A short, humorous spoken-word/sketch-style YouTube piece that satirizes contemporary diet and fitness trends. A single performer voices multiple characters (friends at a workout/coffee setting) who tout vegan, paleo, gluten-free, IIFYM, fat-free and sugar-free claims, exposing contradictions and fad thinking through repeated punchlines and caricatured dialogue.
Chapters
Oh, man. 9,999 steps. One more step from 10,000, and I'm going to. If you're just vegan, you'll get so much better results. Don't count your steps. Count your vegetables. Be vegan. You're vegan. Of course. You're not vegan, man. Of course I am. You're not vegan. I am vegan. Why you have a bunny rabbit on your fingers. Why you wearing a fur coat on your back? Oh, that's fine, but I didn't eat them.
See? Be vegan.
Is it too hot in here?
No, I like it hot. Really hot.
Pump this up.
Here comes Wendy.
Hi, guys.
Did you work out? I just did X fit and kettlebells. I'm pretty sure it's CrossFit and kettlebells. Hey, Wendy, did you wear a full face of makeup like that? Like, did you even sweat? Oh, I just. I wake up like this. Even Starbucks thinks I'm hot.
Did you know that there's chemicals in makeup? This one's organic. I don't think. I don't think you did, or you wouldn't be wearing it.
Hey, guys. Hey, ma'. Am. What are you doing here for five steps? What are you telling. What's up? What's going on? I just made about 955 steps right here to your house, so I figured I'd come back and say, what's up, man? Awesome. Come meet my husband. Yeah, I never met your husband before. Yeah, Brooks. Come here.
Nice to meet you. How are you, Brooks? Good. I'm gonna help you get to a thousand.
One, two, oh, three, four. I like it already, bro. Cool. Well, that's why I had driver, so I can make you a new Paleo shake. I thought you was a vegan. That's how it all began. But I've moved on. I'm Paleo now. You moved on? What is. What is this stuff? Meat, eggs, butter. Rawr. Like the caveman.
Just press back. Deep breath in on the exhale.
Good. One more. Deep breath in. Press. Good. Open your feet a little bit. There you go. Push back. Pop it out. Good stuff. Nice. A little bit more. Good. That's it. Good job. See? Right there.
So let's just.
Take a deep breath. Got down with the instructor. I did, too. Who's doing the injustice. You're a little tight here, and you're loose. Deep breath in. Exhale. Good job.
Take a deep breath in. W. Good job.
Just relax.
Excuse me. Where you going? We're just getting ready to start.
If she's a Teacher. Who the was that?
I'm so hot. I just did hot yoga. You're not even sweaty. Didn't you see my snapshot? I was so sweaty.
So I got this really cool, delicious new bar. Have you researched or heard of any of these ingredients?
Oh, man, I feel like the only one I've researched are the organic rolled oats. You know, we should do. We should ask Mindy. She knows everything about ingredients. Yeah, she does. Mindy.
I wonder where she is. Mindy.
What are you doing? What are you eating? It's really cool. It's this new diet, and I really like it because it works. It's called Iifym. Iifym. What does that mean? It means if it fits in your mouth. So if it's too big to fit in your mouth, you don't eat it? I thought it was if it fits in your macros. I don't know what that is, but the whole, like, if it doesn't fit in your mouth. And then I combined it with gluten free. There's no gluten here. Wait, but just because it's gluten free doesn't mean it's healthy for you. Yeah, it does. Like gluten, if you just don't eat gluten. Like, you have, like, a wheat belly. If you don't eat gluten, you don't have a belly. A wheat belly? Well, aren't you, like. Aren't you Paleo? Aren't you vegan? I'm over that. I tried it, but this tastes so much better. Yeah, I'm just still not buying that. And this has no calories.
And it kind of fills you up. It's got the bubbles. Hey, guys. Hey, Wendy. I just did polites today. Don't you mean Pilates? Yes. And, Wendy, it seems like every day you're doing something different. Why don't you just pick something and stick with it? Here. My life coach recommended it. She said it would make me hot.
I seriously loved. What are you eating? Aren't they cute? It's fat free. Yeah, but you don't know what sugar is in that. It's not sugar. It's called dextrose. Maltodextrin. Yeah, and both of those are sugars. Like, that's all sugar. That's not sugar. Duh. Do you know how bad sugar is for you? Oh, I don't eat those. Here, let me see em. Let me see em.
I don't eat them. I don't eat them. I stay away from all sugar. It's so bad for you. I'm late for my class, guys. I think I have to go check out. All right.
There's no gluten.
I cannot. What are you doing? What are you eating? It's this new diet I heard about. It's really cool. I really like it. It's called Iifym. Iifym? What does that mean? It means if it fits in your mouth. So if it's too big to fit in your mouth, you do it.
What are you doing? What are you eating? I need other men. I'm still eating my.
The caveman. I'm gonna block you out so I don't see you. I'm cave myself out of here. Wow. I'm full on set designer. I'm like set top person today. Making bread and so creep. Jimmer, this is not shaving cream. This is weird. Like oil of olay cream.
Oh, my God.
He won't really. Which is life. I know, but I'll do those faces. Oh, my God. Open your lights a little wider.
