear boundaries in my life. And one of them was that I realized with this man, I was like, I'm not responsible for you. Like, you should be contributing at least half. Like, that's fair. I'm all about being fair. So being fair, you should at least be paying half the rent. You should be paying half. Like, that's fair. You're an able body, human. You're smart. You can work. But he loved to play video games, and he was a basketball player and only made money when he could get a gig playing basketball somewhere in the world. Cool dude, though. Very smart. Very smart man. And I just. I told him, I said, hey, listen, bud, if you can't pay, you can't stay. So, like, I know we're engaged to be married, but I'm not gonna go into a marriage like this. You are responsible for half of everything in this household. I will no longer carry the weight. I won't. I love my. I love myself too much, and I love you too much to hate you. And if I have to keep carrying this weight, I will hate you. And I don't want to go there. So this is the way it has to be. The next day, he was gone. He disappeared without a trace. And we'd been together for four years. Living together for four years. Gone. You goes. Normally, there's this breakup back and forth, and, you know, you're texting each other. I miss you. Disappeared. And this is before, we only had those little. Like, we could only text each other, you know, and he just tossed his phone and started over. And I had no way to contact him. I had. It was really interesting. And part of learning what I learned about relationships started in that moment of awakening. I was like, whoa, who. Who am I in relationship? Like, what does this even mean? And a really cool thing I did was I started to study with a woman by the name of Alison Armstrong. You can look her up. She's an expert on relationships. She has interviewed tens of thousands of men. And the information and wisdom that she brings into her workshops and is, bar none, the best. Shit changed the way that I thought about men. It changed everything for me. And, you know, because she's like, you know, most men are not emotionally available. And the reason why is because they don't feel safe. Because we, as women, unfortunately, we have this knack of. What's the word? Dominating the conversation. And when we're. We're not. When we're listening. We're not really listening. What we're doing is we're processing what they're saying to see if there's something that we might be able to use against them in the future or what that means to you so that you can say what all of that means to you or whatever that might be. And not really listening. And so they don't feel safe to share because we tend to throw what they say back in their face. And I was that person. When I went to her workshops, I woke up that I was a like, who would want to be in a relationship with me? Like, I am a like. And I was just. I looking. I could look at my older self. I could look at that self and be like, wow, how mean I was. I never listened. I was always on attack. I was like, it's really interesting. And. But I didn't know this until he was gone. I didn't realize I was. I was so mean to him with the little smirks and the little. The eye rolls and the constant letting him know that I was disappointed in him. And. And then I looked around at all my friends, and I realized that's how they are in all of their relationships. I can see, like, the little comments or the, you know, the disappointment and making it obvious because nothing's ever good enough, right, ladies? Nothing they do is ever good enough. At least that's the way it was for me. Didn't matter what they. What he did, it was never good enough. Okay, so, I mean, like, I woke up to, like, whoa. And then learning how, like, to talk to men. Like, she's like, don't ask a man what he feels about something. We women, we express or we experience the world through our emotions. It's like she says, it's like a different organ that we have that's, like, right here. And. And we do. Things aren't what we think about them. Things are how we feel about them. But for men, it's what they think about it then it's not that they don't have a feeling about it, but the feeling a lot of times comes after there is a feeling there, but it's typically what they think about it. So she's like, if you ever really want to talk to a man, just ask him what he thinks thinks about that. Don't ask him what he feels, because then he's got to go in and get all emotional, and then he doesn't want to. That's too scary from the things I've learned. So if anyone out there has Other information, let me know. But this is what I learned, and this is what I applied. And. Wow. And. And then she was just talked about how men don't trust us because we are mean and that we expect them to behave like us, you know, in a way. And so I'm talking about traditional male, female thing. Like, I don't want to go into some political weird thing. I'm talking about just the traditional male, female, man, woman kind of thing. And so I got an opportunity. A year later, someone told me that he was in town. This guy that I had been so mean to. I was so mean to him. And he said, he's in town and I can get a hold of him for you if you want. And I was like, yeah, I actually really wanted to talk to him. I actually owe him an apology. Even though he lived off of me, he, like, that wasn't cool, and that wasn't. But I. Wow. Do I now see and take responsibility for who I was in that relationship? So I was able to meet him, and it was beautiful because we actually, there was. I didn't realize how much he loved me. I thought because he disappeared, he never really loved me. He was just living off of me, and he just wanted, like, he just wanted the free ride. But come to find out that that wasn't it because he didn't really. He never cared about money. It was really interesting. I did. He didn't. He. He just said I had to disappear because I. I couldn't give you what you wanted and what you needed. And I knew if I ever even heard your voice or anything, I would come back and it would just be like, I couldn't do it. And it gave me the opportunity. I got down and I said. And I just started to sob, and I apologize. I said, I'm so sorry for the woman that I was with you. Like, I now realize, like, how did you. How did you survive this relationship? Like, he's like, because I always knew beyond all of that, you. I. He always called me his legal eagle. And he goes, because you always do the right thing. You're always fair. And I see that in you. You do the right thing. That's what drives you, and that's why you're my legal eagle. And you were always my legal eagle. And he loved that about me, but yet I was completely unconscious. He was conscious. I was not, so. But he loved that, that I was driven by a higher, like, standard or whatever that might be. So that was beautiful. Got to beautifully end that. And then now I'm Getting signed with Nike, I think I shared that. So I had quit my job already. So some of you, this might be jumping around, but I had already quit my job. I didn't know what I was going to do. I got signed by Nike as an elite fitness athlete to travel the world and teach. And I was able to share this dance, this groove thing that I do all around the world. Like, Nike just opened the doors for me. So now I'm doing this. I'm making enough money. I'd already claimed bankruptcy, so the weight of the bills was off my back. And all I had to do was, you know, pay rent and just live. And so with Nike, I was able to do that, but I had no extra. I didn't have. I didn't. I had no money. And this is when my business started. I started really focusing on building the world groove movement. Met lots of amazing women who ended up being my master trainers. And there's someone that I met, a woman that I met in Canada that asked to help me build the business. Because I was traveling the world so much and teaching, I couldn't. I didn't have time to, like, build the website. And this is way back when where you couldn't just put in a prompt and have it build it for you. This was when, like, you had to sit and plan it and design it and you had to do all the legal paperwork and you have to get. Get the copywriting and you have to get the trademarks and all of the business part of building a business. And I'm a dancer. I was out here, like, in La La Land, traveling the world, dancing. I had just woken up to myself. I'm living my best life, really enjoying what I'm doing now. I'm really enjoying. Bulimia disappeared, like, just stopped. And so I'm free of, like, the obsessive addiction to food and exercise that's gone. And I'm really enjoying my life. Meet this girl. So then. And this is how I ended up in Mexico, by the way, this next lover, this next love of my life. So. But I've been single for a while, enjoying learning about myself and knowing who I am and discovering really cool things about myself. I'm finding the authentic, real Misti, and it's wonderful. And I'm applying all these things I've learned from Byron, Katie, like, how to communicate with men, how to make them feel safe, you know, all of these things. And I'm applying it, and it's magic. In any person I meet within literally 20 minutes of meeting a Man, I've got him sharing his deepest thoughts about me. Or not about me, but thoughts about life and emotion and dreams. And like, men would just open themselves up to me, like wildly. And it's because I would just provide the space for them to listen and I would ask deeper questions. And then I made a promise to myself that I would never ever again. I had to promise myself this. I would never ever again when someone shared something with me in confidence that I would never, ever use that against them. I'll never do that again. I'm aware of this now. I will never do that again. I'm not going to, I'm not going to throw shit back in people's faces. I want them to feel like that when they talk to me. They can trust me and they can. They're safe with me. And that was important to me. So as I'm applying this, I end up going down to Puerto Vallarta on a vacation, a salsa vacation. Because at the same time, I'm now addicted to salsa. I'm out salsa dancing every night of the week all around the world. The first thing I do when I go to a new city is literally get on Facebook and find out where the nearest salsa, salsa club was. So I would teach all my classes and then at night I would go salsa dancing all around the world. Like, I'm now a complete addict, like hardcore. If I. Seven nights a week, if I could, like, yeah, mama, Mama was crazy on salsa. I was a salsa holic, literally. And I loved it because I loved the dancing, but I love the connection. Like I love dancing with another person. It was like, ah, this is the best. And so go to Puerto Vallarta to dance salsa. And it's the last night of a seven day vacation. And every night if there wasn't salsa while I was waiting for the salsa, because in, you know, Mexico, it started later, like it was at like 10 or 11 o' clock at night. So during the day I had some time to kill. So I would put on my ipod and I would go down to the beach. Now it's a public beach. This is where all the tourists are hanging out, you know, getting ready for the sunset. And I'm out there with my ipod on, losing my mind, just lost, not giving a shit. I'm as if I'm there by myself. I'm the crazy lady losing her shit on, out on the sand, rolling around, digging holes, blah, screaming like it just, I'm there alone in my mind because I don't give a shit what anyone thinks. About me. I was like, I'm free. Say what you will, but mama free, mama don't care. And this last night, I was dancing. I look around and I notice this guy is, like, circling me. Not in a creepy way, but just, like, he's got his distance, but he's just kind of like, just fascinated. Not in the weird, perverted. He's fascinated with what I'm doing. And I notice him out the corner of my eye. And a little while later, I notice him again in a different position. And I'm like, what's going on with this? And I get done dancing, and I sit down, I take my ipod off the scene. Sun is setting. And by the way, I've created a whole set of videos of me dancing. Sunsets and sunrises all around the world that I've turned into these kaleidoscopal art pieces that saved me from the heartbreak of this relationship that I want to start sharing with you. I filmed them years ago and edited them. And that's what healed me from part of. What healed me from the loss of this love. And I'm going to share those with you in part of my story because it means these mean a lot to me, and they're just awesome. But it's me dancing at sunsets and sunrises all around the world. So, anyways, get finished. That was a little side note. We get finished or I get finished and I'm. I take my. Just watching and I look over, and he's really close, and he's staring at me. And he's just got this smile from. His whole face is smiling, and I'm just like, you want to talk to me? And he comes on over. He's like, yeah. And he comes on over, and he doesn't speak English and I don't speak Spanish. And we just sat there and smiled at each other for probably 30 minutes, laughing and smiling and trying to say a word or two of English or Spanish and try to just. And just fell in love with each other. It was wild. I saw him, he saw me. He was just like. He was riveted by me. And that feeling of having someone just adore you, like, I'd never had that in my whole life. Like, he just adored me. He just. You're the most magical creature I've ever seen kind of a thing. And. And he was that for me as well. So this can get juicy. I'm 38 years old. He's 22. Yeah, Mama, I know. I know. That was some crazy cougar. I know. But. Oh, Was it great? And did I need that in my life? So we're. We figured out that, okay, I'm going to be salsa dancing. I could like. I could say some numbers and stuff like this in salsa. He knew what salsa was and I could mimic stuff. So we figured out I was gonna be at this salsa club that he knew and if he wanted to join us to salsa dance that night. So I'm thinking he may or may not show up, whatever. I'm not really sure because we don't really. The language thing was horrific. And I didn't realize, but I was a half an hour late. And he had been there, sitting outside on the little tables outside waiting for me, and had almost just got up and left because he thought I'd ditched him. And I pull up and he sees me in this big smile. And we danced till 6am and we didn't just dance salsa. We danced through the entire city of Puerto Vallarta. He was crazy. Like me. He did not give a shit. We were dancing on park benches, going from club to club, dancing on tables. We were like. It was. We were dripping sweat, just. It was amazing. And I just was like, this is the best night of my life. So of course that amplifies the feelings. And that night I went back to his place and we just sat there and stared at each other and stared at the stars. And we didn't have sex. We just. And that was my last night. I was leaving the next day. So we figure I'd like to stay in touch. And I was in love. Mama was. I was done. I was cooked. Cooked. Like this was. I would think about him and my whole body would just flutter. I'd never felt that in my whole life. And I was like, oh, my God. Like, just this. I just adored him. And I just. We would sleep with Skype on. This is when Skype was around. We would. We would go to bed, like talking and trying to talk, using translators or anything that we could and staring at each other and wake up to each other on Skype. Like, no. We were like. We were obsessed because I was traveling all around the world and so. And I lived in la. I didn't live in Mexico, I lived in la. So this was continuing. And it was delicious. So after about a year, every time I would travel with Nike, every time I came home, the first thing I would do is buy a ticket and go down to visit him. And we would travel all around Mexico. And he showed me this beautiful country and the culture and his family and the foods and just I was falling in love with this country. Like, I was just like, this, this just. It's so beautiful and the people and the things and all of it. So for a whole year that had happened, I'd probably come down about six or seven times. And now my business is building and people are saying, misty, we want you to run a retreat. We want you to run a retreat. Like, it's time to do a retreat. And I was like, okay, you're right. They just wanted to get together and dance because this groove thing is so fun that they're like, yeah, we need a retreat where we're just doing this. And I was like, okay. So I decided I would come and check out Tulum to do retreats. Now this was 17 years ago. That was a long ass time ago. I've been doing retreats for a long time. A lot of you guys don't even know I do that kind of stuff. Totally. I do an annual retreat every year where we get sometimes 80, 90 people that come and we just groove our asses off and have so much fun. So anyways, there'll be more of that coming. So we're in Tulum and I find a place to do my retreat. We come to Playa del Carmen. He's got some. Because he was a professional cave diver and diver and he was also into like apnea. He could like free dive, hold his breath for like six minutes. Like the dude was. He would, he would go spear hunting and bring me back a lobster and then cook it for me. Like this man was. We had so much fun. Like, we never fought and he just. And I applied all the things I learned from Alison Armstrong. We were just like, it was so, like, I was just. I. Yeah, it was awesome. And we love to just talk. We would talk for hours and hours and he wanted to learn English. So. And this is why the first couple years all I spoke was English because that's what, for him, it was more important that he learned English. Because here, if you learn English, it'll provide you greater opportunity to make more money. So he's like, we're only going to speak in English. I need to learn English. Of course, having a lover that speaks that language, it's the best way to learn. Yes. And we were, oh, my God, we had so much fun. And we continue to travel. So this is why, when in la, I just was like, what am I doing here? What am I doing here? I don't need any of this. I don't want to pay this rent anymore. I don't need to be here. And the moment I came to Playa del Carmen with my man, I never wanted to leave. And it was the first place. I had circled the globe 15 times with Nike. I'd been everywhere. It was the first place I ever felt at home. I felt at peace. I felt comfort. I felt this yearning. I did not want to leave. And he looks at me and he goes, I don't want to leave. And I said, I don't want to leave either. But I have an apartment in LA and a car. And, like, I've got a life there, but I don't give a shit about that anymore. I just want to be here like that. It's as if that life didn't even exist for me anymore. It was gone. I didn't care about it at all anymore. This life was so full and so yummy and so rich and so alive. And so. It was easy for me. I literally just went home, gave away everything, called my friends and family and said, come, take it all. Just come take whatever you want. I don't care about any of this stuff anymore. None of this has any meaning to me. This is a whole other life. Take it. And it was awesome. Because now I get to go to their houses and their apartments and I see my stuff all over the place, and it's awesome. Got rid of everything, down on my suitcase, headed back to Mexico. Took me two weeks. And he and I lived together for five years, and it was lovely. However, during those five years, he would say to me all the time, because I was gone all the time. Like, I would be home for a weekend, and then I'd be gone for three weeks. I'd be home for a week. I'd be gone for a month. I'd be like. It was. I was not home at all. And he kept saying, I want my girlfriend here. Like, I need you here. And he's in his 20s, hormones raging like a motherfucker. And we're in Playa del Carmen, where everybody walks around pretty much naked. They're not. But it's just bikinis, G strings. Like, you can walk into a nice restaurant in a fucking G string. And it's normal in Playa del Carmen. Like, clothing. Like, I'm just saying. It is. It is. Yeah. It's not a good place to have a relationship, let's just say. But anyways. Oh, my God. I don't even know how long we've been talking. Oh, my God. It's almost 30 minutes. I'm gonna go two more minutes, and then we're gonna. This might be a three episode thing. Okay. So anyways, let me close it up right here because this one's juicy. So, yeah, we're living in Playa, I'm gone all the time. And he is telling me, he's telling me and he's just like, I need you here. It is really difficult for me when you're not here. Like I. And basically we'll end this with he ended up cheating on me several times. And I went into the darkest place I'd been. Like, talk about dark night of the soul. Like, my heart literally hurt in like the physical pain in my body and how I came up, how I actually overcome all of that. So we're gonna end there and I'm gonna actually tell you how that whole thing came about. How I found out he was cheating on me and then what I did to heal my heart and to learn to actually find myself and love myself the way that I loved him. And that is super important. And anyone that's on any journey to living your best life is learning to love yourself. Fall in love with yourself. You are the person that you have been waiting for your whole life. Be a champion for your love, for your health, for your wellness, for your happiness, for your freedom, for whatever it is you want to do in your life. Yeah. And that's next week. I'm gonna share that whole thing and all the awakenings I had and what I did and the steps and the techniques and all the things that I did to get me to the point where I loved myself, I knew myself, but I didn't yet love myself. So we'll continue that next week before we end. Just thank you guys for being here. It's really awesome. I don't want to like, I'm only gonna go about 20 to 30 minutes each week because Sunday's the day I want you to go enjoy your day. Go be out in the nature. Go have fun. I'm also promised you guys music. So this next week I'm preparing all my Spotify playlists for you. And then by next week you'll be able to find on my link tree my Spotify playlist link to all of my delicious music from my dinner cooking dinner playlist, to my pre groove party playlist, to my meditation playlists and my, you know, just having ambient high frequency music on. I'll share all those things with you. So that's coming soon, so stay tuned and I'll see you guys next week for how to love yourself. Because that's the most important relationship in your life. So I love you guys. Can you join without a video the first time? I don't know. Anyways, hi from Israel. Hi guys. Thank you for being here. Really awesome. And your support. Share this with your friends. If any of this resonates and you think it might help them or if you see yourself in any of this that I've been sharing with you. And if you didn't join, if you didn't join my dance party this month, you better be there next month. We had so much fun. We had several hundred people from all around the world dancing with me online yesterday. So there's you can the link is also in my link tree. It's the Groove. The Global Groove Dance Party. You can register for it and we'll email you when the next one is. We do one once a month. So. Because I'm telling you, dance is a way to discover yourself in a powerful way. And I the way that I do it. My superpower on this planet is dance. And the way that I use it as a secret weapon to help people wake up the up. And I don't do it in an airy fairy way. And I don't do it in a woo wee fooey way. I do it by shaking your ass. And you will wake up. I'll promise you that. So anyways, love you all. Thanks for being here. Ciao for now.